“Elliot, why did you wait so long to ask me out? I mean,” I said nervously, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I’m glad you did, but, now it’ll be really hard to see each other. We could have been doing this for weeks by now.”

   He turned the ignition off and turned to face me on the bench seat. “Can I ask you a question before I answer you?”

   I shrugged. “Sure.”

   “What’s your history with Devon?”

   His question caught me off guard and my head pulled back as my face contorted into a look of confusion. “What?”

   “Don’t get upset. It doesn’t matter to me, I’m just curious.”

   “I don’t have a history with Devon. He’s my best friend’s boyfriend.”

   His eyes were darting back and forth between mine as he was silent for a few moments. Then his thumb and forefinger came up to touch my chin, looking directly into my eyes, leaving me even more confused than before. When his hand fell away, his forefinger trailed down the front of my throat and my body immediately reacted, my breath shuddering. “Sometimes,” he started to say, his voice low, and then it looked like he changed his mind about his words. “Before, when you’d come around with Liv, it was obvious Devon and Liv were together, or, that he was interested in her.”

   “Yeah?” I urged him to continue.

   “But it also kind of seemed like you were into Devon.”

   “Oh,” was my response. Without thinking about it, I pulled back, putting a little distance between us.

   “If there’s nothing there, I totally believe you. But, before last night, I was never sure and I didn’t want to pursue you if it was going to be a waste of time.”

   My mind was racing, thoughts pinging back and forth inside my head, making me feel mentally dizzy. It never occurred to me that strangers would think that about me, that people who just observed me would think I was interested in Devon. When we’d first met, I’d been insanely attracted to him, hoped with almost embarrassingly frequency that we’d run into each other on campus and we’d laugh about our first meeting, then we’d fall in love and have a dream life together. The night I realized Liv was dating the guy who I’d met and been harboring a teenage crush on, for just a small moment, I was devastatingly jealous.

   But to think other people could see the feelings I thought I was hiding so well..., well, that made me nervous. I was sure the silly feelings I thought I had for him had been buried a while ago. Once he and Liv were a real thing, I had tried to turn it all off. I tried to ignore the way my eyes always found his form at a crowded party, ignored the way his hand always pressed into the small of my back when I went through a door ahead of him, and the way my heart reacted to his hand there. I was suddenly extremely nervous that not only Devon had noticed my not-so-well-hidden feelings, but Liv might have as well.

   “Elliot, listen, I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. There’s nothing going on between Devon and me. There never was.”

   He was quiet for a moment. “I’m glad for that, honestly, because I’d like to see what could develop between us. But, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t hung up on someone else before I got invested.”

   I shook my head, even though there was a tiny voice inside my head questioning the very idea. Was I hung up on Devon? I didn’t think so. Sure, he was cute and sweet. And he treated Liv so well. But it wasn’t anything more than a stupid crush. That was it. Not serious enough to turn Elliot away. “I’m not hung up on Devon,” I stated, with just the tiniest roll of my stomach that felt like betrayal.

   “Good,” he said as he smiled and leaned in toward me. “Because I’m pretty sure I’m gonna like getting hung up on you.” Then his lips were on mine again, sweet and slow, making my heart rate accelerate and my fingers ache to run through his hair.

   “I’d better go,” I said on an exhale as I pulled away minutes later. I watched his tongue dart out and lick his lips, as if he were trying to taste every last drop of me, and my breath caught in my throat.

   “Okay,” he said, sounding like he regretted it. “But let me see your phone first.” I smiled and handed him my cell, watching as he programmed his number in, and then called his own phone. “Expect to be hearing from me. Soon.” He said it with a grin as he handed my phone back to me.

   “Great.”

   “Yeah. Great.” He smirked then leaned in again, pressing a fast kiss against my lips, and then pulled away with a wink. I took Liv’s food and hopped down from the truck, giving Elliot my best smile as I shut the door. I turned, walking back to my dorm, hoping Liv hadn’t died of starvation, thinking about how excited I was to spend the summer getting to know Elliot.

Chapter Six

Present Day

   “Ruby, Jax, come on, time to wake up.”

   It had taken every ounce of strength I had to muster up the courage to come back to Devon’s house the next morning. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the image of Devon’s hand sliding over my belly, felt his lips on me, felt my body react to him in both lust and shock. I hated that my body liked his hands on me, wanted to feel them again, had secretly been longing for them for years. But I felt anger and guilt most, anger toward myself for feeling these things for my dead best friend’s husband.

   The children hadn’t stirred. “Ruby, Jax, time to get ready for school.” My voice sounded harsh and angry, even to me. Ruby stirred, groaning, but I had to shake Jax awake, gently moving his shoulder back and forth. “Come on, kiddo, let’s go.”

   “Auntie Evie?” I heard Ruby ask, her voice thick and gravelly with sleep.

   “Yeah?”

   “Last night you left before we finished my mummy.”

   My pulse thrummed through my veins, beating hard in my ears. “Yeah, sorry, Ruby. I had to go home.” I walked to Jax’s dresser, opening drawers, pulling clothes out for him, trying to keep myself busy so I didn’t have to look into the eyes of my best friend’s daughter.

   “Daddy said you weren’t feeling well. Do you feel better today?”

   “Yeah, baby.” I lied to a child.

   “Daddy wasn’t very good at making my mummy. He didn’t really know what he was doing.”

   “I’m sure it’s fine, Ruby. Come on, time to get dressed. Jax, you awake?”

   “Yeah,” his tiny voice rang out.

   “Okay, get up, kids. I’ll go get breakfast ready.”

   I walked down the stairs, hands trembling, heartbeat racing, knowing that in just minutes I’d be seeing Devon. I’d tossed and turned all night trying to come up with a good way to play this situation. Avoidance? Should I stay away forever? Denial? Should I pretend like nothing happened? The direct approach? Should I confront Devon and force us to talk about it?

   None of the options I came up with sounded like a good solid plan so, in the end, I decided just to follow his lead. Minutes later, as I was placing bowls of cereal on the table, I heard his footsteps on the stairs and I froze. Something that felt perfectly akin to fear ran through my veins like ice. I was petrified. Absolutely terrified to face him. I heard him make it all the way to the kitchen, then his footfalls stopped, and I knew he was stalled in the entrance, could feel his eyes on me.

   “Evelyn.” The fact that he used my full name might as well have been a knife right through my back. He never used my full name. Well, not usually. “I wasn’t expecting you to be here this morning.” The proverbial knife twisted counter-clockwise.

   “Well,” I managed, my voice only trembling slightly, “It’s a good thing I came, otherwise your children would probably have been late.”

   “Evie,” he sighed, and I heard two footsteps bring him closer. “I didn’t mean that to sound like I didn’t want you here.”