“You’re not alone in this, Luca. I’m here. I will always be here and when I tell you I’m not going anywhere, I mean it,” he says quietly.

“Do you think I’m a whore?” My eyes start to prickle with tears. My heart is so full of love for this man, yet so full of the pain I’m causing him, it’s nearly gutting me.

“No, I don’t. I’ve never thought, nor have I looked at you as anything other than the woman I love.” Love. He said he loves me. I lose my grasp on any ounce of strength I have left. I cry again. Only this time they are tears of happiness. I’ve never had a man tell me he loved me before. It’s more gratifying than any piece of jewelry or designer gown. It’s by far the best words I have ever heard in my entire life.

“Say it again?” I request through heaving breaths of crying mixed with delightful laughter.

“Say what?” I hear the amusement in his tone. “That I love you?” Taking me off of his lap, gracefully as if I weigh nothing, he lays me back down on the bed. His strong fingers run through my hair. His eyes soft.

“I do love you, Luca. I’ve loved you for so long.”

“I love you, too,” I whisper into the face of my protector.

“Don’t scare me like that ever again. Whatever that nightmare was about, know that I will fight until my last breath to protect you. And baby, I’ve just found you again, I plan on breathing for a very long time.”

“Hold me?” I ask.

“Always.”

EIGHTEEN

“Hey babe, you look like shit.” Lola comes strolling in the kitchen, her makeup perfect with her hair piled on top of her head. Fucking Bitch.

“I don’t care.” I shrug and blunder my way back to the coffee pot. You would think after being wrapped up in Camden’s arms all night I would’ve been able to sleep. The way he held me, and repeatedly told me how much he loves me should have made me feel content, safe. I don’t. I’ve never felt so threatened in my entire life. I’m a shell of myself, with no grip on reality. My sanity is completely gone.

“My god, Luca. I know that dream felt real, but honey, it was just a dream. A horrible one, but it wasn’t real, sweetie. Come on. Cheer up.” Slinging her arm around my shoulder, she slightly bumps me with her hip.

“I’m so scared, Lola. It’s as if I’m a marionette and someone else is pulling the strings, taking control of my life. I can’t focus on work. I can’t leave here for fear I’m going to be taken to that god damn freezer. It’s like the scariest part of a sick psychological movie keeps flashing in my mind every time I close my eyes. And Camden, he’s trying to be so strong, but this is wrenching him apart.” I pause, my shaky hands lifting the coffee cup to my lips for a sip. Even the taste of the caffeine is bitter on my tongue.

“Jesus, Luca. Like I told you this morning when you and Camden told me about this nightmare, you need to focus on something else.” Moving to stand in front of me, she places both of her hands on my shoulders. “Let’s get massages and try to relax. Staying in this suite comes with a free massage you know.”

Aw, Christ. I don’t want a massage. The last time I had one was the one Heath provided for me. The one where I gave myself to him and enjoyed it. The thought of having a massage ever again is enough to make me physically ill. You’re a whore. You’re a cunt!

“Shut up.” I drop the mug of coffee on the floor, the brown liquid splashing all over the tile. My hands move to my hair, gripping at my messy strands. Lola jumps out of the way, dodging the steaming liquid. It dawns on me I could have burned my friend, hurt her. As I look into her glassy eyes, I realize she’s still hurt, even though she dodged the coffee.

“Shit. I didn’t mean you need to shut up. I’m a fucking mess. His voice won’t leave my head. I’m a whore, Lola. He kept telling me that and I am. I’m no better than the one’s out there on the street who take crack, cocaine, or any drug they can get their hands on as payment for spreading their legs for someone.” My shoulders slump. She pulls me into her arms and I go willingly.

“You are not a whore,” she softly speaks.

“No, she’s not and if I ever hear her talk about herself like that again, I’ll break my promise and walk out the door.” I see the hurt on Camden’s face, the pain in his eyes, and the tremble of encouragement in his voice. It’s all there. The man looks just as tired as I feel.

“I’m sorry,” I say meekly.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, baby. Don’t ever be ashamed of anything you’ve done in your life. Ever. There isn’t a single person who cares about you who will judge you for a damn thing, so listen to me and quit judging yourself. And another thing, Lola is right. You need something to do. Take my phone, call Leo and Annie and tell them what’s going on, so they can get back here and help maintain Divider. Mitch can’t handle it all alone and you’re not in any state of mind to make rational decisions. Luca, I promised I wouldn’t let anything happen to you and I meant it. I firmly believe Heath will listen to me when he is found.” I stare into his big blue eyes. They shine back a life full of promises, the color so serene and vibrant.

“Damn, bitch. He’s bossy. I bet he bosses you around in the bedroom, too.” Laughter rings throughout the suite. Pure joyful laughter that I haven’t heard for days, comes out of both our mouths. Leave it to Lola and my bossy man to try and cheer me up. The only problem is my inner mayhem and fear that if Heath wants to hurt me then nobody will stop him. Not even Camden.

“Are you sure you don’t want a massage?” Lola steps into the kitchen fifteen minutes later with a white robe and pink fuzzy slippers on her feet.

“No thanks. I really do need to call Leo and Annie.” I try and stifle my laugh. The woman is freaking gorgeous. No one but her could rock a pair of fuzzy slippers and still look like a damn model. Bitch.

“Well he should be here any minute.” She cocks her cute little hip to the side.

“He?” I question.

“Of course he. I don’t want a woman rubbing up all on me. Not that she can’t do a good job, but this body right here, it requires the services of a man.” She takes her hand and waves it down her toned, skinny little frame. Again, Bitch.

“I’m going to laugh my ass off if he’s not into chicks.” Grabbing Camden’s phone, I start to make my way down the hall to the bedroom.

“Oh he will most certainly be into this chick. I hope his name is Pierre or Stefan.”

“Have fun,” I holler back. God, I love her. Even though I feel like I’m dangling on the verge of dying at any time, there’s nothing more satisfying than the support of your best friend.

Lounging on the bed, I punch in the security number Camden gave me and press the button for Leo’s number. I need to call him first. Annie and I have been on such a rocky edge lately I want to be able to actually talk with her; to tell her how sorry I am for taking my frustrations out on her. She needs to know how much she means to me and I don’t mean how valuable she is at work. I mean personally. I love her.

“Jesus mother fucking Christ. What?” Leo belts in my ear.

“Leo?” I draw my brows up. His greeting takes me back. Leo’s the most laid back person I know.

“Fuck, Luca. Where in the hell are you? I’ve been trying both you and Mitch for two damn days. No one’s answering the phones at the office. I’m in the airport in Miami. I’m coming home, without tying up this deal, because I’m worried out of my damn mind. Fuck!” I’m silent for a long time. The wheels spinning. Poor Leo freaking out over this so far from home.

“God, Leo. I’m so sorry. It’s been crazy around here. So much has happened and I should’ve called you.”