Short, bursts of breath and fisted sheets are her only response, so I continue my journey down. I lick the hollow of her belly button and grab her hips, holding her body still. I run my nose down the center of her silk panties, inhaling her want and desire.

“Wait, Cain, wait,” she stutters as she frantically grabs my hands and pushes back into the headboard.

I’m back up the bed in an instant, framing her face, holding her close. “What is it, Celia? Did I do something wrong?”

“God, no. It’s just that … well, I need to tell you that…” Her eyes dart everywhere but my face, and she huffs in frustration.

I brush her hair off her forehead and smile. “Tink, you know you can tell me anything. And if you want to stop, we stop. I—”

“Don’t stop!” she shouts. She slams her hands over her mouth, holding in an embarrassed giggle. “Sorry. But I don’t want to stop. I-I just need you to know it’s been awhile since, well, you know…”

“Is that all? It’s been awhile for me, too.”

“No, you don’t understand what I’m saying. I mean it’s been awhile. Like,” she leans in to my ear and whispers softly, “Years. Lots of them.”

Her eyes are wide, and her expression wincing, like she’s afraid I’m about to bolt from the room at her confession. Little does she know, this little nugget of knowledge makes her even more irresistible.

“It may not be quite that long for me, but if you think anything in my past has prepared me for this—for you—you’re crazy. I’ve never….” I kiss and lick my way back down her body. “Had anyone affect me…” I run my tongue along the seam of her panties and hook my fingers under the fabric. “The way you do.” I tug the dampened silk slowly down her legs. “So, if you think about it that way, it’s been longer than awhile for me. It’s been forever.”

When my tongue swipes hungrily through her soaked lips, her back arches, her body squirms, and a low growl releases from her lips as her fingers thread through my hair. The taste of her is intoxicating, like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I lick, I kiss, I drive my tongue inside her. I fucking love the feel of her clenched fingers pulling my hair, her frenzied cries filling the room with each suck, nip, and bite I deliver. The sound of my name erupting from her lips as she falls apart under my tongue is most erotic song I’ve ever heard.

My jeans fly off my body in an instant, and I slide a condom out of my wallet. I settle between her legs, and she spreads wider for me. I watch her come down, flushed cheeks, lowered lids, parted lips panting softly, and I’m in awe of her. I’m humbled to be lying next to someone so exquisite.

“Say it again.” I drop my forehead to hers.

“Yes, Cain, yes,” she whispers softly.

I crush my mouth to hers, swallowing her lingering sigh.

“Yes.”

I slide my tip through her wet folds.

“Yes.”

I push gently at her entrance and watch her eyes close in ecstasy.

“Eyes on me.”

Her stormy blues meet my gaze, and I drive into her in one fluid thrust. It’s unimaginable pleasure, pure fucking bliss, and I close my eyes at the enormity of it all.

Because I’m pretty sure it feels like falling.

Moments pass in charged silence while I stay buried deep inside of her, unmoving. My eyes open slowly, and the sight of her is a delicious punch in the chest, gripping my heart. My body takes over while my soul is still stuttering with emotion. I plunge into her, her body moving in time with mine. Her nails bite into my ass, spurring me on—faster, harder, deeper.

Celia pulls my lips to hers and drives her tongue into my mouth, matching the rhythm of my cock. “Cain?” she whispers, smiling against my lips. “I wanna ride you.”

Those sexy-as-fuck words rolling off her tongue ignite me, and mischief dances in her eyes. I flip her in an instant, never breaking rhythm.

“Oh,” she rasps, as I drive in deeper at this new angle.

Watching her body roll with mine, beautiful curves, parted lips, sweaty skin flushed with desire, the erotic sight of my cock sliding in and out at a tortuous pace, it’s almost too much.

It won’t ever be enough.

She watches as I swipe my thumb across my tongue and brush lightly against her clit, then throws her head back and moans.

“Yes,” she cries, her pace quickening.

“Yes?”

I apply more pressure, circling, pushing, and pinching as she falls over the cliff. She weeps indistinguishable words and lustful cries as she contracts around me. I grip her hips and drive upward at a punishing pace. Another wave rolls through her body, and my desire almost reaches the point of pain as I erupt. I can’t get close enough, deep enough, as I pound out my pleasure.

Her sated and weakened body falls to my chest, my cock still pulsing deep inside her. A contented sigh leaves her lips as she lays her cheek to my heart, and her fingers dance lazily on my chest. Her hand moves over my heart, close to her lips. Her mouth curves into a sweet smile as she taps lightly, mimicking the rhythm of my heart.

I run a finger up her spine and neck, over her cheek, and press it lightly to her swollen lips. A single thought rolls through my mind—the only truth I know deep in my soul.

It beats for you.

“Free of Me” by Joshua Radin

The Past

“I’M NOT GOING. He can’t make me go,” Lucas says, turning his back to me and scribbling furiously in his notebook.

“It’s only a few nights, Lucas. You can do this. I know you can.” Before I get all of the words out, he’s already shaking his head.

I sigh in frustration and pinch the bridge of my nose. The Landrys are leaving in the morning for Alabama. Their annual family reunion is in Gulf Shores this year, and they’re going to stop at Ole Miss to pick up Audrey. She left for the summer session a week ago, and her mom is dying to see her new dorm and campus.

Lucas is not going, or so he says. His parents won’t hear of it, and I’ve begged, bargained, and I’m not above stealing, to make it happen. There is no safer place for Lucas than in a hotel room, sleeping in a bed right next to his parents. He’s got to go with them.

These past few weeks, following his botched suicide attempt, have been grueling. I spend each day watching his every move, dissecting his words for any hint of negative thoughts. I spent every night with Audrey until the day she left for Ole Miss, staying with Lucas until he was safely sleeping, keeping alert through the night for any noises from his room. After she left, I stayed with Lucas as long as possible each night, before crossing the street and peeking at his bedroom window all night.

I’ve never been so exhausted in my entire life.

“No, I have things to do here. Important things,” he says in a monotone voice, his eyes never leaving the paper.

“Lucas—”

He shuts his eyes and runs his hands down his face in frustration. “You know I can’t do it. The crowds, the noise, being away from my room … my things. They’ll know.” He turns to me with pleading eyes. “They’ll send me away.”

“I don’t want to argue, Lucas. I’m trying here. I’m doing everything I can—”

“I know, Celia. God, I know.” His head falls into his hands, and he grips his hair. “I’m killing you, and I hate it. I have no right to do this to you … no right to live this life … to take yours away. I need to be a man. To do what needs to be done.” He launches out of the chair and paces the room.

I grab his hand, and he rips it away. “What are you talking about? What do you mean?”

He stops, his back facing me and his head lowered in defeat. His fists clench and unclench as his shoulders rise with each breath. He turns around slowly and drops to his knees in front of me. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to scare you. I’m going to figure this out for us, Celia.”