“Great. I don’t think I moved an inch.”
“You make these little sounds when you sleep,” he says softly, still nuzzling.
“Like what?” I ask, keeping my eyes closed in an effort to stay in the moment.
His warm breath brushes against my ear. “You mmm in your sleep. It’s soft and sweet like the purr of a kitten,” he whispers. The way his words hit me he might as well be between my legs because I feel him there.
“Is that it?” I ask, rubbing my thighs together.
His hand slowly moves from my stomach to the outside of my thigh. “I think so. It lulled me back to sleep.” He reaches mid-thigh then moves his hand back up.
“Pierce,” I breathe. Control is something a woman thinks she has until a man touches her, especially in the morning when they are laying skin to skin with nothing else in the world to distract them. Too bad my fucking heart doesn’t control my libido.
“I can’t do this with you now. It has to be the right time, or it will never be right.” He’s struggling to hold his voice steady. If I wanted him, he’d be mine.
His hand slips down again. “Touch me,” I say, all remaining strings of control slipping from between my fingers.
His fingers still, but I hear him breathing. I hear his struggle even without words. “I can’t,” he whispers brushing his lips against my neck.
“Please. I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t ready.”
Another pause then his fingers find my bare stomach, tracing circles around my belly button.
“Please,” I whisper again, begging.
His fingers curl against my skin. He’s fighting—his heart beating against my back, his breathing growing increasingly heavier. I wiggle against him, trying to make his decision easier. Desire wins out when his hand dips beneath the band of my shorts and panties all at once.
“Is this what you want?” he asks, trailing a delicious line of kisses down my neck and shoulder.
I moan, his fingertips circling my sensitive skin.
It’s the only answer he needs before he presses deeper … harder. I’ve starved myself of lust over the last several months—to the point where I didn’t know what I was missing—and now I could orgasm all day and night and not feel as if I’ve had enough.
He shifts, suddenly, sending me on my back without his strong body to hold me steady. With the light shining through the curtains, he stares down at me and sees everything. There’s too much there I’d rather he not unravel … so much I don’t want him to know.
Closing my eyes, I rest my cheek against the soft pillow much like I’d been a couple minutes ago.
His hand stills. My eyes shoot open. He looks down at me, irritation written all over his face in simple English. “Look at me when I’m touching you. I don’t want there to be any confusion about who’s doing this to you … who’s making you feel this way.”
I read between his words. He doesn’t want me thinking about Blake, and I’m not, but I’m not thinking about him either. I’m selfish, and he knows it.
I nod hesitantly, staring up into his bright eyes. Over the last several months, I’ve developed a deep admiration for Pierce. I know what he can do—how he could be with me—and I could easily fall much deeper.
I could love him.
I don’t want to love him … I don’t want to love anyone.
Yet, I need this. I need him.
He could make me love him.
Our eyes hold as he presses one finger inside me then another. Everything is so intense—what I feel emotionally … physically. I can’t take it, but I can’t stop it either. Gripping each side of his face, I pull him down for a kiss. He’s a master at that too, gently brushing his lips to mine then pressing his tongue between them as his fingers push in further.
I feel it … the heavenly tingle that occurs right before I fall apart. It’s my favorite part—the beautifully painful ache that sweeps my body before I climax. Pierce makes it almost impossible, though. I fight it, but he wins. I come hard around his fingers, back arching to control the trembles that take over the rest of my body. Instead of breaking the kiss, he swallows my screams.
It’s amazing. It fills a void I didn’t realize I had, but I could still go again … and again … and again. He’s that good.
He breaks the kiss, looking down at me while his fingers are still deep within me. He’s putting the puzzle pieces together again, and I don’t like it.
He leans in for a kiss but stops just short. “You’ve never looked more beautiful than you do right now. Sensuality stripped you bare, and all I see is you.” He kisses the corner of my mouth then whispers, “Just you.”
His fingers work again. The second orgasm rolls through my body soon after followed by a third.
“Pierce,” I gasp, trying to catch my breath. “We can’t do this anymore, or I’m not going to be able to walk today.”
The corner of his mouth turns up. “It’s worth it though, isn’t it? I’d carry you on my back just to do this a million times over.”
God, help me.
“How about you?” I ask, turning to my side to get a better look at him. He looks just as satisfied as I feel, and I barely touched him.
The fact that his fingers are still buried inside me doesn’t go unnoticed.
“We should probably get ready for work.”
“Pierce—”
“Lila, the first time I come with you, I want to come inside of you. I control your pleasure, and I control mine.”
“It doesn’t seem fair.”
His fingers slip out of me as his hand slowly slides back up to my stomach, trailing the evidence of my desire along the way. “Watching you, being with you like this … it’s enough for me. More than enough, actually.”
In defiance, I brush my hand against his smooth stomach then let it slip further until my fingers are wrapped around his impressive bulge. His hand wraps around my wrist, pulling my fingers away. “I’m glad you follow directions a little better than this at the office, or we’d have a big problem.”
“You have a big problem, Mr. Stanley. A very big problem.” In fact, it’s the biggest problem I’ve ever come across, and I can’t help but wonder how it would feel inside me.
He smiles. “If I play my cards right, I’ll have a resolution soon enough.”
Is he right? I don’t know if I want him to be. I’m walking a dangerous line, not that I haven’t done this before a time or two.
“I slept with him last night,” I tell Mallory as soon as she picks up her phone.
“With who? With Pierce?”
“Yes,” I reply, pacing back and forth across my room. Pierce left a couple minutes ago to shower and get dressed. I finally feel as if I can breathe again.
Long pause. Damn her … she’s giving me too much time to think.
“Are you there?” I ask, needing something to fill the silence.
“I wish you hadn’t done that, Lila. You’re not ready for this … you’re not ready to put your heart on the line again.”
I shake my head, knowing full well that she can’t see me. “It’s not like that. I mean … we didn’t…” I pause, trying to grab hold of my thoughts. “I meant we slept together in the same bed.”
“That’s it?”
“And he gave me three orgasms, but not in the way you think.”
She sighs, quiet once again. “Promise me something.”
“What?”
“Don’t. Not in New York. I don’t want you getting hurt again.”
“I won’t do anything my heart won’t allow.”
“Damnit, Lila. Just listen to me on this one. Besides, your heart is broken which makes it an unreliable instrument.”
She’s right, yet she’s so wrong. The fractures haven’t healed. The bruises are still visible by those who know me. But the scars will always remain. The marks Derek made on my heart still show through from time to time. Blake was in my life for a short time, but he did the most damage; nothing will ever quite be the same, but that doesn’t mean life can’t be good. Besides, she’s one of the people who have been encouraging me to move on.