The day of his accident he’d forgotten their dinner date. The night he took her for a ride on her Harley he acted confused when she reminded him about his parents and Brooke’s family coming for Cage’s game. Fucking twenty-twenty hindsight.

He continued. “It’s all going to get worse. I’m taking medication for my headaches and seizures, but it’s not a cure. If I do nothing I could go blind in less than two months. If I agree to radiation and try to squeeze out six months, I could experience worse headaches, nausea, vomiting, extreme fatigue, hearing loss, difficulty with speech and memory, and more seizures. If I become the exception and make it past the six months, then they tack on stroke-like symptoms and poor brain function. The fatigue and medications could lead to erectile dysfunction. No sex.”

He lifted her chin with his finger, but she would not give him her tears.

“Sound like fun to you?”

The strong woman who came in the door vanished, leaving a ghost biting her quivering lip, hating herself for being so weak.

Her pain softened his rigid scowl of determination.

“I. Love. You.” His words ripped through the imposter of a heart in her chest. “I’ll do this for you, but you have to know it’s going to feel like the most painful kind of love ever. You need to get that. I would never blame you for turning and walking away. It’s your choice. Are you in?”

AJ didn’t realize Jillian … Jessica … had already experienced the most painful kind of love—letting go. Holding on was so much easier than letting go. It’s the reason she held on to Jessica and held on to her memories of Luke.

“I’m in,” she whispered.

The pain in his eyes intensified. He cradled her face in his hands, shaking his head. “You’re so stubborn.”

Contumacious.

The man who’d made claim to her empty chest, kissed her hard but she would not blink. The next day she’d pull it together, make some calls, and find a doctor that showed some optimism. That night, however, she surrendered her emotions and then her body.

*

“Jillian?” AJ whispered as he held her in his arms.

She fought sleep, wanting to stay with him. The fragility of their time together kept her frozen in place. “Hmm?” She kissed his arm wrapped around her, holding her naked body against his.

“I need you to promise me something.”

“What?”

“Don’t let me hurt you, physically or emotionally, and don’t…” he drew in a long breath “…don’t let me suffer. Let me die with some sort of dignity.”

“AJ—” She choked on her words, damning the nagging tears.

“Promise me.”

“How will I know?” she whispered.

“You’ll just … know.” He kissed the back of her head. “I trust you.”

She closed her eyes, begging the tears to hold off as she held her breath and nodded once. Her body shook from the pounding in her chest, an earthquake of pain. Pain that was just too much.

A while later she felt his body relax around hers, so she slipped out of bed, dressed, and went home.

Jackson sat perched on a chair in front of his computer. He looked up.

“Downstairs,” she whispered.

He stared at her for a moment. Then he nodded.

After changing her clothes, she wrapped her hands and waited for Jackson. He gave her a sad smile as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He started to wrap his hands.

“I’ll fight back, I promise, but I need you to make me feel a different type of pain.”

They both slipped in their mouth guards.

He nodded. Before she could meet his eyes, he swung his leg around, knocking her to the floor. Tears flooded her eyes, but not from being knocked down.

“Get up,” he growled, his voice devoid of sympathy. Jackson knew what she needed, sometimes more than she did.

“Get the fuck up!”

She crawled to her feet, tears streaming down her face. He hit her again before she had a chance to react. Blood pooled along her lip.

“You feel that?” he asked. His voice grew louder with each word.

“Yes,” she gritted, brushing away her tears with her arms as her tongue licked the blood.

“Then show me.”

Her ragged breaths came quicker as anger seized her body and she attacked her brother, holding back nothing. She fought her past, beating the shit out of everything that took Luke away from her. She fought the asshole who had been messaging her, making her feel scared and weak, and then she fought the fucking cancer. She fought it through tears and blood. Jillian fought until she collapsed in Jackson’s arms. The tears ran dry and the pain numbed. One feeling remained: acceptance.

Chapter Six

Once again, Jackson witnessed his sister hitting rock bottom and crawling through her blood, sweat, and tears to surface again. After AJ saw the marks on her face the following day, he paid Jackson a visit—with his fist. Jillian broke up the fight before blood stained the carpet. With a scowl and a nod, both men declared a truce, although a silent one, and contingent on the other keeping his hands off her. A promise neither could really guarantee, because they were all a bit unpredictable.

Jillian jumped all in and went to AJ’s appointments, including getting second and third opinions. Jackson¸ content that his sister stood on her own feet again, counted down the days until Tuesday—the best day of the week.

“Hey.” Ryn smiled as he let her inside.

“AJ home today?” he asked to break the ice before suggesting sex or marriage.

“Yes. I was pretty shocked to hear that he retired from the air force. Honestly, I’ve worked for him for over five years, but I’ve rarely seen or talked to him. Yet he seemed … I don’t know, maybe a little depressed today.”

“Jillian will cheer him up after she gets home.”

“Oh … are they …”

“Yes, he’s screwing my sister. No, I don’t like it.”

Ryn looked away with a hint of discomfort in her expression. She took her bucket of supplies to the bathroom. “Is it because of the age difference?”

Jackson followed her. “No. It’s because she’s my sister and therefore no guy will ever be deserving of her.”

“She’s lucky. I’d love to have someone feel that protective of me.”

“Could you tell her that?”

Ryn laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure she doesn’t always think of it as a blessing. So … how old is she?”

“Thirty.”

“And you’re older?” Ryn tried to sound indifferent, but he saw through it.

Jackson smiled as she fished for his age. The age thing mattered to her.

“Yes. I’m older.”

Her smile grew with a look of relief.

“By seven minutes.”

That look of relief quickly faded. “Really, twins?”

“Yes. So how old are you?”

She tapped the toilet brush on the edge and returned it to the bucket. “That’s kind of a bold question. You know it’s not polite to ask a woman her age.”

“You asked Jillian’s.”

“Let me rephrase, it’s not polite for a man to ask a woman her age.”

“Sounds like a double standard.” He chuckled. “Besides, I’m a bold guy, so it’s fitting that I ask bold questions.”

Ryn cleaned the mirror, occasionally meeting his eyes through the reflection. “How old do you think I am?”

“I’m bold, not stupid, so I’m not answering that.”

“I’m in my thirties as well.” She rolled her lips between her teeth to contain her smile.

He felt bad for playing her, but he wanted her to think of him as a normal guy. Telling her that he’d already done a full background check on her would not get him past his celibacy phase. Women were sensitive about the whole invasion-of-privacy thing.

“Can I be honest with you?” he asked.

“Honesty’s good.”

“I told Jillian I’m interested in you.”

She gulped—loudly. Then her hands doubled their pace, working at record speed. Her eyes remained focused on her task. He enjoyed seeing her uncomfortable. It meant she was attracted to him.