After a silence that seemed to stretch on forever, James responded. “Anna, what makes you think that? What did I do to make you think you weren’t enough? That I deserve better? I don’t want anything else, Anna. You’re everything to me. You are so…everything. I love you more than you know.” James smiled, sitting up and taking hold of her hands. Anna knew he was trying to prove to her they would be okay and he wasn’t lying. She knew James truly believed in his heart she really was all he could ever want.

“Love isn’t always enough,” Anna retorted.

“Yeah, actually it is. You go without it long enough and you realise it’s everything. Nothing else matters,” James tried to explain.

“You don’t know my past, who I used to be. And I guess because of that, you don’t really know who I am. I’m not blaming you; that’s my fault. It’s all on me. I hid that side of myself from you…”

“Why?” James cut her off, a pained expression on his face.

“Because I’m embarrassed. But when we were in Canberra I had to face it. I had to confront my past. Head on. And you didn’t even bat an eyelid. You didn’t notice and you didn’t…”

“I did notice, Anna. Of course I did. As soon as you answered that call from your friends you changed. You froze. You shut down. I saw it. Don’t pretend I didn’t,” James hit back hard and fast.

“You couldn’t know. And I’m not blaming you. It was entirely my fault. I couldn’t tell you because I thought you wouldn’t love me if you knew. I was selfish and I know I shouldn’t be but I love you so much and I wasn’t strong enough to watch you walk away. So, instead of waiting for you to leave me, I took the easy way out. I beat you to it. I thought I would save us both a lot of time and heartache and leave first. I love you more than even I realised, but I didn’t want to be responsible for holding you back.” Throughout her confession Anna hadn’t raised her head and looked at him. Not once. Instead she was picking at her fingers absentmindedly. But when she did, her heart broke at the picture before her. She’d hurt him. And that had been the last thing in the world she’d wanted to do. Reading his face, Anna could see the hurt and confusion written there.

“So, Anna. How do we fix this?” James asked, sucking in a nervous breath.

“I don’t know James, I really don’t.” Anna shrugged.

“How ’bout you tell me whatever it is you need to tell me, then we deal with it. Together. No matter what, you have to know that won’t change the way I feel about you. I’ll love you no matter what. I’ll be right here beside you. Your past has made you who you are and I am so thankful for that. No matter what happened we can deal with it. I love you and nothing could ever or would ever change that. Please, Anna, talk to me,” James pleaded desperately.

“If you’re sure you want to know, I’ll tell you. Then if you want me to go, I will. No questions asked. When I was younger, about sixteen or so…” Anna began. She could not bring herself to look him in the eye. “I was Grant’s girlfriend. I thought he was the most wonderful, gorgeous guy I had ever met. I thought he was everything that I ever wanted in a guy.” James sucked in a short, sharp breath. Anna saw the pain in James’s face, but she pushed it aside and kept going. “He had the most deep, inviting brown eyes and strong shoulders. And I thought he was special. I mean, he was this amazing guy and everyone wanted him. Guys wanted to be him and girls wanted to date him. For some odd reason, he chose me.” Anna took a deep breath.

“Grant was my first love and I truly believed he could give me the world. I was young and naïve. We had one of those stupid, pathetic relationships. I would hurt him and we would break up, then after a week or two we would get back together and be more in love than ever. Then it was his turn to break my heart. This went on for so long, everyone lost track of when we were together and when we weren’t. But there was this one time Grant told me he loved me. I was young and foolish and impulsive and I thought I was in love. I was a sworn virgin. No sex until I was married, that’s something I always believed in, still do. But Grant tried every trick in the book to coax me into bed. He tried getting me drunk, telling me that he loved me, and even when we started fooling around he always tried to take it that one step too far. I kept telling him I wasn’t ready.” She sighed.

“But Grant was a teenage boy. And this was something he couldn’t stand. He hated the word no. It was like no one ever said it to him before and he didn’t like it one bit. He broke my heart for what I think was the fifth time because I ‘wasn’t mature enough for him.’ A week later Grant was already sleeping with my best friend and I lost them both forever. Things changed from then on. I made the decision that no matter what happened to me in my life I would never let anyone get into the position to hurt me again. Then I met you.” She wondered if she should steal a glance at James. No, she was too afraid.

“And I loved you so much, right from the beginning. But I was so scared that if you saw it, you would hurt me. But you didn’t. You were kind and sweet, and the more time I spent with you the deeper and faster I fell.” Anna dared to look up at James and she was shocked by what she saw. A constant stream of salty tears silently ran down his cheeks. “I’ll never forget the hurtful, hateful things Grant said to me. But the one that cut the deepest, the one that hurt the most was how I was nothing and no one could ever love someone so damaged.” She twisted her fingers together nervously.

“Then last week you took me back home. You didn’t know and he assumed I had forgotten everything—the way he treated me, the way he repeatedly broken my heart, the horrible things he’d said and how badly he hurt me. Then he asked me to dance and it completely freaked me out.”

“What happened, Anna? What did he say?” Anna could tell James was absolutely fuming. His face was red and Anna could see the veins in his neck pop out. Anna was sure that if he could have gotten his hands around Grant’s throat in that moment, he would surely strangle him without hesitation.

“He told me that ‘I had really done it.’ And that I had gotten exactly what I wanted. But what hurt the most was the fact that everything he was saying was true. I did get what I wanted. I got you. Then he reminded me that I wasn’t up to your standards and that I was the lucky one because you could do so much better. Grant wanted to be the one to make you see that I’m just some little once fat wannabe, who isn’t good enough to be your wife. I couldn’t let him be the one to help you see that. I knew I had to be the one to let you know the truth. But when the time came to tell you, I freaked out. I took the easy way out. I bolted.” Anna wiped furiously at her eyes.

“I jumped in the car and took off as fast as I possibly could. But I couldn’t even get that right. I crashed and ended up in hospital. And you found me. I wanted to save you, so I left. At the hospital when they asked me who to call, I didn’t give them your name. I didn’t want you to find me.” Anna’s words were beginning to slur as her emotions finally kicked into overdrive. “I just wanted to make your life easier by disappearing. Then you wouldn’t have to feel guilty or bad about ending this because it was my fault. You could be free to live your life the way you wanted to with whomever you wanted,” Anna spluttered barely coherently. She was nothing more than a babbling, crying mess.

“Anna.” James’s voice softened, wrapping his arms around her. “That doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a brave person. You were young and scared but you stuck to your beliefs. He’s the asshole in this situation, not you. I really respect your decision not to sleep with him. And between us, I’m ecstatic you didn’t. If you loved him as much as you say you did, and I truly believe that you did, that would have taken superhuman courage and will power to say no and keep saying no, especially under that sort of relentless pressure.” He kissed her damp cheek.