Lucky’s warm lips planted another kiss on her neck.

“As you can imagine, I was knee deep in a pile of shit. There are some seriously messed up people out there. I had to find a way to be able to take care of myself. I was at one of my usual hangouts and happened to run into Jewella doing a private party. She was a different person back then. We hung out and talked for a while. She told me about Bottoms Up and how Mickey took on a few underage girls from time to time. As soon as I saw the guy she was dancing for fork over a pile of cash, I knew I would be down there the next day begging for a job.”

Baby picked up the glass from the nightstand and took a sip. Her throat was dry and her hands trembling. “As soon as Mickey saw me, I was in. Jewella showed me the ropes. Some of the other girls were nice, and others were straight up bitches. I was allowed to waitress before moving up to dancing. Well, when the night finally came, I thought I was literally going to die. I had a full-blown panic attack backstage. Jewella gave me a couple of pills to help take the edge off. I didn’t ask questions. I tossed them back with a glass of vodka. By the time I got on the stage, I was blitzed. I’d lost one shoe and slid down the pole, landing on my ass. I still made good tips, which is where the addiction began. As the nights went on, the better I got, and the money did too. I was hooked. I noticed Slade in the club over the first few weeks. He talked a lot with Mickey, was in and out of the office, but after about a month, he came in to watch the show. Said he’d heard about the new girl, and he tipped like a fucking rockstar.”

“You were addicted to the money?”

“Hell, yeah. You would be too if you’d gone your whole life with nothing. And the little bit you did have, was hung over your head.”

Lucky’s body moved from side to side under her weight. “I haven’t been put in that situation. I can’t say for sure. But money doesn’t mean as much to me as it does other people.”

“Says the Gauthier …”

His body stiffened. “That was a cheap shot.”

She looked up and gave him an apologetic smile. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Lucky pressed his lips to the top of her head. “It’s ok. I know this is tough, and I’m certainly not judging you. I really am trying to understand.”

“The money itself was like a drug. I have to be honest. I was enjoying my new life. Once Mickey asked me if I was interested in dancing for private parties, I only hesitated for a second. All I had to do was dance. The men were assholes and liked to get grab happy, but overall, it wasn’t too bad. We always had security. Slade was at every party. He was my biggest tipper. I knew he was starting to take an interest in me, but I didn’t think it would go anywhere.”

Baby squirmed, uneasy, readjusting herself between Lucky’s legs. How much did he want to know? She didn’t want to overshare and send him running for the hills. No one in their right mind would hang around after knowing the truth about the things she had done.

“Mickey approached me one night to let me know Slade wanted to take me on a date. Notice I didn’t say he asked. It was more like a formality. And in case it wasn’t obvious, date was code word for whatever the hell he wanted to do. Literally, whatever he wanted to do.”

Lucky’s heartbeat quickened, thumping hard against her back.

“Momma was having a hard time. I couldn’t afford to get her the help she needed on my own. She’d had a lot of episodes, but when she had that major breakdown when I was a kid, they dumped her in a shithole and ended her parental rights. When Mickey said as part of the deal, Slade would make sure my mother was taken care of, I said yes. They got her a room at Pecan Grove, which turned out to be the best place ever. I couldn’t imagine her anywhere else. Up until that point, I’d been doing recreational drugs. You know, weed and Xanax. Things to help me make it through the parties. But I knew that Slade meant business. It was bad.” Baby Jade’s voice cracked. “He made sure I had access to everything out there. I was drinking every day, playing around with new stuff, but as it turns out, coke became my happy place. Every time I turned around, it was in my face. Slade and I hooked up immediately. He paid good money to get what he wanted. Of course, I had to fork over the majority of it to Mickey as a finder’s fee.”

“What a douche,” Lucky growled.

“I’m not going to argue with you there, but the small amount I did get to keep I put away into savings. The parties became a nightly thing and ended up involving more people if you know what I’m saying. Slade liked to share what was his when he was feeling charitable. As it turned out, I was his.”

Baby sucked in a deep breath, holding it before exhaling slowly. “I’m disgusted when I think about the things I’ve done. It was easier to make sure I wasn’t able to remember. And Slade was all too happy to oblige. Sometimes I lost days, couldn’t remember a damn thing. I woke up next to strangers and immediately rolled over to do another line of coke. If I tried to say no or make up some excuse why I couldn’t party, Slade would knock me around, making sure to mark up my face, that way I couldn’t work at the club either. He cut me off at the knees. If something didn’t go his way, I was his punching bag. If he wanted to flex his power, he used me to do it. Simple as that.”

“I guess Mickey saw nothing but a paycheck.”

“Yeah, and an endless supply of whatever the girls needed, especially Jewella. I’m sure Mickey’s pimped her out as well, and now Lolli is Slade’s new favorite. It’s wearing her down. I can see it in her eyes.”

“By looking at Slade tonight, the relationship didn’t end well. How’d you get out?”

“I’m not sure I’m exactly out. I think that’s part of what you saw tonight. This has been a pattern. When I couldn’t take the scene anymore, I told Slade I was done. I was ready to take an ass beating, but he took it to the extreme. I couldn’t walk for two days. I drank my meals through a straw, not that I had much of an appetite.”

Lucky balled his fists, pumping them open and close until his veins looked like were ready to pop.

Baby picked up his arm and folded it across her chest, wrapping herself around his forearm, longing for the comfort and safety of having him close. “I didn’t care about me. I prayed he wouldn’t hurt the few people close to me. Phillipe ran in his circle. I was worried about Ma’Linn and, of course, Momma. He made life rough for a while, but I finally moved on. Mickey was pissed. He lost a lot of money. Slade took some of his anger out on the club.”

“Your mom?”

The tears streamed down her face, landing on Lucky’s arm. She imagined the ink smearing like a wet newspaper. “They quit paying for her room. She was going to be thrown out onto the streets, or worse, forced into a state funded institution.” She choked back the sob blocking her airway. “I couldn’t go through that again. I emptied out my savings account and paid for a year at Pecan Grove. Now I’m living off tips and trying to find a way to freeze time. When the end of the year comes, I don’t know what we’re going to do. Ma’Linn pays for her apartment on social security. It’s a big clusterfuck.”

Lucky’s chin rested on top of her head as his embrace tightened around her. “You don’t make life boring, that’s for sure.”

“Boring sounds pretty damn good right about now. Like I said, this fucked up cycle with Slade is a pattern and nobody knows it better than him. He knows how to get to me. Every few months I start to get weak. Every time I think I’m able to stay strong, he picks away at me, wearing me down. That’s what you saw tonight. He’s been working on me for a while now, and its right about this time I’d be giving in. I go on a binge and indulge in everything. I don’t know what happens. Slade starts leaving coke around. I usually toss it, but it gets harder and harder. I try to say no, but end up jumping in with both feet. I know it’s stupid.”