I didn’t give a damn about anyone else, either.
I was okay with that, too.
Tossing back the last of my drink, I watched her shake her ass as she danced. So did at least half of the other men in the room with me, including the man she’d welcomed moments before. I didn’t blame them. I’d never seen a woman move so gracefully, innocence mixed with a soft sensuality.
Granted, it had admittedly been a long time since I watched a woman dance. Most of my last seven years had been spent overseas, fighting for home and country. The army had sent me home after an injury, and now…
Now I was back in the outskirts of Arlington, Virginia, hiding the fact that I was back in suburban hell from my family. Walt had no idea I was home, and neither did my mother. I’d hidden it, but truth be told, they weren’t exactly chomping at the bit to see me. When Walt told me to get the hell out, he’d meant it. The plan to turn me into his prodigal son had been dropped, and he hadn’t spoken to me again.
Good riddance, I say.
Seven years hadn’t changed my opinion about the man.
I was positioned here temporarily, working on recruiting duty while the army docs made sure I was still whole in the head. Turned out, I was. Now I needed to plan my next move in the ranks, and it would involve a desk job instead of battles in a hot-ass desert. I wasn’t fighting anymore. I wasn’t protecting my country and the people in it.
My life no longer had meaning.
After spending my adult life as a soldier, it was all I knew. Fighting. Pride. Survival. War. One bad night and a poorly timed shot had ruined it all. Had taken me down. And I hadn’t really gotten back up yet. But I was trying.
I was figuring my shit out.
I turned so only the bartender was at my back, instead of the whole room full of people. I might be out of the war zone, and I might know I was safe here, but I still didn’t like having people at my back. Whereas Lilly looked so free. So unworried about life.
I had no idea what that felt like anymore.
The years had been kind to her. She was slim, but not too much so. She had curves in all the right places, and she just sort of vibrated with energetic life. She always had, even as a teenager. It had been a while since I felt alive at all, so maybe it was that eternal light of hers that drew me in. Just like the memories of what we’d once been to each other did. Christ, I’d missed her….
Which was why I should’ve turned around and gotten out before she saw me.
Nothing had changed. She still didn’t need me in her life.
My vision blurred, and I squinted so I could focus on Lilly better. The whole room spun wildly, which wasn’t a good sign for tomorrow morning, but what the hell. Wouldn’t be the first time I drank too much, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. I drank a lot nowadays.
Anything to dull the pain of losing my career due to an insurgent’s good aim.
Some preppy little asshole bounced into me, knocking me off balance as I precariously sat on the barstool. He glared at me, but I ignored him because I could have him bleeding and unconscious on the floor in two seconds. I wasn’t looking for an easy fight. Not tonight. Not after Lilly had awoken the need inside me that I usually ignored.
I’d rather find a sweeter escape.
Too bad the only woman in this room I wanted was her.
If I went up to her, would she even recognize me? I sure as hell didn’t look like I had at eighteen. For starters, I had tattoos, muscles, and a few new scars. Seen and done shit that no man should ever have to see or do.
I was a different man from the boy she once knew.
Was she the same girl I kissed by the pool?
The man who’d bumped into me earlier shoved past me again and walked right up to Lilly. He tapped her on the shoulder, and she looked at him. After a few words, she shook her head and twisted away from him, her shoulders stiff.
The douche had been dismissed.
He didn’t take the hint, though.
Instead, he leaned in, grabbed her shoulder. She spun on him, scowling, and spoke again, her arms flying animatedly. The jerk still didn’t back off. If anything, he crowded her even more, laying his hands on her where they were obviously not welcome.
Well, shit.
The dude had taken the one road I couldn’t abide. Being a dickhead to a lady. I might be a jerk, and Lilly might be a grown-ass woman who could fight her own battles, but men shouldn’t treat women like that. Period. Someone needed to teach this dude a lesson.
And that someone would be me.
The man grabbed her arm roughly, shaking her, and I stood. Rage, pure, unadulterated rage, hit me in the chest. No one touched her like that and got away with it, damn it. That protective instinct I’d tried to bury seven years ago arose like it had never left me, like it was a dormant reaction that only came alive for her—like I was only alive if I was with her.
Fists at the ready, I made my way to her side. Lilly saw me coming before I reached her, and relief filled her bright green eyes. To be honest, I had no idea why. She had no way of knowing I was coming to her rescue, no reason to even think I would.
She shouldn’t be so trusting.
Someone needed to teach her that, too.
As I walked closer, I heard the tail end of their conversation. “And I’m not your property.”
The douche grabbed her arm way too tightly. “Yeah, you are, because you’re mine. You became mine the moment you were born. And you know it as well as I do.”
I stiffened. She wasn’t this asshole’s property. Who the hell did he think he was, anyway? I tapped the douche on the shoulder. “Psst. Jackass.”
He spun, face red, and said, “What?”
Hauling my fist back, I smiled and let it fly. I hadn’t even been planning on starting a fight—not really—but after I’d heard him speak…well, it had been inevitable.
Assholes pissed me off.
Probably because I was one, too.
The man fell backward, a hand clamped over his now-bleeding nose. He lowered it, blinking down at the red fluid as if he’d never seen blood before. Hell, he probably hadn’t. He wore the preppiest outfit I’d ever had the displeasure to see, and a pair of lame khakis. The kind with pleats in front. Fucking pleats.
Lowering his hand, Preppy Prick scowled and launched himself at me.
We fell to the floor in a tangle of flying fists and grunting, and as much of a pansy ass as he might be, he got one solid punch in. His fist connected, and my teeth tore into my cheek from the force of the blow.
The metallic taste of blood touched my tongue, and I lost it.
Growling, I regrouped and got three solid punches in before someone dragged me off him. I gingerly ran my tongue over the gash, grinning and laughing as the fool struggled to get to his feet. It had been a while since someone managed to get a hand on me, and it felt good. Welcome, even.
Fighting felt good.
“Who started it?” the man behind me asked. I knew that voice. It was Tyler, the owner of the bar, and a good friend of mine as well as a combat brother. “What happened?”
“Who do you think started it? Look at us.” Preppy Prick pointed at me with a shaking finger. “It was him.”
Tyler held me even tighter. “Of course.”
I purposely avoided looking at Lilly and remained quiet.
Being this close to her, and not knowing if she recognized me, not being able to touch her, was almost as hard as it had been for me to read her love letters and not write back. To set her free with my silence. And that had been the hardest thing I’d ever done.
She stepped forward, pale and trembling. “He—He was trying to help, I think. I’m—”
The longer I stood there, in front of her, the more opportunity I gave her to figure out who I was. And if she found out I was home, she would run back to her father and my mother and tell them I was here. This needed to end, now. “It doesn’t matter why I did it. I’m done now,” I called out. I didn’t bother to fight the hold. “I’m done,” I repeated.