I let that thought repeat throughout my head the entire day, and by the end of it, I was shocked that I was still alive. I’d made it through the last round of cuts. Now I just needed to be included on the show.

As the last hundred contestants gathered in a room to be talked to one on one, Cruz and a couple of his buddies came up to me. Extending his hand, he said, “Thanks, man. I think your tip helped save me.”

I shook my head. “Your talent saved you.”

He beamed under my praise, then wiped his hands on his pants; they had been a little clammy, but I hadn’t said anything. Mine were too. “I suppose you’re not nervous at all, huh? Since your spot is all but guaranteed.”

Falling into a chair beside Liam, who looked a little better than this morning, I let out a long sigh. “Honestly, I don’t think they’ll invite me on the show. The guys and I…we have baggage. All of you have a much better chance than I do.” It hurt to admit that, but it was the truth. And from some of the harsh critiques the guys had given me the last couple of weeks, it was clear they weren’t holding any punches.

Liam patted my knee. “Nah, I’ve been watching them with you. Sure, you’re not getting any special treatment, but you’re not being singled out either. You’re just another contestant to them, no better, no worse…so you have as much chance as any of us.”

That thought actually perked me up some, and I wrapped my arm around Liam and rubbed my knuckles into his skull. If my odds were as good as everyone else’s, I’d take it. “Thanks, little bro.”

He shoved me back to get away. “I’m older than you, asswipe.”

“Oh yeah,” I said, laughing. “I keep forgetting.”

As time ticked down, I got more and more anxious. If Liam was right about my chances, then maybe I could actually get on the show. But even still, only twenty of the one hundred people in here were moving on. That meant eighty of us were going home. I wasn’t sure what percentage that was, but I knew it wasn’t good. My only hope was that the guys thought I was worthy of a second chance.

I called my wife as the chopping block loomed larger and larger in front of me. I felt like I was going to one-up Liam and toss my cookies right there in my seat. My fingers were shaking as I brought the phone to my ear. I needed this so much.

“Hey, you. I was wondering if I was going to get a phone call today. How did you do?” Anna’s voice was light and carefree, everything I wasn’t feeling.

“I made it through the last cuts, but I’m sitting here in a room with a hundred people, and only twenty of us are moving on. I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“Just breathe…you’ll be fine.”

I inhaled a deep breath, and it did calm me some, but not nearly enough. “I’m gonna need a little extra support today. Can you put Gibby on the line?” Hearing my little girl laugh lightened even my worst moods.

Anna paused. “I can’t right now…but I can do something better.”

Wondering if we were ready for phone sex, I crooked a smile. “Oh yeah…what?”

“Come to the door at the back of the room.”

I looked back, puzzled. The room I was waiting in had two sets of doors. One led to another room, where the judges were waiting to give us our final evaluations, and the other set of doors led out, to the main area of the hotel. I stood and headed back to the doors that led out. Maybe Anna had delivered something to the hotel for me. Hopefully it was a sedative. Or alcohol. Maybe both.

There were camera crews recording our every movement inside the room. The host was also in there, interviewing contestants, getting their hopes and dreams on film, in case they were the lucky ones about to be chosen. A camera had been on me when I’d called my wife, and the guy running it was filming my every step. I was so used to having them around me now that it barely registered as he followed me to the door.

“You send me something?” I asked Anna.

“Kind of,” she said with a giggle.

A couple of the staff looked at me as I opened the door, but nobody said anything. Until the final round actually started, we were free to leave. If we didn’t make it back here in time though, we were automatically disqualified, which is why no one but me was leaving.

Opening the door, I looked out. I’d been expecting to see a delivery person with balloons or flowers or maybe even pizza, but what I found waiting out there was so much better.

Anna was standing in the hallway, holding our children and smiling at me like she’d been looking forward to this moment all her life.

My breath caught, my heart stopped, and my cell phone slipped out of my hand and crashed to the ground. I must be dreaming, there’s no way this vision before me is real. But as Anna disconnected her phone and slipped it back into her purse, I knew I was awake, and she really was here with me. It took every ounce of willpower I had to not pull her into my arms, but I didn’t know if I could, and not knowing if I could touch Anna was a foreign, unsettling feeling. I just wanted my wife back.

Anna was holding Onnika on her hip, while Gibson stood at her side. Gibson picked up my phone, then tackle-hugged my legs. “Daddy!”

My eyes were stinging as I dropped down to my knees to give my daughter a proper hug. Her familiar smell filled me, an oddly appealing mix of watermelon shampoo and cinnamon graham crackers, and I suddenly felt completely at peace. God, I have missed this. As I rubbed her back, I looked up at Anna. A fat tear was dripping down her cheek as she watched us. “What are you doing here?” I finally asked her. “I thought we were going to reconnect from a distance?”

Wiping her tear away, she gave me a breathtaking smile. “We are…but they’re not. Your children need you, and you need them.”

She bounced Onnika on her hip, making her grin. She was gnawing on a rubber ring, and drool was all down her chin and her shirt, and it was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. As I stood to take Onnika from her, Anna told me, “We’ll stay at a different hotel, but the kids want to cheer for you in the audience. I want to cheer for you in the audience,” she added in a whisper.

Standing close to Anna as I wrapped my arms around Onnika, I shook my head. “I might not make it that far.”

Anna’s eyes were a deep, calm green as she stared at me. Her lips were so full and luscious, it was physically difficult to not lean down and suck on one. “You will, Griffin. I know you will.”

Onnika grabbed my shirt and I kissed her head as I squeezed her tight. She smelled so good, like her mom, but even sweeter. Gibson was still clinging to my leg, refusing to let go, while Anna stared up at me with unabashed longing in her eyes. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I needed my family, I needed my wife.

Releasing one hand from Onnika, I wrapped it around Anna. “Come here,” I murmured, pulling her into me. Our lips instinctively found each other’s, and she breathed a sigh of relief as we connected. I knew this wouldn’t fix everything, but I felt like it was a start, and as our mouths softly moved together, I felt the massive hole in my body, a hole that had been growing larger every day she’d been gone, slowly begin to fill.

When we broke apart, I cupped her cheek. “I love you, so much,” I told her, surprised at how much easier it was to admit that. Anna’s smile was glorious. It made me wish I’d been telling her how much I loved her from the beginning. “You’re everything to me,” I added, meaning every word. I felt like I’d learned that the hard way, and I also felt like that experience had made the words so much more powerful to me. I’d earned them.

“I love you too,” she murmured, her eyes filling again. “Good luck in there. We’ll be here when you get out.” By the way she said it, I got the feeling she meant, Regardless of the outcome, we’ll be waiting for you. I still wanted to win, to prove myself to the guys and the world, but if I lost…I’d be okay with it, because I’d still won her. And that was worth more than all the rock bands in the world.