Liam was giddy as he said, “Thanks.” I was more reserved. The last time Denny and I had spoken, I’d been an ass. Seemed to be a pattern with me. “Hey, can I talk to you for a minute,” I told him.
He nodded and we stepped away from Liam. I stared at my feet while I prepared my apology. You’d think I’d be an expert at them by now. “I just wanted to say…sorry I was a prick last time we talked.” I thought to add more, but there really wasn’t any more to add. That pretty much summed it up.
Denny put a hand on my shoulder. “No worries, mate. I’ve already let that go.” When I looked up at him, he smiled. “You seem different,” he told me. “In a good way. I think the audience sees it too.” He glanced over at Liam before looking back at me. “I’d never tell him this, but…you’ve nailed it every time you’ve gone onstage. And you’ve really rallied the country behind you. No small feat, considering how much of a rift you caused when you left.” He patted my arm. “You’ve worked hard, and the guys and I have noticed. We’re all very proud of you.”
My nerves evaporated under his praise. “Thank you. I think I needed to hear that.”
He clapped my shoulder again. “Good luck tonight.”
But after he left, my nerves started creeping back in. This was it…the moment of truth.
When it was time, Liam and I went onstage together. The host gave each of the judges a moment to praise Liam and I for getting this far. Kellan was the last one to speak. He had to wait a solid three minutes for the screaming to die down long enough for him to start. “I just want you both to know, no matter what the outcome is tonight, you’re both winners in my eyes. You’ve both worked hard at earning your right to be in the band. Congratulations.”
The crowd started screaming again, so I tilted my head to thank Kellan for his words. I’d always been so jealous of him, and he’d never been anything but gracious to me. I was such a dick.
After each of the judges had said their words of encouragement, the host turned to Liam and me. He smiled and asked us how we were doing. I fought to keep my expression even. If he took his sweet fucking time opening the fucking envelope tonight, a blood vessel was going to burst in my brain. Just end this fucking torture already!
“You’ve both done so amazing on this show…let’s take a moment to recap, shall we?”
I wanted to groan, I wanted to scream. Instead, I scanned the crowd. There were several faces I recognized—all of my family was here, plus some of my ex-coworkers, Justin and his girlfriend, Kate, Denny and his wife, Abby, but the most important face in the crowd was my wife’s. While Anna watched the monitors playing my montage, I watched her. When the video got to the section of my audition when I said I was sorry to my wife, a tear dripped down Anna’s cheek. She met eyes with me and smiled, then she mouthed the words I love you.
Grinning myself, I switched my gaze to my feet. Win or lose, it was okay, because Anna and I had healed something broken between us, and that was more important than any job ever would be. After Liam’s video montage ended, the host returned his eyes to us. “Let’s not make you boys wait any longer. The winner of Can You Be a D-Bag? is…” I closed my eyes and squeezed Liam’s hand. Either way, I was fine with this. The host’s booming voice echoed around the auditorium as he announced the winner. “Liam Hancock! Congratulations, Liam!”
There was an explosion of light and noise, and confetti streamers started pouring down onto the stage like rain. Opening my eyes, I looked over at Liam. Several things happened to my body simultaneously: joy, pain, elation, sorrow. My brother won! And I lost…
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I’d wanted this so much, and I’d just lost it. Permanently. I felt my vision hazing, my knees buckling, but somehow, I pushed the feeling aside. This contest wasn’t mine to lose. I’d had my chance with the D-Bags, and I’d blown it. My time was over; it was Liam’s time to shine now. Pushing aside the lingering agony, I squeezed Liam in a gigantic bear hug. This was okay. Liam deserved to win. The other eighteen contestants flooded the stage as the host thanked the audience, the viewers, and the numerous sponsors. The cameras eventually stopped recording, the confetti eventually stopped falling, and people eventually started leaving. I stayed on the stage, floored. It was over…and after all of that, I’d lost.
The guys came over to congratulate Liam. They were instantly surrounded by fans who’d stayed for autographs. Some even asked Liam for his, which astonished him by the look on his face. Evan, Matt, and Kellan each gave me shocked, sympathetic expressions. It made me feel better to see them surprised; they’d all thought I’d win. Denny and Abby joined their circle, and I watched from the outside as the new D-Bags began forming.
While I stared at them, Anna and the girls approached me. Gibson wrapped her arms around my waist, while Onnika held her hands out and asked for me. I picked up the miniature version of my wife and squeezed her tight. This is what matters. Anna tenderly laid her fingers on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Griffin. I know how badly you wanted this.”
Opening my eyes, I shook my head. “I wanted this more.” I squeezed Onnika and wrapped an arm around Gibson for emphasis. Anna crooked a smile. Wondering just what she thought of our future now, I set Onnika down; she immediately started playing with the half foot of confetti piled on the stage. Facing Anna, I grabbed her hands. “I didn’t win, I’m not a D-Bag anymore.”
She shrugged. “You’ll always be a D-Bag to me.”
With a sigh, I looked down. “Do you still want to be with me if I’m not in a band, if I have a regular, crap-paying job?”
Removing her hand from mine, Anna lifted my chin so I’d look at her. “Griffin, it was never about the band, it was never about the money. It was about us being team, us being honest…that was what mattered to me. Feeling like I was important to you was what mattered to me. And I finally feel that way. So yes, crap job or not, I still want to be with you.” She laced our fingers together and stepped forward until we were touching. “Always.”
Grinning, I gave her a soft kiss. “At least the sequestering part is over with. We can do a lot more than just talk now.”
She laughed as she returned my kisses. “But I like the talking,” she said, her voice husky.
“I do too, but I’m ready to go home.” My tone started out playful, but ended up serious. I’d missed her. So much.
“Go home…where?” she tentatively asked.
Pulling back, I looked her in the eye. “Wherever you are, that’s my home.”
Smiling, she leaned in to kiss me again. After several long moments, our kids wanted our attention again. Gibson was practically crawling up my pant leg, so I picked her up, then skillfully, I picked up Onnika too. I half expected them to start fighting in my arms, but maybe having taken my “be nice” message to heart, Gibson handed Onnika some confetti. Onnika smiled and told her, “Tank you.”
As the four of us started walking off the stage, Anna sighed. “You know…I’ll kind of miss this stage. It was…fun.” She looked back at me with a playful gleam, and I knew she wasn’t talking about the show.
My grin was devilish. “Yeah, it was. We might have to crash a D-Bags show so we can spread some ‘luck’ on their stage.”
Anna laughed. Oh yeah…we were so going to christen their tour. I had no doubt in my mind. I set the kids down as we approached the steps. They were heavier than I remembered. Anna held Gibson’s hand while I held Onnika’s. As I helped Onnie down the stairs, Anna tossed out, “Oh, before I forget…something happened on that stage that I haven’t had a chance to tell you about yet.”
I looked back at her, curious. “Oh yeah, what? Were we filmed?” I smiled, hoping she said yes—that would be one fucking hot sex tape.