He nods, throwing his arm over my shoulder. “You’re going to be a great mom.”

I smile, thinking that in a matter of months, I will definitely be someone’s mom. It’s scary and exciting at the same time. “I have a feeling this baby might love Daddy even more. I don’t think he or she will have to work hard to have you wrapped around their finger.”

Blake is a little tough—little arrogant—but under it all, he knows how to love better than anyone I’ve ever met. He shows it differently than most. He doesn’t shout it from the rooftops or make grand gestures. Blake loves like only Blake can. It’s my favorite love.

“Lila?” the nurse asks, perching the door open with her foot.

I pick up my purse and walk toward her, feeling Blake’s hand at the small of my back.

“Good morning,” she says as we walk in. “We’re going to start by getting your height and weight then I’ll need you to use the bathroom before the doctor comes in to see you.”

Blake stands by for my weight and height, which doesn’t bother me a bit.

She picks my purse up from the floor, handing it to Blake. “I’m going to bring you to room 3 while she goes to give her sample. She’ll join you in just a couple minutes.”

He squeezes my hand before we go our separate directions. The nurse hands me a cup, and I lock myself in the bathroom, easily filling it and tucking it behind the metal door. I wash my hands and find room 3—my Blake. At times, I still can’t believe he’s here until I actually see him.

“How’d it go?” he asks, wrapping his arm around my shoulders when I take the seat next to him. His knees still bounce nervously as his fingertips tap along my shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

“Just nervous, you know? I just want everything to be okay.” He bites down on his thumb.

“It’s—”

There’s a quick knock at the door before Dr. Phelps walks in. She’s cut her hair, but other than that, she’s the exact same as she was a year ago.

“Well, Lila,” she announces. “You are definitely pregnant. Congratulations.”

My eyes well when I look at Blake whose face has relaxed from just a couple minutes ago. There really is a baby in there.

The doctor takes the stool next to me, typing in the computer. “Do you remember when your last period was?” she asks.

I shake my head. I’ve never been one to mark it on my calendar and since they are so irregular, it’s not like I can just count back.

“What I’d like to do then today is an ultrasound to determine how far along you are. Lay up on the table so I can take a look at your stomach then I’ll have the nurse walk you down to radiology.”

Blake watches as she positions me, and gently presses against my abdomen. “Do most women know they’re pregnant before they take a test?” he asks.

Dr. Phelps smiles down at me. “Of course. That’s why most women buy the tests before they even call the doctor. There are very few who I’ve broken the news to.”

“How far along are they when they usually figure it out?”

She looks at me curiously, but answers anyway. “Generally anywhere from four to eight weeks. It all depends on the regularity of their cycles and how their body adjusts to the increased hormones.”

I turn my head to look at him; he looks so pale. My mind wanders, and it hits me that if I’m any further than six weeks along, the baby could be Pierce’s. If it’s going through my head, it must be hammering into his.

“Okay, Lila, let’s get you down to radiology.” She turns to Blake, holding her hand out. “I’m sorry, but I forgot to ask your name.”

“Blake,” he says quietly, accepting her hand.

“I’m assuming you’re the father. Congratulations,” Dr. Phelps says.

He simply nods as he looks past her to me. There’s question in his eyes, mixed with a pain I’ve seen a few times before. It’s the look he often has before he runs.

“Follow me,” Dr. Phelps instructs, motioning to the door. If she picks up on the tension in the room, she doesn’t say it.

I follow the doctor, and Blake stays behind me. His mood changed quickly; I’m used to that, but not here. Not when I need him now more than I ever have, and even if this baby is Pierce’s, it wouldn’t change how I feel.

Blake is it. He’s the one I want to spend forever with.

The doctor hands me a gown. “Take everything off from the waist down. We have to us the transvaginal ultrasound this early to detect the baby.”

The door closes, and I quickly undress and pull the gown on oblivious to Blake. My teeth chatter as I lay on the table waiting for the ultrasound. The room isn’t cold, but my nerves are getting the best of me. What happens in this room could change everything or nothing at all.

The tech explains the probe then gently inserts it inside me. It feels strange at first, but everything else on my mind makes the sensation easy to ignore. Blake doesn’t say a thing as he stands a few feet away, hands tucked in his jean pockets. I know he senses me watching him, but he keeps his eyes on the monitor.

“Is this your first baby?” the tech asks as she watches the screen.

I wait a few seconds to see if Blake will respond, but he doesn’t. “Yes,” I answer, biting down on my lower lip.

She stops on a black oval shape. “There’s your baby,” she says pointing to a small, light colored spot within it. It looks like a little white bean.

This is when it first hits me … that I’m going to be a mom. It’s one thing to know, but when you actually see it growing inside of you, it’s a whole new feeling. Not too long from now, this little baby is going to count on me for everything. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I’ll always be mom to him or her.

Tears fill my eyes as I watch the tech take measurements. My little bean is going to come into the world soon and become the greatest thing I’ve ever accomplished … greatest things we’ve ever accomplished.

The door clicks, and I look over noticing the tech and I are the only ones left in the room. I want to yell for him, but what would be the point? He’s been running scared since the day I met him. What made me think he would change now?

A few words … a few promises. Maybe they were empty after all.

A single tear rolls down my face as I focus my attention back on the screen, and the dark room provides a good mask.

“The doctor wanted me to measure and see how far along you are; from the measurements I just took, I’d guess you’re at five weeks.”

A lump forms in my throat. I panic, and the words just come out. “Does that mean the baby was conceived five weeks ago?”

“No, no, it means you more than likely conceived about three weeks ago. It’s hard to say at this point, but from looking at the size of the yolk sac, it couldn’t have been more than a few days before that. Pregnancies are kind of weird in that way—the weeks start ticking before there’s ever a baby. Does that make sense?”

I nod out of relief. I understand the important part—that this is Blake’s baby. The rest can wait until later.

She removes the probe and helps me up from the table. “Let me get you some pictures before you leave,” she says. She pulls them from the machine and smiles, handing me three. “Hopefully, he’ll come around,” she says softly, squeezing my shoulder.

If only she knew he comes and goes faster than the seasons change. I change quickly, and as I make my way out the door, my mind wanders to where he might be. What made him leave before he even knew? If he left again, I’m not taking him back. This time, he’s not going to be the one to take it all away.

Surprisingly, he’s standing a few feet from the door with his back against the wall. One glimpse of his red eyes and some of the frustration eases away.

“Is there somewhere we can go to talk?” he asks. He’s looking at me but not really. He’s here, but yet he’s gone. “There’s something I need to tell you.”