“Hey, lady,” Chris called from the hall that led to the office. “It’s time for your break. Let Renee handle the front, and you come eat with Sheila and me.”

Suspicious, Julie asked, “Did Danny call you? Maybe ask you to keep an eye on me?”

Chris’s brows shot to his hairline. “I’m appalled. You act as if we never eat together, Julie.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Julie continued to stare at him.

“Okay, fine, he may have called and requested some extra eyes on you. But you know damn well that Sheel and I love you like a sister. So get your ass back here and eat with us.”

Even with her gut wrapped in knots, Chris’s quirky invitation was too sweet to turn down. Julie giggled. “Okay, since you asked so sweetly.”

Over burgers and fries Julie opened up to her friends about what had been going on with Ivy. She explained that she hadn’t shared her worries sooner because discussing it even with her closest friend made everything feel too real. She’d been avoiding the topic as much as she could while trying her best to get in touch with Ivy.

As best friends did, Sheila and Chris came up with multiple reasons why everything would be “just fine.” They were so convincing that by the time Danny came to pick her up at four o’clock, Julie was certain that their worry was for naught. She spent the ride from work to their home relaying all of Sheila and Chris’s perfectly rational excuses. The problem was, they didn’t sound nearly as logical coming from her. Shit. What the hell was going to happen at five o’clock?

***

HAD IT NOT been so pathetic, it may have been comical the way Danny and Julie sat—huddled close, bodies touching, breaths mingling—yet not the slightest ripple of sexual current flowed between them. Two cordless phones lie inches away on the coffee table. Thank goodness neither of them could shoot laser beams from their eyes, or the phones would have disintegrated fifteen minutes earlier.

“She said she’d call at five.” Julie huffed, looking once again at her watch.

Danny cracked his knuckles as the sofa cushion shook beneath him. Julie’s knee had been bouncing as if she were a kid on a pogo stick since the moment they sat down, and with each passing minute, the spring increased. He rested his hand on her knee. “Honey, she’s gonna call. And when she does, I don’t wanna be seasick. Can you please settle?”

“Sorry, I’m just…” She shrugged, and worry etched her creamy skin. “You know.”

“I do. I—” His thoughts were cut off when the phones rang loudly, sending them each scrambling for a headset.

The conversation wasn’t long. In fact, it was barely a conversation at all. For the most part, Ilene spoke and Danny and Julie listened. The agency worker explained that Ivy had decided to keep her baby and wouldn’t give him up no matter what. She and her parents had worked out an agreement, and they would help her once the baby arrived.

“But”—Danny’s heart cracked as his wife whispered—“he’s our baby.”

“I’m so sorry, Julie. I really am. I know how long you both have waited for this. I can put you back on the list,” Ilene offered.

Danny’s gut clenched at the mere thought of that goddamn list. He squeezed his eyes closed and cupped his hand over his wife’s, but he stayed quiet. If she needed to continue on this journey, he’d stand by her side, but he…he was wiped out. He opened his eyes when she squeezed his hand. Through her tear-filled eyes, he saw something he hadn’t seen before. Before he could determine what it was, she spoke.

“No,” she croaked. “Don’t put us back on the list, Ilene.”

He nodded his approval, grateful that she felt the same way and heartbroken that they would never have the family they so desired.

“We’re done,” she said.

The agency worker rambled on a few minutes longer, but Danny had stopped listening, his attention focused solely on the woman next him. Her eyes were stormy gray with tears already falling across her downturned features. Danny slid from the sofa to the carpeted floor and crawled between his wife’s legs. The minute Julie bid farewell to Ilene, he took the phone from her grip and, without clicking it off, pushed it aside. On his knees, Danny was only a few inches taller than her, but when he opened his arms and she leapt into his embrace, those inches felt like feet.

“He was ours.” Her thin voice vibrated into his chest. “I already loved him, you know?”

God, he knew. He absolutely fucking knew. “Yeah, honey, I loved him too.”

“I meant what I said to Ilene. I can’t do this anymore.”

Danny’s heart pounded. He felt her pain on a visceral level, as if they were connected by more than just love and last name.

His gut shredded when she said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a family. I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, Jules.” Pulling her tight to his chest, he inhaled deeply. Gardenias and Julie filled his senses as he kissed her soft forehead. “Woman, you are my family. When are you going to learn? I love you, honey. I’m yours.”

“And I’m yours.”

Chapter Eighteen

Then I Got A Friend

“SON.” ALLAN PULLED Danny into an embrace.

Something about his father’s hugs, no matter how old Danny got, was comforting. That hug was no exception. Danny and Julie had just arrived at Allan and Anita’s new place, a house on a golf course they had moved into the year before. Even though they weren’t celebrating Christmas in his childhood home, being with Julie and his dad in North Carolina still felt like coming home. After the devastation of the past week, he and Julie needed to be home.

Danny cleared his throat. “Place looks great, Dad.”

Allan had already wrapped his arms around Julie before he acknowledged Danny’s compliment. “Yeah, Anita and I are really happy here. Place feels fresh, yet still has the things that make it home.” He angled his head toward the hallway. “You know, if you go look in the family room, you’ll see the bookcases you, Neal, and I built long ago.”

“Those things got trashed when…after… Neal died.” The memory of seeing those bookcases cracked on the floor was branded in his brain.

Allan’s eyes sparkled as he glanced between Danny and Julie. “They’re a bit banged up, but they suit us fine. Just because something isn’t how you want it doesn’t mean it isn’t perfect.”

“Dad,” Julie sighed, no doubt attempting to steer the conversation away from the subject of children.

But Allan continued on his path. “Loss comes in many shapes and sizes, but thank God, so does gain. You two hold on to each other and, I promise, you’ll find your slice of perfection.”

Julie nodded wordlessly.

“Oh, oh, you’re here!” Anita exclaimed, rushing in through the side door. “I was just outside picking this from the herb garden.” Her basket of fresh mint fragranced the air. “I’ve never had so much fun with rosemary, basil, and mint. I could just kiss the previous owners for leaving such awesomeness behind.”

Allan roped his arm around his wife. “How about you just save your kisses for me?”

“Well, maybe she could spare just one for me?” a familiar voice teased as he came through the open front door.

“Chester!” Danny and Julie whipped around to face their friend. Peace like he hadn’t felt in weeks settled through Danny as he watched his wife embrace his closest friend. “What the hell are you doing here, man?”

Chester ignored Danny’s extended hand and pulled him in for a hug-back-slap. “It’s fuckin’ Christmas, that’s why I’m here. And while technically I wasn’t supposed to come up this year on account of the Keys dripping with gorgeous women during the season—Thanksgivin’ may be our together time from now on—I’m here because you are my family.” He looked between Julie and Danny. “And I needed to see that you were okay. ‘Cause goddamn, you two can’t catch a fuckin’ break.”