“I’m just gonna …” I mumble softly as I stumble to the door.

The house is eerily quiet as my footsteps echo through the room. The screeching of the screen door pierces the silence, making my ears nearly bleed. I grip the porch railing as I lower my heavy feet one by one down the steps. When Sara calls my name from the doorway, I turn and face her. I notice the pity in her eyes, and it doesn’t come close to matching the intense pain in my heart.

“I’ll stop by later, okay?” She gives me a sad smile and shrugs.

“No, it’s getting late, and I’ll be heading to bed soon,” I say, ignoring the setting sun warming my face, saying it’s way too early for bed. I call out a hasty goodbye as I run to my door and fumble with the lock.

Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up.

The key thankfully turns just as the first tear falls. I push through the door and slam it shut. I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping to keep the tears in and push out the image of Kimberly and Cain. My back slides down the door, and I lay my heavy head on my bent knees. The silent tears slide down my cheeks without much fanfare, as if my body refuses to give in to the act of crying. The tears may come, but I refuse to take part in them.

Car doors and laughter filter through the door, and I punish myself by picturing their cozy double date. Tubs of popcorn, shared sodas, a terrifying horror flick that will have Kimberly jumping into Cain’s lap. I smirk at the thought of her splitting her painted-on jeans or her pointy boob poking out Cain’s eye.

Eddie pads into the kitchen and winds her way through my legs, purring softly. I lower my knees and help her into my lap. She kneads her paws in my belly as the sound of vehicles fades into the distance.

“We’ll get through this, Eddie. I promise, we will,” I whisper, hoping I can convince myself in the process. “He deserves to be happy, even if it’s not with me.”

“Between the Lines” by Sara Bareilles

Present Day

INFECTIOUS GIGGLES FILL the kitchen as I wrangle Lily and Gage and fill the silver platter with mini quiches. A flustered Adam takes in the hectic scene with frantic eyes. Lily tugs the furry tail peeking out of Gage’s dress pants, and he pulls the ribbon of her dress, trying to unravel her perfectly tied pink bow. Dressed impeccably for the special night, they remind me of mischievous angels.

“You got this, Celia? Everything has to be perfect.” His nerves are radiating off him, turning the cheerful tone of the room.

I pull a peony out of the crystal vase on the edge of the counter and slap him on the head without ever looking up from my task.

“What the hell?”

“I’m trying to knock some sense into you, you big dummy. Sara loves you and these two little hellions,” I say, pointing at Lily and Gage stealing chocolates off the dessert platter. Adam swipes at them, causing another round of giggles. He grabs a wet washcloth off the counter and bends down to wipe sticky fingers before they stain their new clothes. I smile at the sweet chaos of it all. “Let go of perfect and just be you. She’ll love it.”

Adam stands up and kisses the top of my head. “You’re right. It wouldn’t be us if at least part of dinner didn’t end up on the floor,” he says with a laugh.

Adam enlisted my help last month, determined to give Sara the perfect proposal. I’ve searched high and low for the best food and flowers. He brought Marlo and me ring shopping. Even Marlo’s jaded view of love couldn’t ruin the magic of it all. We may have even made a tiny chip in her armor of steel.

If Adam waits one more day to pop the question, Sara may spontaneously combust. Her patience ran out long ago, and, at this point, I think she’d be happy if he just tossed the ring box in her lap. She’s more interested in starting happily ever after than the production it takes to get there.

A quick knock on the front door makes Adam’s eyes go wide. Sara’s voice fills the house as we all freeze in excitement … anticipation…

“Adam, where are you? What’s with the mysterious note?”

Adam’s lips turn up into a giant smile, and he high-fives Lily and Gage as they jump up and down excitedly.

“Showtime!” he whispers, his voice laced with forever.

I place the decadent cupcake on the crystal plate and dust everything with edible glitter. Marlo thought of everything when given the task of making the perfect dessert for tonight. Lavender cupcakes with candied petals strategically placed on top a mound of honey frosting. I hand the first plate to Lily, and she nods solemnly as she walks slowly into the dining room, the cupcake teetering dangerously. I turn around to hand Gage the other cupcake just as he pops a candied petal into his mouth.

“It’s good,” he mumbles, as he chews his stolen treat, not one ounce of guilt showing on his face.

I giggle as I rustle his perfectly coifed hair. He pulls back, scowling as he molds his faux-hawk back into place. Like father, like son.

“No stealing, little man. Marlo made Sm’oreo cupcakes for you and Lily. You can have them a little later tonight with that plate of chocolates.”

“Yes!” he says with a tiny dude fist pump.

I hand Gage the dessert plate, and he follows after Lily to the dining room. I peek through the door just in time to see Lily placing her tiara on Sara’s bent head. For those of us who know Lily, there is no greater seal of approval. Lily sharing her princess status is huge.

Tiny feet hustle back to the kitchen and grab onto my legs, peeking around into the dining room.

“This is it, right, Aunt Cece?” Lily’s eyes dance with excitement, and Gage squeezes my leg tighter.

“Yes, my sweet girl, this is it. Now shh,” I whisper with a finger to my lips.

The house is filled with electrified silence—the only sound the clanging of metal and crystal. I chance a look, and my heart fills to the brim at the adoration radiating from Adam as he watches Sara. He’s truly found his match.

He inches his chair closer to hers and reaches out. His thumb runs over her ribcage as he whispers, “I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart.”

She leans into him. “I fear no fate for you are my fate, my sweet,” she murmurs against his lips.

I smile at their exchange, knowing E.E. Cummings’s words are tattooed on each of their ribcages. We all swooned as Sara told us the story at one of our girls’ lunches.

His mouth covers hers, and their bodies relax together on a heated sigh. I cover Lily and Gage’s mouths to muffle their snickering.

Adam rests his head on Sara’s, a small smile playing on his lips. “You know, Cummings wrote verses in between those two lines.”

“He did, didn’t he? I forget what they are…”

“’I am never without it. Anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling.’ I’ve rolled those verses over in my head a million times this week. They’re inked on my skin and etched on my heart … because of you.”

“I love you so much.” Her words release on a ragged breath, emotion radiating from her every pore.

Adam’s thumb brushes across her cheek as he lightly kisses her and pulls away. “I’ve had my fair share of dark and hard in my life, but loving you and the kids is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. And I want to do it every day, for the rest of my life.”