“Stop. Calling. Me. That.”

His eyes darkened on my face. “You don’t like me calling you baby? What do you want me to call you?”

“Just Bex,” I breathed. “And I want you bareback. Are you clean?” I couldn’t believe I just said that, but it was fucking true. I wanted to feel his skin against mine. “I’m clean and on birth control.”

Johnny’s eyes flashed. “I’m tested regularly. Are you sure?”

“Never been more fucking sure in my life.”

Johnny looked at me for a beat longer before nodding, his eyes darkening with desire. He sank me down on top of him without another word. My eyes rolled back in my head at the sensation of him being inside me without a barrier. It was pure heaven. There was no other feeling like this man inside me. That was simultaneously the best and scariest feeling I’d ever had.

I rested my hands on his chest as I rode him without abandon.

“That’s right, Bex. Feels so fucking good. God, I love watching you ride my cock. The way you squeeze me when you lift up? Feeling your warm pussy around me without anything between us? I could come in seconds.” He sat up effortlessly, taking my arms and pulling them behind me and clasping them together with his. This made my chest push out in his face, and he took full control since I couldn’t move other than up and down on him. He nipped and sucked my nipples, his abs flexing as he pushed himself up into me over and over.

I could feel it building. I wanted to grip onto him, but I couldn’t move. “Johnny.”

“Tell me.” He shoved harder inside me, making me lose my breath.

“I want to touch you. Let me go.”

He let go of my hands, and I immediately used them to stabilize myself on his arms so I could control our tempo. My muscles contracted and I groaned, throwing my head back with the overwhelming sensation of my coming release.

“You’re so close, aren’t you ba—Bex,” Johnny grunted, pumping hard a few more times before I shattered around him, yelling and crying out his name. As I came down, he grabbed me and pulled me off of him, making me whimper with the loss of him. What was he doing?

“Patience,” he teased, turning me onto my stomach and spreading my legs. “Put your arms up and grab the bed and don’t let go.”

I didn’t let men boss me around in bed. I was in control. Except with him. And I kinda liked it. No, I loved it. Not that I’d admit that. Johnny lifted me so I was on all fours, my hands gripping the rails of my bed. I tilted my head to the side, watching as he stroked himself.

“Hey, none of that,” I teased back. “If I wasn’t allowed, neither are you.”

Johnny kneeled behind me, still stroking. The sight was enough to make me lose any train of thought I might’ve had. “I don’t know which way I like you better, Bex. You’re so tight. What was that? Two already? We have a lot left to do.” He gripped my hips and pushed into me, sending me forward with the exertion.

I thought I might die before we ever made it to double digits.

“How have rehearsals been?” Johnny laid back on my bed, his arms folded behind his head. The sheet was barely covering his manhood, which finally seemed to be at rest. I was barely hanging on to consciousness. The man had thoroughly fucked every part of me until my legs were spaghetti, and I couldn’t come one more time.

“I don’t think I can talk,” I laughed. “You’ve killed all my brain cells.”

“Hmm,” Johnny lifted the sheet. “I know I’m big, but I don’t think I go quite that far. Death by orgasm, huh, ba—shit. That’s a bad habit, Bex. Sorry.”

“You seriously could kill someone.”

“But I don’t want to kill someone. Just you. In the best way possible, of course.”

I had nothing to say to that. Something had shifted between us tonight. I wasn’t sure I liked it. “Rehearsal has been great. We’re ready to go. I’m nervous, though.”

I wanted to smack myself across the face. Shut the hell up, Bex! So he gives you multiple orgasms and is the best sex of your life. That doesn’t mean you need to start talking to the man! You don’t talk to anyone. Remember why, and shut your fucking mouth.

“I like this Bex.” I lifted my eyebrow at him in silent question. “You put on a good front,” Johnny continued. “I get it. But I like the Bex you are now. Real, relatable, and sexy as hell.”

Panic bubbled up in my throat. “W-what?” All of a sudden I felt very naked, even though I was covered by the sheet. I looked away from Johnny’s prying eyes. How the hell did he do that? How did he see through me?

“Hey.” Johnny sat up, turning my face so I was looking at him. “Did I say something wrong?”

Yes. You said everything wrong. You aren’t supposed to see through me. You’re supposed to be good for a fantastic, epic fuck and then leave me alone. I can’t talk. I won’t. “I . . .” I wasn’t even sure how to answer him. “You better get going. It’s late, and you wore me the fuck out.”

He sat still, his eyes boring into mine. Did the fucker not hear me?

“Bullshit,” he said finally.

I lifted my eyebrow at him again and crossed my arms over my bare chest barely covered by a blanket. “Bullshit what?”

“You’re pushing me out of here to stop me from seeing the real you. Fuck, Bex, I get that more than you know. You don’t know the shit I’ve been through in my life, and I’m not going to bore you with it. I see the fear all over your face. You’re afraid that you dropped your guard with me, and I see more than you want me to see. How am I doing?”

He was doing fucking fantastic, because he’d hit every proverbial nail on the head. For twenty-seven years, I’d hidden from everyone. As a child, I’d been perfect Bexley. After I was abandoned at the age of seven, I was Angry Bex. Even Beau and Natalie didn’t know everything. Sure they knew the shit they’d been present for, but not the rest. How had Johnny figured me out so easily?

“I’m not looking to label us or be something we aren’t. Fuck, I’m a laundry list of issues I wouldn’t wish on anyone. There’s something more about you than just the most fantastic lay of my life. I think you know that, too. I’m not asking you to tell me your life story, Bex. Just be real.”

Yes, I knew it. Just like I knew seeing him again tonight was a bad idea but the promise of multiple orgasms had my brain on hiatus. I’d been even more of a super bitch in the last few weeks for that exact reason.

My mouth was so dry it felt like I’d been walking in a desert for days. My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt the panic gripping me, ready to take over at any second. My chest heaved, my breathing erratic as I tried to stop what was inevitable.

Johnny must’ve noticed because he reached over, pulling me until I was sitting naked in his lap. “Breathe,” he said, caressing my back. “It’s okay, Bex. Deep breaths.”

I wasn’t weak. I couldn’t be weak in front of him. Weakness was not an option in my life. It showed people that you were affected. He couldn’t see me like this. I tried to move and get up, but his arms tightened around me.

“Let me . . . up . . .” I was gasping now, my body taking over and wanting to flee.

Johnny held tighter as I yelled out, slamming him in the chest with my fists. “I hate you!”

“No you don’t,” he said into my hair. “Let it out, Bex. No matter what you say or do, I’m not letting go.”

Why was he doing this? Did he get some sort of enjoyment out of seeing me act like a complete lunatic? Maybe that was it. He could go back and tell everyone that the lead singer for Jaded Regret was a freak in bed and a lunatic out of it.

I shook my head, pulling again. I knew I was no match for his strength. Hell, he could probably bench press me with one arm. I just hoped to God he would just let me go so I could keep some of my dignity. “Johnny.” Tears were pricking behind my eyes. No. You will not cry.