She reached for my hand on the table and squeezed it. “I get it. I’m sorry, Maggie.”

I squeezed her fingers back. “It’s not your fault that I have a type.”

She gave me a comforting smile. “True. If things were different, do you think it could be more?”

“You mean if I weren’t emotionally crippled, if Cooper weren’t a slacker, and if West wouldn’t club Cooper?”

She chuckled and picked up her drink. “Yes.”

I sighed and picked mine up too. “Who knows. None of it’s clear to me.” I took a sip. “Growing up is dumb.”

“The worst.”

“Let’s just make a blanket fort and hang out in there indefinitely.”

She raised her glass. “If there are bacon burgers, I’m in.”

“Bacon burgers and french fries and gin. And ice cream.” My phone vibrated in my purse on the table, and I dug around for it.

Lily’s brow rose. “That’s like the third time that’s gone off.”

It was Cooper. I sighed as I glanced at his messages. “He wants to know if I’m okay.”

“Well,” she said as she stood, “I’ll leave you to it. I’m going to head to West’s.”

I looked up at her, hating that I’d dragged her into the mess. “I’m sorry to ask you to keep this secret.”

“I get the necessity. Trust me. I don’t know if I can lie to him if he asks me outright, though. And I can’t save either of you if he finds out.”

“I know. Do what you have to do. But I swear, you won’t have to hide it from him because Cooper and I will just go underground. No more hanging out with everyone, no more being reckless. And if things get hairy, I promise, I’ll end it. I don’t want to put you out any worse than I already have.”

She looked comforted by that. “All right. And I’ve got your back while I can.”

“Thank you.” I gave her a smile.

“You’re welcome. Now go message pretty boy before he loses his mind.” She bent to give me a hug, saying softly, “It’ll be okay, Maggie.”

“I hope so.”

She pulled away. “It will. I promise. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“My big day!” I cheered.

“Your big day! And it’s going to be amazing.” She grabbed her bag and slung it on. “Sleep tight.”

“You too.”

“Oh, I will.” She leered at me.

I shooed her, laughing. “Get outta here with that.”

“Bye,” she chimed as she closed the door.

I let out a heavy sigh and picked up my phone. There were three texts from Cooper.

She knows, doesn’t she? Are you all right?

I’m so sorry. This is my fault.

Really, I didn’t expect murder from Lily. Hit me up when you can.

I texted him back. I’m all right. She definitely knows. And this isn’t your fault. Are you still at Habits?

Not if I can see you.

Can you call me?

Give me five.

I peeled myself out of the chair and cleaned up the kitchen, then dragged myself into the bathroom to wash my face, thinking about what Lily had said. Having a confidant who knew West just as well as I did was comforting. I needed real advice, someone who knew Cooper and the situation. Astrid had cleared the air, but I didn’t know if we were on the level that I could call her and talk to her about my love life.

I sighed and dried my face, then headed into our room to change into leggings and a tank before slipping into bed. I buried myself in the fluffy covers, pulling them up to my chin with a sigh, worn out from the whole ordeal.

At least I’d bought some time.

My phone rang, and I answered right away, not even caring if I looked desperate.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey.”

I want you to come over. “I don’t think I can see you tonight.”

He was quiet for a beat. “I can’t say I’m happy about that. Anything I can do to change your mind?”

I fiddled with the lace on my comforter. “Oh, just erase everything that happened to both of us before I moved here. Can you manage that?”

I must have caught him off guard because he didn’t respond right away. “Possibly. I know a guy.”

I chuckled. “I’m sure you do.”

“What did she say?”

I rolled over to face the room. “She wasn’t happy. She thought you took advantage of me.”

“If she only knew that you were the mastermind behind the whole operation,” he joked.

I laughed at the irony. Talking me into stuff was his best magic trick. “I can’t help the fact that I have needs.”

“Is she going to tell West?”

“She said she wouldn’t.”

“Good. We’ll be more careful.”

I sighed. “God, that was so dumb, Cooper.”

“But so worth it. I couldn’t stand it anymore.”

“Me neither. Next time, let’s just leave.”

“I wish we had just so I’d have you for the night.”

“It’s probably for the best. I can’t stay at your house until three, not when I’ve got to get up early. For work!”

“I wish I got that excited about working.” I could hear him smiling.

“Never know if you don’t try.”

He laughed, and we sat in contented silence. “So you didn’t call when you went to your interview today, which I can’t say I’m not a little hurt about.”

“Aww, is Giant Hammerhead Cooper pouty?”

“Nah. The beast has been fed and is content. For now, at least. I can wake him up, though — just say the word.”

I laugh burst out of me. “Oh, my God, Coop. Never call it ‘the beast’ again. Like, ever.”

“You and your rules. Ever think about just throwing them all out the window?”

“Nope, not really.” I smiled. “Sorry I didn’t call. I knew I’d see you tonight, and I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You’re never a bother, Mags.”

“You say that now, but wait until my brother’s chasing you with a baseball bat and then let’s talk.”

It was his turn to laugh. “Are you sure I can’t change your mind?”

“I’m sure. I’m already in bed.”

“That’s not a convincing reason. I’m right around the corner.”

I pulled a pillow into my chest. “We’ve got to be smarter about this. Your face is too pretty to risk West’s wrath.”

“You think I’m pretty?” he asked.

“Ninety-eight percent of all humans who have seen your face think you’re pretty.”

“Only ninety-eight percent? My numbers have slipped.”

“The other two percent just think ‘tall, dark, and handsome’ is passé.”

He laughed again. “Text me tomorrow and let me know how your day is.”

“I will.”

“And Maggie?”

“Yes?”

“I really am sorry about tonight.”

“I wouldn’t take it back, but I don’t want to put ourselves in this spot again.” I squeezed the pillow a little tighter.

“I know. Me neither.” He took a breath and let it out. “All right. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Sleep well, Mags.”

“You too, Coop.”

I hung up and laid my phone on the nightstand before clicking off the light. And then I lay in bed, the room in such deep shadows that I couldn’t make out much, though I stared into the dark all the same, trying to make sense of what was right in front of me.

Two weeks. Really, it was twelve days before we’d end it. I was resolute, not willing to hurt anyone else for something I wanted, someone who I couldn’t have in any real way, anyway. The thought gave me comfort. I ignored the niggling of dread.

STARVING

Maggie

I PULLED OPEN THE DOOR to Project Homestead the next morning armed with textbooks, my laptop, iron will, and a smile, ready to crush the day. I headed back to my new boss’ office and found her sitting behind her desk. Her hair was a dark, rich gray, pulled back in a clip, her brown eyes shining from behind red-framed glasses.