“There are things that happened in prison that made me wish for the drug ring back. But every time I thought I couldn’t live one more second in there, I thought of Julia. She was safe in Denver, living the life she deserved. It wasn’t until a few years ago when my parents negotiated with the police for me to give them the information I knew that I was released for cooperating. They made a huge bust with that information and the rest of the guys were either killed or locked up. So that’s why I’m out, Bex. For all the shit I did, I probably do deserve to be locked up for the rest of my life. But they don’t even need to put me behind the bars because I’ve been in my own self-imposed prison for a very long time. I have no idea who that thug was that came after us today. He knew who I was, but I think someone on the inside must’ve told him just enough information to come after me. I memorized every face I came into contact with in that group, and he wasn’t one of them. He was more than likely a thug paid by someone to come find out what I was up to.”

My story finished, I looked at Bex. “You sacrificed your life for your sister,” she said.

I shrugged. “Well, kind of. I didn’t really see it that way. It was worth it to me.”

“I’m a fucking bitch,” she responded. A short, dry laugh escaped my lips.

“I thought we covered this already,” I teased. She looked down at our joined hands.

“Is this why you don’t play music?”

I nodded. “The last time I played was right before Jill was murdered. She liked me to play for her.” I realized I was talking to Bex about another woman. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” she said. “It all makes perfect sense now. The one thing you loved, playing music, was the one thing that got your life all fucked up. I don’t blame you at all for not being able to play anymore.” Bex took a deep breath. “Johnny, I’m so fucked up. I’m sorry for overreacting in Denver and leaving you like that. I was fucking terrified hearing those words out of the judge’s mouth. It was like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. I don’t react well to certain triggers, one being drugs. You didn’t know.”

“I think we can both realize that about each other. Our pasts have fucked us up. We are who we are because of them. I’m sorry I never told you about the reason I was in jail. I wasn’t intentionally hiding it from you; I’m just not used to talking about myself to anyone. The things I just told you? Not even Julia knows all of that.”

Shock registered on her face. “I know you didn’t mean to keep it from me,” Bex said. “You had no idea what had happened to me with my dad because I never told you.”

“So moral of this story is, we suck at communicating,” I joked. A small smile played on her lips and I considered that a huge success. “I’m sorry about what happened today.”

“What’s the likelihood there are others out there going to come after you?” Bex’s voice wobbled, and I hated that her eyes were filled with tears. I hadn’t thought of that, and it quickly took the smile off of my face. This was no fucking time for joking. What was my problem? Bex could’ve died today because of me. This was exactly why I never wanted to give the police the information so I could be free, because you never knew just how far the branches of one of these rings reached. I knew I’d never seen that guy before, yet he’d been put away because of me. Was I ever truly going to be safe?

“I don’t know, Bex. I’d like to say he was just a guy carrying out a grudge for someone, but I don’t know that. What I can say is this.” I rubbed my thumb along the soft skin of her hand and looked her straight in the eyes before continuing. “I promise to be completely honest with anything and everything you ask me from here on out. Nothing is off limits. And no matter what, I promise to protect you with my life.”

“None of us have guarantees in life,” she said. “So you can’t control what will happen to us any more than I can.”

“Are you okay? Really okay?”

“Yes,” she said. “I’m a tough bitch. You can knock me down but I get right back up again.”

“Bex,” I said, putting my hands on either side of her face. “You don’t have to be tough with me. I’ve never been more scared in my life than I was today when he walked into the bar with a gun to your head. And when I saw that blood all over you? I thought my heart might shoot right out of my throat. I. Was. Scared. I’m not afraid to admit that to you.” My voice cracked, causing me to stop talking. Clearing my throat, I continued. “And in the ambulance, when you were in such shock that you couldn’t even respond to me? I would’ve done anything to help you. Anything.”

Tears shimmered in her eyes. “You told me you loved me.”

She’d heard me. A flutter of fear rippled through my chest, followed just as quickly by relief. She wasn’t telling me to fuck off so she must be okay with it. “I did.”

She wrung her hands, worrying her lip in-between her teeth. “Did you mean it?”

“Every fucking word,” I said, my voice carrying just a little too far but I didn’t care. I’d get on top of the fucking building if I needed to. I loved her.

“Tell me again,” she whispered.

“Tell me something first,” I whispered back. “And then I’ll tell you how much I love you every day for the rest of our fucking lives.”

She nodded as one tear dripped down her cheek and hit my hand. I knew Bex didn’t cry. I was honored to see every one of those fucking drops coming down her cheeks.

“Are you pregnant?”

She lifted one of her hands and put it on the side of my face, stroking my short beard. She’d never done that before, and I fucking loved it. “Yes.”

It was one syllable, but it effectively changed my life forever. “It’s mine.” It wasn’t a question. I knew it was.

“Yes,” she said again.

“That’s what you were coming to The Outrigger for today, to tell me?”

She shook her head, looking down at her lap and bunching the sheet up in her hands. “I was going to lie to you and tell you it wasn’t yours, that I was involved with someone else. I saw Julia the other day at the doctor’s office, and she figured out what I was doing there. She said I had two days to tell you or she would tell you herself. So I had to come up with a reason to tell you but to push you away.”

“Because of my past,” I mused. My baby sister. Always protecting me.

“Yes. I’m sorry, Johnny.”

I lifted her chin so she was looking at me again. “You were protecting your child. I can understand that. You have nothing to be sorry about. While we’re being honest, I have to tell you that after you left me . . .”

“No,” she interrupted, holding up her hand like she knew what I was going to say. “Don’t.”

“But I need to . . .”

“I left you,” she said. “I don’t want to know or need to know what happened afterwards, Johnny. I know how you exercise your demons. Or should I say, how both of us used to handle our problems. From now on, I’m the only one exercising them, though.”

I laughed. “You bet your sweet ass I’m going to exercise you. Wait . . . are you allowed to have sex while pregnant?”

Bex rolled her eyes. “Yes, Johnny.”

“Okay. That’s good, because I’m going to punish you for leaving me,” I teased.

“Fuck you,” Bex said, smiling.

“I’d like to, very much,” I said, nuzzling her neck. “God, I’ve fucking missed you, Bex. What do you say we get out of here and you let me take you home and show you how much I love you?" Who knew up until earlier today that I thought those words were the most impossible words I could ever say. Yet here I was, saying them as easily as the word ‘fuck.’

“Wait,” Bex said. I lifted my head and she grabbed me and pressed her lips to mine. “I’m so fucking sorry, Johnny. I was miserable without you for the last month. Just ask Natalie and Beau. They were both about to kill me.”

“You don’t have a damn thing to be sorry about,” I said. “Let’s make each other a promise, though. If either of us hit each other’s triggers, we say so. We don’t have to go around taking out every single fucking skeleton from our closet, but if something bothers us, we talk about it.”