I don’t have a retort. I know she’s right. We were so close, making that final leap together. Now where am I? Lost, that’s where.

Bill takes hold of Glenda’s hand and meets my gaze. “You’ve learned that you won’t forget them. You believe that they want you to be happy, right?”

I nod slowly. Yes, I’d started to believe that he was the key to my future, the one meant to bring me back to life. But, wasn’t he the one who took it all away?

“Did you ever think,” Bill continues, “that they sent him to you? Because you were the only ones who could truly heal each other? The only ones who could understand each other’s pain?”

My parent’s words start echoing in my head, heal each other’s grief. There is no one at fault, only two who blame themselves.

“Tori, I didn’t know your husband,” Belinda says, “or daughter, but knowing you, I imagine they were compassionate, loving souls. Am I right?”

Tears cascade from my eyes, and I sniffle and nod.

“Perhaps they can free Chase from his guilt through you. And in doing so, free you from your burdens as well.”

Belinda places her hand over her heart, pressing lightly. “Our babies are dancing with the angels, Tori. By being happy, we provide them with the music.”

She dances with angels.

She dances with angels.

Chase’s tattoo. He punishes himself with that tattoo as a reminder that she is gone. But, that’s not what it means. She dances with angels. It should be a reminder to create the symphony that she dances to, one that brings a smile and laughter to her sweet face. A score that tells her we are happy too.

Four faces look at me hopefully, watching to know if they’ve gotten through to me. Chase is the only person on this earth who can truly help me let go and I think I’m his salvation as well. I have to see him. My heart aches a little less at the thought.

“Thanks,” I whisper with a wobbly smile. No more words need to be said. They each give me a parting hug and I’ve finally learned how to return it again.

Once they are gone, I dash to the shower and throw on the first clean clothes I come across. I run around looking for everything I need and beat a hasty path to my car. I’m not stupid. I don’t speed to get to him, but I do scream at the lights and traffic to get their asses moving.

I need to see my angel.

I sit in the middle of my living room floor in nothing but a pair of old sweats and stare at the wall.

Yellow.

Yellow.

Yellow.

But still the wrong fucking shade. Tomorrow I’ll go back to the hardware store and try number twenty on the list. Sunnyside Lane seems like it might be the same color as her dress was—and tomorrow, I will know for sure when it’s painted on my wall.

With a sigh, I lie back on the hardwood floor and it chills my bare back. My eyes close and I think of Tori. Beautiful, brilliant, feisty Tori. A week has gone by and I’m still a wreck. I’ll never recover from losing her.

Ever.

She was a light in my dark world. A reason to smile. A reason to feel hopeful again.

Now, that light has been snuffed out and I remain in the cold, black emptiness all alone. All fucking alone. My heart aches every second of every day without her.

A click of the door opening sends a surge of hope running through my veins that maybe it could be my Tori. But I know better. She’s gone—forever. Besides, Penelope had already promised she’d stop by this evening and bring leftovers, so I know it’s her instead.

“Hey Penny,” I call out, not bothering to open my eyes.

She drops her purse on the floor with a clatter and her flip flops make a smacking noise on the floor as she approaches me.

“Before you ask, yes I ate lunch. Just put the leftovers in the fridge. I’ll eat them later,” I lie. I didn’t eat breakfast or lunch and I don’t plan on eating dinner either. I’m not fucking hungry.

She sniffles and my entire body grows cold. I’m almost afraid to open my eyes in case it’s a cruel dream. The sound doesn’t belong to that of my loud-ass sister.

“I haven’t been hungry either.”

This time I do open my eyes to see an angel standing over me.

My angel.

Wet, wild blonde hair a big fucking frizzy mess all over her head. Bloodshot blue eyes stare down at me. Perfect lips quivering, just barely holding back her emotions.

“Thank God, baby,” I murmur.

“Chase!”

She launches herself on top of me, straddling my hips. My fingers slide into her messy hair and I draw her to me. Tears fall from her face and splash onto mine. I want to kiss them all away.

“Please forgive me, Tori,” I murmur and press the softest of kisses on her lips. “I love you so damn much. You have to believe me.”

A sob escapes her and I hug her to me. I kiss her face all over in a desperate attempt to take away the pain.

“Every single day I mourned with you, Tori. Every single goddamned day,” I choke out and hold her away so I can look into her eyes. “I begged God to change the past—to take me instead of them.”

I run my thumbs over her cheeks, wiping away her tears. “And baby, I didn’t just mourn with you. I also mourned for you. I’d caused the ultimate pain in you and I wanted to help you—to heal you. Every day I searched for you despite my mother’s request not to. I thought if I could just find you, I could let you take out your anger and hatred out on me. You could punish me for what I did. And then I’d hoped it would give you some sliver of relief from the pain.”

I kiss her sweet lips again.

“When I didn’t find you, I focused on getting my degree in psychology and then on to getting my doctorate because I wanted to help people. I’d already caused so much heartache and pain, it was the least I could do to give back.”

This time, her lips drop to mine for a soft kiss. My eyes search hers for some indication of her feelings. She remains quiet but hasn’t shut me out yet.

“When you walked into group that day, I had no idea you were that woman whose life I’d unintentionally ruined. But the connection I had with you was palpable and real. I knew the second I saw you that my life would be nothing without you in it.”

Her lips form the tiniest of smiles and it urges me on.

“Our love is real, Tori. And life dealt us a very shitty hand,” I mutter. “But I don’t care about all that. All I care about is you. I want to spend the rest of my days loving you and you loving me back. Together, I want us to heal each other.”

She runs her fingers through my hair and her thumb slides over my scar on my hairline. “You went there every week.”

I nod and run my fingers down her back.

“You paint your wall all the damn time in an attempt to match her dress—the last glimpse you had of her life.”

“I think about her every single day,” I tell her.

She sits up and drags a finger over my tattoo. “You never forgot her.”

My brows furrow. “How could I ever forget her?”

Her lip quivers and her palm rests on the inscription on my chest. “Your pain is my pain.”

Tugging her to me, I kiss her hard this time before breaking away. “Your pain is my pain,” I agree.

“Chase, this should be a hard decision for me. I should hate you with every part of my being...” she trails off.

I nod and smile at her. “I’m hoping there’s a but in there.”

She grins at me through her tears. “But, I don’t hate you. In fact, I love you so much it hurts me—physically hurts me—to be away from you. You’re a salve to my battered soul. I need you, Chase Monroe. And yes, of course I can forgive you for something you never had any control over. I’m sorry it took me so long to see that.”