“You do look just like the other one,” the lady said.

“Yeah, we’re twins,” I said in small voice. Mouse-like. I cleared my throat and straightened my posture. I had to be brave. I had one chance and I couldn’t blow it. “Ms. Porter, can you please take us both? I’ll help you clean and do everything. We won’t be bad. I promise,” I begged.

Her head tilted to the side and her heart softened. Maybe it was the tears. I don’t know, but I know she felt something. She didn’t speak, she only smiled a sad smile, and I knew it was a no.

“Sweetie, we talked about this,” Sherry said quietly as she knelt to my level. I looked at her through tears, seeing her in a blur.

“Gabby!”

“Izzy!”

Excited screams echoed through the room when I saw her. My Clyde. My eyes left everyone in the waiting room to go to her, and my feet carried me to her in lightning speed. We embraced and cried like we hadn’t seen each other in years. Three weeks away from her seemed like three years.

“Girls, why don’t you step into my office? You can visit there while we have an adult conversation out here.”

 

~~

My head jerked and I jumped a foot. “Jesus, Row-row.” The tear I wiped with the back of my hand reminded me of the sad dream.

“What’s the matter, mommy?” Rowan asked, worry in her tone.

“You scared me. What time is it?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Okay, I’m coming. Where’s Phi?”

“She’s pooping.”

“Oh, well great. Don’t say that in front of your dad.”

I stumbled to the kitchen, trying to wake up. All it took was the time on the microwave. “Ten o’clock! Go get your sister. We’ve got to go. We have gymnastics. You have gymnastics. Ugh. Your dad is going to kill me. Ophelia. Let’s go,” I called. I couldn’t believe I’d slept that late. Paxton would be livid.

My finger glided over the calendar, stopping on Monday morning gymnastics. Ten a.m. I should have had them there already.

“Go, Row. Get dressed. We have to go.”

“But I’m hungry.”

“Oh, yeah. Food. Here, eat a muffin.”

“Hmm, this is good.”

“Go dress,” I pleaded while I ran to find them clothes. I hopped on one foot when I remembered I wasn’t ready for that. I wouldn’t be running anytime soon.

“Hey, I want a muffin,” Ophelia stated as soon as she saw it.

“I licked them all.”

“Rowan, you did not. Stop saying that. Go grab a muffin, Phi and then get dressed. We’re late.”

“Dad’s gonna be mad,” Ophelia warned.

“Thanks, Einstein. Go get dressed.”

That was the start of my crazy day. We totally missed gymnastics, I got lost, and took them to the stupid art by the bay at the time they were supposed to be at dance, or maybe it was piano. I don’t know. Neither of them were any help. All they did was argue who was right and who was wrong. Rowan insisted we were supposed to go to dance. I didn’t even have that on my notes.

“You know what? Let’s forget this stupid schedule. Here, tear it into little pieces,” I said while ripping the page in half.

“Daddy’s gonna be mad,” Ophelia said with great assurance.

“Daddy will get over it. Let’s go home, make a lunch, and head down to the beach.”

“Yay!” they both yelled in unison.

I didn’t even care that Paxton would go nuts. This was absurd, and I was finished before I ever started. They could do two things. That was enough. If Paxton didn’t like it, he could take off work and keep track of it. My mind wasn’t ready for that. I thought about my dream with a heavy heart. I knew that was the last time I saw my sister, and it made me sad. I missed her.

We did make it to the grocery store, and once again, I did my own thing. I didn’t buy the hotdogs, the sausage patties, or the ham-hock. What the hell was that for? Again I thought about how pissed Paxton would be, and again I didn’t care.

I was sure that Paxton’s bark was worse than his bite. I mean, what was he going to do, spank me? He hadn’t even grabbed my face or my throat in quite a while. And if he did, oh well. I couldn’t do this. It was stupid.

Rowan and Ophelia didn’t mind. They were elated to go to the beach and have a picnic. I needed a drink, and a moment to think about the separation from my sister.

“You guys can pick two things. You can pick one and you can pick one,” I told the girls while I overstepped my boundaries as we all put away groceries.

“I just want to do the golf ball,” Ophelia said while giving me her one and only pick.

“Don’t open those, Phi. We’re going to eat lunch,” I said as I watched her try to open the bag of pretzels. “What about you, Row-row?”

“Hmm, maybe I’ll just do golf, too.”

“No, you can do golf and something else. You can pick something, too,” I said as I placed two cans of soup in the pantry, explaining that she didn’t have to pick the same one.

“Do you like gymnastics or piano, Phi?”

I stopped putting my groceries away and smiled down at them. She wanted to make sure Phi was okay with her decision. They did love each other. Hurray.

“Well, I forgot about piano. I like that.”

I tossed a bag of noodles to Rowan and solved the problem. “Tell you what. We’ll do three. Golf, piano, and gymnastics. How’s that?” Both girls agreed with yeses.

“Go put your swimsuits on while I make us lunch,” I said, wiping something sticky from the island. Chocolate milk maybe.

I took a deep breath and searched out my buzzing phone. A text message from Paxton.

 

Paxton—How’re things going?

I twisted my lips to the side and thought about how to reply. It wouldn’t really be a lie if I said fine. They were fine. Just not up to his par.

 

Gabriella—Fine. How’re things with you?

Paxton—Ha,ha, funny … How’re are the girls? Everything okay?

Gabriella—Yes. Everything is fine. Stop worrying. I’ll see you later.

Paxton—Did you get the roast? Make it for supper. Corn and mashed potatoes. Make a brown gravy and some sort of bread. Rolls.

Gabriella—What would you like to drink with that?

Paxton—I’m just going to ignore that for now. I’ll take it out on your ass later. Take care of my cubs.

Gabriella—I’ll be waiting, and of course I’ll take care of them. They’re my cubs, too.

“You can fix this?” Ophelia asked with both her hands behind her back, wearing her swimsuit in some weird way. I had to remove the whole thing to figure out what part she had over her head. It was all twisted up.

I played with my girls. We ate fresh salads, and peanut butter and jelly. We used seashells to dig a ditch, and made a lazy river out of sand. Ophelia and Rowan made a game out of it, using their juice boxes as boats. We climbed high up on the boulders that Paxton had forbidden us to climb, and we laughed. A lot. All in all, I’d say they had a great day. A great day without all the distractions.

We ended our beach day leaned against one of the giant rocks. One tired little girl under each arm. The tide tickled our toes and we stared out to the endless ocean, the sun high above our heads.

“I like this better than dance. Can we do it tomorrow, too?” Rowan questioned, green eyes beaming up to me.

I brushed her wet, blonde strands to her back and smiled at her. “We’ll see.” I wasn’t sure how Paxton was going to handle my disobedience. I was sure it wouldn’t be pleasant. He would be pissed. No doubt about it.

Rowan told me about our last vacation. Apparently, I was sick and stayed in the hotel most of the time. I pondered if that was truth or not. I was more apt to say I was being punished. Ophelia helped with the story, telling me about the zip line they slid down. Even though I wouldn’t have remembered it anyway, it still hurt my heart a little. I wanted to experience that with them.