“So, Holly,” Jesse smiles and my body tenses at her name. He laughs when he gets a reaction out of me. “What’s the deal?”

“No fucking deal.” I act indifferent while inside my body is humming at the sound of her name.

“Didn’t look like no deal when you were finger fucking her last time she was here,” he jokes and I move fast, bringing him up by the scruff of his shirt, and banging him back up against the wall.

“You didn’t see anything, asshole,” I threaten, feeling a fierce protectiveness over Holly and what the fucker is saying.

“Okay, okay. Calm down,” he says, still smiling. “Jesus, Sy. You’re a fucking goner.” He shakes his head watching me come down from my freak-out.

I stand for a few minutes taking in his words. I don’t want to admit it, but he’s right. I’m fucked. The woman has had my head messed up for the good part of a month and a half now. I’m completely lost and have no fucking clue how to react to it.

“Shut up,” I finally respond, sitting back down.

“You’re not going to get very far with that attitude,” he puts in, giving me his opinion.

“I don’t need to get very far, Jesse. I’m not fucking interested,” I lie. I’ve been lost in the same lie for the last few weeks. I am interested and fuck me if that ain’t the worst truth ever.

“Keep telling yourself that. When you need help, come see me.”

“I won’t be coming to you for advice,” I scoff.

“Why not?” he asks, sounding offended. I simply look at him. The man is a player. I can never see him settling down. Besides, I’m not looking to settle down, but he’s right. Holly does have me twisted, but that’s all there is to it. Right?

“What? I’m serious,” he pushes me as my phone rings from beside me. I ignore him and answer on the second ring.

“Sy,” her voice whispers down the line and instantly I’m on alert. Why would Holly be calling me and why does she sound scared?

“Holly?” I ask, coming out of my chair.

“Help us,” she says over the sound of a moving car. My blood runs cold and my heart rate picks up.

“Where are you?” I ask, snapping my fingers to get Jesse’s attention. He stands, reading my body language.

“Zane grabbed us coming out of the theater in town. Brooks is hurt I think,” she adds.

“Are you hurt?” I question, not wanting to know the answer.

“I’m okay, but Kadence isn’t. He knocked her out and I can’t get her to stay awake.”

“Do you know where you are?”

“No, I only know we turned left out of the back entrance of the parking lot.” She takes a shaky breath.

“Fuck, okay. I need you to hang on for a minute while we get the boys on this, okay?” I ask, walking inside the clubhouse, ready to round up all our available men.

“Okay, Sy,” she says quietly. I have to give it to her, she sounds scared, but she has her shit sorted.

“Hold on. I’m still here,” I reassure her, trying to keep her calm while my body hums with adrenalin.

“Jesse, try to get Brooks on the phone. Hunter, get to the theater.” I start barking orders out as the clubhouse comes to life with the stress of it all.

“Holly?” I ask when I hear a shout in the background.

“Yeah?” she says quietly.

“What’s happening?”

“I don’t know. We’re still driving.”

“Can you see anything out the windows? Know which way you could be going?”

“No, I lost count of how many turns we did. Kadence keeps coming in and out of it. I’ve been trying to keep her calm.”

“Okay, sweetheart, we got everyone on this. Hang tight. We’re on our way,” I assure her, even though I have no fucking idea where she is.

“Hurry, Sy,” she whispers, her fear coming down the phone and hitting me like a punch to the face.

“I’m coming and that motherfucking asshole is dead,” I promise her, meaning every word of it.

She doesn’t say anything, her silence telling me enough.

***

“Are we sure they’re in here?” I ask Chip, one of T’s men, when we pull up at the front of the old barn about thirty miles outside of town. With no idea how to find the girls, we called in a marker with our rival club, Warriors of Mayhem. Where the Knights Rebels run a clean club, the Warriors run it dirty. I don’t like the fuckers, but with Nix still thirty minutes out and both Holly and Kadence in danger, I have to trust them. T set us up with all the information we needed to get to the girls. Information that’s led us to here.

“Yeah, we have guys around the perimeter,” he says, walking around the van to get to the side. We follow quietly, keeping ourselves hidden. “We’ll go in, see what we’re up against and sort it out. T wants Gunner.”

“We don’t even know if Gunner is in there,” Jesse says, coming up behind me.

“We’re taking that chance,” Chip cuts him off.

“I don’t want fucking chances. He has two of our women in there, about to do who knows what. I fucking want him,” I growl, my control slipping. I just need to get to her and worry about Gunner later.

“It’s our recon and we’ll run it the way we want to,” he repeats, not stepping down. I look him over, sizing him up, seeing if I can take him. He has about two inches on me, but what I lack in height, I make up for in size. I could take the fucker. He holds my stare, but I don’t give a fuck. If I have to walk in and kill Zane with my own hands, I will.

“Sy, step back,” Jesse insists stepping between us. “You’re too close.” I know he’s right, but I don’t give a fuck what anyone says. I’m going in with or without them.

“I’m in. End of story,” I say, leaving no room for argument.

“Just let us secure the perimeter, and then we can move,” Chip says finally, agreeing to my play. I don’t have a moment to agree before a gunshot rings throughout the quiet night. Racing forward, I don’t care about the consequences. When I hear Kadence scream Holly’s name, I know I have to get in there.

“Sy,” Jesse calls quietly after me, but all I see is red. The asshole is dead. I’m gonna fucking kill him.

Kicking the door open, my eyes search the small area and go straight to Holly. Sitting against the wall, her hands cover her stomach. My gut tightens and something I haven’t felt in a long time ignites in me. Rushing forward, my gun goes straight to the asshole leaning over her. The bullet goes straight through his skull, but I don’t have a minute to register I just killed a man. I fall at her side and watch as she struggles for air.

“Holly,” I shout and shake her to make her open her eyes. My mind is running all over the place. I can’t lose her, not when I only just figured out I want her.

“Lay her flat and put pressure on the gunshot wound,” Jesse instructs while holding Kadence’s body over his lap. Fuck, when did he get here? Everything runs in slow motion. The commotion around us ceases to exist as I sit here watching all life leave her body.

“Holly!” I shout, pressing into the wound. “She’s not breathing,” I choke out, as panic seeps through me.

“Start compressions,” he says calmly. How the hell he can he be so calm while I’m freaking out?

“Holly,” I plead, pumping her chest eight counts before blowing my breath into her body. “Don’t you die,” I yell between breaths, remembering the feeling of loss and never wanting to have to live through it again.

“Don’t you dare die.” The words repeat over, and over as I pump her heart, begging it to start. “Don’t you dare die…”

CHAPTER NINE

Holly

“Don’t you dare die,” Sy’s panic-laced words play over in my head. Die? What does it mean to die? Would the pain and the emptiness growing inside of me cease to exist? Would death be better? I wished the darkness that had crept behind my eyes in that old barn would come back to me and blanket me. I want to cry, to scream, but my throat is numb, my heart heavy and belly vacant.