I thought about my perfect girl as I stared absently at Manhattan in the distance, thought about all the women I’d been with, all the women I knew. The dial stopped on one in particular. “Unassuming, with a sense of humor. Kind, generous, trustworthy. Loyal.” About five-foot-four with curly blond hair, freckles, and a brother who would annihilate me if he knew our secret. 

The admission caught me off guard, and I kept my face still to mask it. There was no stopping my pulse, which ticked a bit faster and harder than it had been.

Elena nodded. “What are you looking for in a relationship?”

I hadn’t really considered what I was looking for, since I hadn’t really considered a relationship before. No one had inspired that for me — the want to just be with someone. There were women whose company I enjoyed, don’t get me wrong. But I’d never needed any of them. It was always easy to walk away, so I did.

But in my life — The Life that was as lonely and separate as it was immersive and public — there was only one thing I wanted. Once I did think about it, the answer was simple.

“A best friend.”

“It’s that easy?”

“I don’t see why it should be hard. Who better to share your life with than your best friend?”

The photographer got up and looked around. “Can I get you stretched out here on this front part?” She motioned toward the bow.

“Yeah.” I hauled myself out of the cockpit and walked to the bow, lay down in the narrow space, and hung my arms in the ropes. One knee was up, my other leg stretched out in front of me in white linen pants, cuffed haphazardly

Her mouth hung open for a second before she disappeared behind the camera. “Oh, fuck — that’s perfect. Don’t move.” The camera went nuts. “Jana, bring the reflector over here. Hurry.”

Her assistant hustled over with a reflective panel.

“Yes, angle it a little more … there. Okay, Cooper, rub the back of your neck.”

I smirked and did it.

“Oh, my God,” she sang from behind the camera. “You’re going to get half our readers pregnant just by pointing that smile at them. It should come with its own warning.”

I full-on laughed at that. The camera went ballistic.

Elena had followed us up and was writing as she watched, smiling. “What are you going to do when you find your dream girl?”

“Who’s to say I haven’t already?”

She laughed. “All right, so what would you say to your dream girl, if you had the chance?”

I didn’t know how to respond. Maggie’s face was on my mind — she was the only inspiration I could find to formulate an answer. I thought about what she’d been through, thought about all the things I wanted to show her. To save her from and give her. The confession poured out of me.

“I’ve been around the world, and I thought I’d seen everything it had to offer until that night, until I saw you. In all my life, I’ve never seen anything so beautiful, not standing in the Blue Mosque or the Taj Mahal. Not in the streets of Rome or canals of Venice. Making you smile gives me life. Making you laugh gives me hope. Making you happy is all I want, other than to keep you.”

The photographer had lowered her camera, and Elena’s pen was still as everyone watched me. My chest ached — I felt raw, exposed.

So I threw The Smile at them.

“Hey, you asked.” And then I stood, keeping my back to the water as they watched, still gaping. I jerked my chin at the photographer. “Heads up.”

She snapped into action, raising her camera just as I backflipped off the bow with a whoop, hitting the chilly water feet first. I looked up as the bubbles dissipated and I could see the shape of my ship, the colors of the sky beautiful and distorted beyond the rippling surface, the sea around me wide and empty. And for a long moment, I stayed where I was in the solitude before swimming back to the air.

Maggie

My fingers flew on my keyboard that night, my brain tripping. I read over my response again to make sure I didn’t sound like an idiot. Yes, I would be available for an interview tomorrow. No, the notice wasn’t too short. That I was looking forward to meeting her, too.

I’d come home to a quiet apartment, all smiles. Went through my collection of delivery menus and ordered the best Thai curry I’d ever had. Freaked out when I’d gotten an interview request on a Sunday evening for an application I’d placed that morning.

Basically, I felt like I was standing on top of a mountain wearing a backpack full of hundred dollar bills.

I smiled and fired off the email before closing my laptop with a snap.

It was the job I wanted the most — Project Homestead. I’d need to put together a plan to prep, and I was grateful that the box of my teaching materials had already come from Jackson. I had my old textbooks and lesson plans and was ready to jump in, ready to get my head back in the game after so long off.

See, I’d only worked for a year out of college. When Jimmy and I got engaged over the summer, he urged me to quit so I could plan the wedding. Even before we were engaged, he made more than enough to cover our expenses, told me to hang onto whatever I earned teaching. That it was ‘my money.’ And thank God for that — I didn’t know how else I would have made it on my own once everything fell apart.

I’d always thought he just wanted to take care of me. It made me feel safe and cared for that he didn’t want me to worry about money. But looking back, I think he was just placating me, spoiling me like he would a child to keep me quiet and happy.

Everything looking back felt like a lie — I didn’t trust that a single thing he’d ever said to me was genuine. That every look was with the knowledge that I wasn’t his only girl, just his regular girl. That he’d been running around on me forever, and somehow, everyone knew except me. A spectacular show, that’s what it was. Once I found out, they all said that it was none of their business, that they didn’t want to intrude.

Southern manners, my ass.

In their defense, he seemed to have a regular set of girls — including my childhood best friend — and all of them knew about me. He never took them in public. It was all very discreet, nothing more than whispers and rumors. My best friend Brooke didn’t even know. Because God knew if she did, she’d have told me in an instant.

No, Jimmy was smart about it. And I was a fool for never questioning a thing he did.

I sighed and climbed out of bed, trying to push my thoughts away and focus on now. Now was so much easier. Simpler.

Now was a sexy boy toy. Now was Manhattan and Central Park and a job interview. A job interview I needed to pick out an outfit for.

I was elbow deep in business casual when my phone rang on my bed. I smiled when I scooped it up and found a picture of Brooke giving me moose ears and a kissy face.

I answered and held the phone in place with my shoulder. “Hey, Brookie.”

“Hey, Maggieboo. You free?”

“These days? Always. How are you?”

“Good. Just missing you. How’s New York treating you?”

“Pretty brilliantly. I kind of had an amazing day.” I held up a button-down to judge its worth. You can do better. I tossed it back in the pile.

“Tell me about your exciting adventures because I’ve got nothin’ to report except that I ran into Richard Peck at Joe’s bar. Remember how hot he used to be?”

“Uh, yeah. Everybody wanted some Dick.”

She snickered. “With a name like Dick Peck, you’d think he would’ve had a hard time getting laid. But I’m not even sure if he can see his junk without a mirror, never mind use it for pleasuring the ladies.”

A cackle shot out of me. “Oh, my God, Brooke.”

“Seriously, I watched him eat a twenty-ounce ribeye, a basket of onion rings, a side of chili fries, a giant piece of chocolate cake, and I think he drank a case of beer. The guy’s a mammoth.”