“And don’t worry.” Carly winks. “I caught the whole thing on video.”

Evie mouths thank you across the table and we resume eating, trading stories and laughter, the conversation easy. The excitement and joy that flow from Evie tonight are infectious, and Carly entertains us with tales of horrible patients. I laugh so hard my stomach hurts. My heart feels full, the worries from earlier gone.

I wave good-bye to the girls and walk the short distance to the light rail station. It’s only a quarter mile, but it’s August and the heat presses down, leaving me sweaty and uncomfortable by the time the next train arrives.

A ten minute ride yields my stop. A prickling sensation moves up my spine; my skin breaks out in gooseflesh despite the warm air. I power walk. My building is only two blocks over. It’s late, and I keep my bag close and head down. The click clack click of my heels is the soundtrack to my thoughts.

The faint footsteps of another approaches from behind. I look over my shoulder. A man in grungy blue jeans, white T-shirt, and ball cap pulled low so I can’t see his eyes follows several paces back. I tuck my head down, hyper aware of the sound of his steps and how they grow closer to mine.

I turn right at the corner, one block away from my apartment, and hope he continues his direction. I don’t like the feeling of being followed. I’m relieved when I glance over my shoulder and no longer see the man. I release the breath I’m holding.

With my building in view, I move to cross the street and I find the stranger from before walking slowly down the opposite side of the street. Unease settles in my gut. Maybe he’s going somewhere else. It’s probably just a coincidence. I attempt to breathe normally as I pick up the pace of my steps. Fear climbs through my belly and threatens to choke me. Calm down, Kate!

I pull open the door to my building, wishing I had taken up Carly and Evie’s offer to drive me home. The man is following. I can’t hear him, but I feel the presence of another person. I try not to panic. I don’t look behind. I walk with purpose, hit the elevator button, and pray the car arrives soon.

Bing. The doors open, no one exits the elevator. I rush inside, jab at the close button and the number five circle.

“Hold the door!” A low voice rumbles and a thick, muscular arm reaches between the closing doors and halts my safe escape. Stranger steps in, reaches around me to hit the door close button, and effectively traps me with his body inside the elevator.

“Floor?” I croak. He steps to the opposite side of the car which gives me a little space, but ignores my question. He knows I’m going to five. I’ve already pressed the button. If I scream no one will hear. Shit. I don’t know what to do. Fright works its way into my bones. Another chill runs down my spine. I pray the car stops on another floor and one of my neighbors gets on, but that doesn’t happen. We reach five.

Bing.

GOD, I HOPE THIS WORKS. I’ve spent the last week giving her time. And getting my shit in order. Because if there is one thing I know to be true, it’s that actions speak louder than any words. And I’m not great with words. So, if there’s a chance for Kate and me together, I’m gonna have to prove it. I just pray it’s enough.

I hope she gets home soon. Relaxing against the wood of her apartment door, I sink to the ground and sit. This place is not safe. I know she likes the apartment, but I passed three homeless guys and several shady looking characters on my way up, and that was only between the parking garage and the door.

They’re all at Melissa’s for their monthly girls’ night in. I glance at my phone, it’s just after nine. I don’t know how late they’ll go, but I’ll wait as long as it takes. Maybe she won’t come home afterward? I shake my head and banish the insecurities that beg to steal my confidence. No. She’ll come home. And she’s not the kind of girl to bring home random guys. This I know now.

I twist the small package in my hand, wrapped in brown paper and twine. A smile plays at my lips. This is important. Kate is important. As if my thoughts have psychic powers, a ding sounds across the hallway. The doors part and I stand as Kate rushes off the car. A man with a ball cap pulled low over his face steps out and follows behind a few paces.

She isn’t looking up but her steps seem rushed. She glances over her shoulder at the man behind and breaks into a jog.

“Kate!” I call and her gaze snaps to mine. She sprints the distance between us and hurls herself into my arms.

“Jon! Thank God!” Her voice is laced with fear and I wrap my arms around her trembling body. The ding of the door catches my attention; the man with the hat disappears behind the closing doors.

“Kate, are you okay? Was that man following you?” I hold back the urge to chase after him. Kate’s shaking against me.

“Oh, my god!” Her eyes are wild as she loosens her hold. “That man… I was so scared… What if he—?” Her eyelids squeeze shut and her body shudders. I rub my hands up and down her arms. “Jon, if you hadn’t been here waiting for me I think he would have tried to follow me into my apartment.”

“But he didn’t and I’m here.” Yeah, I want to kill the cocksucker. But Kate needs me, and losing my cool won’t help matters. She nods and pulls her keys from her bag.

“You’re right.” I follow her inside without bothering to wait for an invite. I have things to say and quite frankly, I don’t think she wants to be alone after what happened. She tosses her bag onto a small table and turns to meet my gaze.

“Why are you here, Jon?”

“I was waiting for you, Kate.” She rolls her eyes with a grin.

“Yeah, I figured that part out.” I clear my throat.

“Can we talk?”

“Sure.” She leads me to the sofa. Her place is small and there aren’t many seating options. We sit side by side and I twist to meet her gaze.

“I brought you something.” I hand over the small brown package. A soft smile plays at her lips as she turns it over in her hands.

“What is it?” Her eyes are bright with excitement. I chuckle.

“Open it and find out.” She carefully pulls at the string and unfolds the paper to reveal the bird charm necklace.

“Jon, it’s beautiful,” she says on a breath. I take the chain from her and she pulls her hair from her neck as she turns around.

“It’s a swallow. The Romans believed swallows to be a totem to grieving mothers. It was said they carried the souls of the unborn children.” I connect the clasp and Kate turns back to face me. Her hand goes to the charm resting on her chest. Her eyes fill with unshed tears and she smiles.

“That’s beautiful, Jon.” I nod and reach out to take her other hand in my own.

“I thought so. When I found this I thought maybe you could wear it, to remember how much you love your child, and even though you never held your baby, that you’re a good mother.”

Kate nods, and a smile fills her face. A few tears fall from her glistening eyes and I wipe them away with my thumb. I take a deep breath.

“I saw a counselor today.” Her brows rise.

“You did? How was it?” Her voice is cautious, hopeful.

“Oh, it sucked ass.” I laugh and run my fingers over my scalp.

“Oh.” Her eyes study her nail polish.

“But I’m going back next week.” I grip her hands with my own and hold her gaze. “I’m going back every week until they beg me to stop. Because you were right. This is bigger than me and I don’t know how to deal with Will’s death. And I can’t put that on you or anyone else.