“Holly,” he calls before I get too far away. “I’m serious. I’ll give you that play, but after that,” he points at Nix dropping down to one knee, “we will talk.” I don’t reply. I just stare as my best friend stands awkwardly while Nix proposes marriage in the middle of the clubhouse.

“You okay, girly?” Mr. Turner asks when I walk over to where Kadence’s parents watch on.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you?” I ask, nodding as Nix drags Kadence, his new fiancée, through the crowd.

“He’s good people. He wouldn’t ask her if he didn’t have every intention of making my girl happy,” he says, reaching over, hooking Kadence’s mom around the waist, and pulling her close to him.

“He is good people,” I agree. “The whole club is.” Hell, if it weren’t for them, Kadence nor I would be here right now. Even if I have pushed these people away, I know they saved me and I have them to thank.

“Come on. Let's go congratulate our girl.” He pulls me out of my thoughts.

“You go. I’ll wait,” I say, pointing to the bar, eager to have a drink. The line to congratulate the couple is already ten-people deep. I’d rather try to relax myself before trying to fake happiness.

“Okay, save a drink for me. You and me have got some catching up to do,” he says, turning back to see his daughter. I walk back a few steps watching them go and when my back meets with the bar, I turn, ready for a distraction.

“Hey, Hunter. I need you to get me drunk,” I say, pointing to the bottle of whiskey, catching the young prospect off guard. “Start me off at two and keep them coming,” I boss him. He smiles and places a glass in front of me. I watch as he fills it with an amber-colored liquid, and when he’s done, I pick it up, tip my head and throw it back. Slamming the glass down to the bar, I take a second and repeat the action.

“Whoa there,” he says, watching me carefully.

“Another,” I demand, ignoring his concern. He raises his brows, but I raise mine back, letting him know I mean business. He shrugs and fills my glass back up.

“Good, now keep them coming,” I say, watching him shake his head in laughter.

“You got a broken heart, Holly?” he asks, leaning over the bar.

“What?” I’m thrown by his question.

“People only drink like that if they have a broken heart.” He shrugs, thinking he has me worked out.

“What do you know about a broken heart? Do you even have a girlfriend?” I rudely ask.

“No, why? You offering?” he jokes and I laugh, the noise sounding foreign to me. I haven’t laughed in such a long time I forgot how great it felt.

“You wish.” I shake my head at him. He might be cute with his dark features and great body, but he’s just a kid. Besides, I wouldn’t go there. One pissed-off biker is already enough to handle.

“Yeah, that’s one wish you’re not getting.” Kelly, Brooks’ wife, comes up and flicks Hunter’s ear. “How are you, Holly?” she asks, smiling across at me.

“Good,” I lie, because who wants the truth? No, I’m not fine. I’m a fucking mess and just pretending everything is fine.

“I love the new do,” she compliments me and inside I cringe. I don’t know why I cut it and changed the color. I blame it on one of my famous rash decisions.

“Thanks,” I fake smile. “So, good news about Kadence and Nix.” I move the conversation off me and onto something else that won’t make me want to break down.

“It is. I can’t believe the Prez is settling down.” She shakes her head, looking over as Nix and Kadence talk with her mom and dad. “You’ll be next.” She winks and I laugh. Only this time it’s forced. I turn to Hunter giving him the nod.

“Another one, Hunter,” I say, ignoring the look passed between them. This is what I need; something to stop the pain and help me pretend. ‘Cause I sure as hell need to tonight.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Sy

It’s her laugh that lets me know she’s outside. Not that it’s her usual happy laugh that I once remember. The one that no matter how many times I told myself I hated listening to, it would still bring me some kind of peace. Like for once in my fucked-up situation, I could see some light. No, this laugh was something else. A mask hiding her pain. She thinks no one can see it; see the hurt she hides behind, but to me it stands out, screaming for someone to take it all away. If only I weren't so fucked up, maybe I could help her.

“Hey brother, you sort out the front gate?” Brooks asks, coming to stand next to me on the threshold of the back door. I just did a check after seeing Nix and Kadence off. We might have had Gunner sorted out, but we’re still keeping our eyes open. Since the girls have been home, we’ve had eyes on them every day. I’ve kept my distance from Holly at her mom’s request, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been watching.

“Yep, all good on my end,” I reply, scanning for who’s left tonight and how much trouble Holly can get herself into. Most of the party has broken up, and now the Friday night crowd’s starting to settle in for a weekend of booze and pussy.

“You gonna go sort that out anytime soon?” he asks, and he doesn’t have to say her name for me to know who and what he’s talking about.

“Getting there,” I tell him, turning back to watch her plant her ass down on the runt's lap. She started drinking after our little talk and I haven’t had a chance to get her alone. Once everyone said their congratulations, she never left Kadence’s side. But now that her bulldog-protector best friend has gone home, I’ve got an opening.

“She’s so far in her own head, I don’t think she realizes we can see past it all,” I say, turning back to him. I know I have no claim to her, but at the same time, just the thought of her pert ass sitting on Hunter’s lap has me grinding my teeth.

“She’s still dealing. I get it. We’ve all been there, been watching you do it for the last few years,” he says, taking a pull of beer.

I ignore his dig at me, but agree with him about her. Thinking back to the first time I met her, walking into the shop drunk and throwing her attitude around. She might think she has everyone fooled, but I know she’s not the same person.

“Two different things, but I’ll give you that,” I tell him, not prepared to get into sharing.

“Might be, but her way of coping is no different than what you do," he says, telling me what I already know. I do know, fuck. I live with that shit every day, but seeing her live through the shit she’s hiding is getting old. Fast.

“Sy, can you help me with her? She’s completely off her face,” Kelly asks, looking over at Holly as she throws back another shot.

“Yep,” I say, ready to end this shit now.

“Sunshine,” Holly cheers from Hunter’s lap, jumping up and down as I stalk toward her. I ignore her name for me, pissed she would use it now, and even more pissed it stirs something in me.

“Keep those fucking hands to yourself, asshole,” I tell the runt. My tone leaves no room for argument, but for extra measure, I level my stare at him. He nods, swallowing obviously and keeping his hands up.

“She just sat down,” Hunter says in his defense, but I don’t give a fuck.

“Sy, why have you got to be so cranky all the time?” she asks, looking up at me. Her glassy eyes shine with a playfulness I haven’t seen in a long time.

“Come on. Let’s go.” Taking one of her wrists in my hand, I pull her off him.

“Ooh, where are we going?” she asks, leaning into me. “Are you going to take me back to your room?” she whispers into my ear, her warm voice spreads through me. I try not to let it affect me. She’s so far gone; she would never act like this sober. Instead, I march her ass inside, away from all the fucks looking at her like they want a piece.

“Sy, take me to your room,” she tries again, this time pulling out of my hold.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I ask, taking her arm back and pulling her into the kitchen.