The reception area is decorated entirely in shades of white, even the employees waiting to check in Jake. I'm too busy taking in the surroundings to pay much attention to them though.

"Good morning," soothes a woman. "You must be Jake Ward. Welcome to Serenity House."

Something about her voice tickles a memory bank. I glance over but don't recognize her. She's plump like me, and her dark brown hair flows over her shoulders in a way that I envy. I've always longed for hair that doesn't sproing every time I move my head.

I step closer, hoping she'll say something that will hint at how I know her. When she laughs, Drax looks at me in surprise.

"She's got your laugh, Lola."

My head feels as if it's about to crumple in on itself and I have to lean against Drax for support. I can't believe what I'm seeing and hearing and feeling. It can't be her. The last time I saw her, maybe ten years ago, she was wasting away from the drugs. I begged Dad to stop making me go see her. It was killing me to see her killing herself. I thought she died years ago.

The woman behind the counter glances up at me, then does a double-take. Tears well in her gentle, brown eyes -- eyes that I inherited from her -- and she smiles tenderly.

"Lauren," she whispers.

I hear it now. It's been so long since I've heard her voice, it's not surprising I didn't catch it at first. Especially since I assumed she was long-dead. But now I can't unhear it.

I want to run. I want to scream, cry, fall to the floor and throw a tantrum. But I manage to control myself and say the only thing that comes to mind.

"Hi Mom."

I watch as Grace Barnett, my mother, if you could call her that, leads Jake back to a conference room. As his personal intake counselor, she'll oversee his rehab and be his go-to gal for the next month. Which is hilarious to me.

Grace was never someone a person could count on for support -- well, not me, anyway. She was too busy getting wasted or trying to figure out a way to get wasted to worry about other people, much less her own daughter.

Thank God our little reunion was brief. She didn't even try to hug me, which is a giant relief. I'm pretty sure I would have throat-punched her if she'd tried. All she did was smile and turn her attention back to Jake, which is exactly where it should have been.

"I thought your mom was..." Drax doesn't say 'dead' as we head out to the car, but I know what he's asking.

"Guess not."

"You okay?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be? Just found out my mom's alive. Yay."

"Oookaaay."

We might not know every quirk about each other, but he knows enough to keep his mouth shut as we drive back toward the marina. My brain is swirling. I have no idea what to think or even how to think.

"I mean...like, what the....how did she...." Apparently words are beyond me, too.

"Babe, deep breaths."

I take a few breaths and it actually helps. "I'm just...surprised."

"No doubt. Why did you think she was dead?"

I shrug nonchalantly but I'm a mess of so many emotions inside that I couldn't name them all if I tried. Shock, anger, love, hate, fear. It's too much to take, but as she always did, she's left me with no choice but to deal with it all on my own. Except now I'm not on my own. I have Drax.

"She was a drunk and addict my entire life. Dad somehow managed to keep her sober during the pregnancy, but after that, she was a goner. Last time I saw her, she was in the hospital from yet another overdose. They suspected that time it was on purpose. She looks nothing like I remember, which I suppose is a good thing."

"Your Dad didn't know?"

Shame and anger push all the other emotions out of the way. "Maybe. He did his best to keep her in my life, but after that visit, I told him I never wanted to see or talk about her again. I overheard the doc telling Dad she probably wouldn't pull through, and I wouldn't have been able to handle going to her funeral. He tried to bring her up a few times over the years but I always shut him down. He finally gave up."

"Looks like she made it."

"Looks that way."

I spent years building a wall up against the pain Grace had caused me, only to have it crumble the second I saw her. I need to get it back up fast if my psyche is going to survive.

"You going to call her, now that you know?"

"Why should I? It's not like she tried to get in touch with me."

I slap more bricks on the wall, but not fast enough. Tears prickle at my eyes, and I'm just grateful I don't have to hide them from the man sitting next to me.

"Lola..."

"Just leave it, Drax. I'll be fine but I need to talk to my dads. Mind if I drop you off? "

Thirty minutes later, I'm bursting into Raines Records, ready to yell at Dad for not telling me about Grace, or maybe for trying to keep her in my life, or maybe for partying just a little too hard with her on the night I was conceived. I'm not entirely sure what all I'm mad about but, by God, he's going to hear about it!

Papi whirls away from a customer when I enter and runs to me, gathering me in his arms. I'm mad as hell and don't really want a hug but, I have to admit, his embrace soothes me.

"Oh, pobrecita, you see your madre today, yes? She was muy feo, very ugly, yes?"

For whatever reason, Papi has always been insanely jealous of my mother. It seems silly to me because Dad met him when I was one and hasn't had eyes for anyone else ever since.

I suspect part of it is that he worries she'll take his place in our little family, which could never happen, of course. But mostly, I think he just hates that Dad was ever with a woman in the first place.

"Luis, stop that," Dad scolds. "We agreed to never speak ill of Grace in front of Lauren, no matter how old she gets."

"Ay, I forget. Lola-mami, you okay?"

"I'm fine." I pull away from Papi's bear-hug, though he doesn't want to let me. "I just...wait, how did you know?"

"Grace called a few minutes ago."

My skin tingles with fury and hate and misery and fear. Everything I ever felt as a kid -- not knowing if she'd be straight or sober when I visited, wondering if the next phone call would be to tell us she was dead, resentment over her miserable attempts at being a mother -- bubbles up to the surface.

 "You've been in touch with her?! You knew where she was all this time and you never... What kind of father are you?!"

It's a low blow, I know, because Dad has never been anything but devoted to me. He's not Ward Cleaver, by any means, but he always had my best interests at heart.

"Lauren Anne Raines!"

I'm stunned by Papi's use of my full name. I can't remember the last time he said it, but I'm sure I was a kid doing something naughty.

"You no speak to your padre like dat!"

"No, it's okay, Luis. Lauren has every right to be angry."

Papi relents but arches a finely plucked eyebrow at me as a warning to watch my tone. I guess you never grow too old to be reprimanded by your parents, and it smarts just as much.

"I'm sorry, honeybear, but you've made it very clear over the years that you had no interest in hearing about Grace. I tried to tell you that she got her life together but you refused to listen."

"Why did you stay in contact with her in the first place? It's not like you had to. There was no court order for visitation or custody. She signed away her parental rights the day I was born, for godsakes!"