What was I thinking?

 I looked through my closet the next day. It held a rainbow of clothing, and more short skirts than I ever thought. How could I ever let Sabrina persuade me to buy all of these things?

“Don’t you dare over think this,” Sabrina said.

I jumped at the sound of her voice. I turned to see my roommate lying in bed, blankets wrapped around her body like some kind of cocoon. Her eyes were closed but there was a smile on her face.

“We had fun yesterday. You had fun yesterday so don’t you dare deny it. The clothes look kick ass on you. Just try it out, okay?”

“You sound like I actually have a choice,” I said.

“Even if you did have a choice, we both know what choice you would make.”

I closed my closet doors and went back to the bed.

“How was your night?” I asked Sabrina when she finally opened her eyes. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“That’s because I’m like a ninja,” she joked. “I can get in and out of places without making a peep.”

“Are you going to actually get up? We have things to do! The weekend is only two days away.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Sabrina shifted but she made no move to remove the covers.

“Give me five more minutes.”

“Sure, whatever,” I said.

Sabrina turned over and dug her head underneath her pillow. Rolling my eyes, I left the dorm room and shuffled down the hallway. The hallway was quiet and my footsteps echoed against the wooden floor. Everyone was nursing some kind of hangover or bad decision made. Boys were tangled around some girls while others slowly moved around.

Ah the life of the college student.

“Well hello there sunshine!” I heard someone call down the hall.

My head whipped up and I spied Turner on the other side of the hallway. When he saw me looking at him he waved his hands.

“Hey,” I said and quickly walked down the hall.

I didn’t want Turner to continue to yell and wake up the rest of the dorm. When I approached him, Turner pulled me into his arms and hugged me.

 What was he doing? I didn't really mind. I hadn't been hugged by any guy that was not part of my family. This was already new territory for me and it seemed awkward. I could feel the heat radiating off of him and his body felt tense.

God, I was being hugged by a good-looking guy.

“How have you been? Did you decide whether or not you are coming to the concert?” Turner asked.

“I don’t know yet. It seems like fun but it’s right before classes. I’m not sure it’s a great idea.”

“Really? It’s the last hurrah before the nightmare of classes and exams. You have to come. It’s the only way to start the year off right.”

“I’ll think about it. But I’m not going to make any promises. There’s too much going on in my life.”

“Fair enough.”

Turner stepped back and stared at me.

“Do you want to go get some breakfast or something? We can eat some pancakes or something?”

“That sounds like a date and I don’t do dates.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t’ know you…”

“No, you don’t,” Turner admitted. “But how are you supposed to get to know me if you don’t go out with me?”

He was right, of course, but I didn’t let him know it.

I didn’t want him to know it.

“Sorry, Turner, but I can’t. I’m going out with my roommate actually. We have some plans and she’s just getting ready.”

“You’re roommates with Sabrina right?”

I nodded.

“Well then we can go to breakfast and you’ll still be back in time to go out with her.”

“What do you mean?”

“Rumor has it that she takes forever to get ready.”

It was true, Sabrina did take forever. I was running out of reasons to say no.

“Turner, I just can’t, okay?” I said. “I can’t.”

“You can’t?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to!”

I don’t know why the words came out of my mouth and the moment that they were out I wanted to pull them back in. Turner was cute and funny. He had a great personality. So why wasn’t I jumping at the chance to go out with him?

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I’m sorry Turner.”

Putting my head down, I blindly walked away from him, only slightly aware that he was calling for me to come back. So much for the new me.

“You actually said that you didn’t want to go out on a date with him?!” Sabrina screeched as we sat at the café across the street from the college.

I winced and covered my ears with my hands. Passerby’s looked at us, frowning, and continued down the street.

“I actually said it,” I told her. “The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them really.”

“But why would you say no?” she asked. “I don’t understand. Turner is hot… Really hot! Plus, he’s a great kisser. You could definitely pick someone worse to be your first boyfriend.”

“You kissed him? And he should be my boyfriend?” I questioned. “Who said anything about a boyfriend? I don’t have time to worry about a boyfriend.”

“We kissed at a party, so what? And you’re pathetic. You’re not in high school anymore, Lily. You can’t hide behind your denim jumpers and converse high tops. If you want things to happen in your life you have to make them happen. There’s no more sitting on the sidelines. It doesn’t work like that.”

I wasn’t sitting on the sidelines…or at least I didn’t think I was. I was shy, what was so wrong with that?

“I can say the same to you. What are you doing except drinking and partying late at night. What do you want to happen in your life as a college student?”

Sabrina shrugged.

“I’m a freshman, I don’t have to figure that stuff out right now. And let’s face it, it doesn’t matter what I do. I’m a trust fund baby and my parents will always be there to pick me up if I screw up.”

“If only the rest of us could be so lucky,” I murmured as I drank my tea.

My mind kept flashing to Turner staring at me, asking me out.

Was I an idiot to say no? What if he really is as great as Sabrina says? Did I screw up my chance? I didn’t want to think like that. Was I supposed to just say yes? I barely knew him. But I could have given him a chance. I could have gone out on one date with him and it wouldn’t have been a big deal.

“Turner works at the bakery two doors down,” Sabrina said with a smirk.

“Yeah, and?”

“Don’t try to tell me that you’re not thinking about him. You think you made a mistake, don’t you?”

“Well…Yeah,” I admitted.

“So go make it better,” she suggested. “Go into the bakery and tell him that you were just shocked at his question. Tell him that you actually do want to go out with him. It’s not that hard.”

Yeah, for her maybe.

“Just walk up to him, all willy nilly?” I asked. “Isn’t that a little… Bold?”

“We’re not in the 1950’s anymore. We don’t have to sit in skirts, clean the kitchen, and then wait for a boy to call us.”

“Are you going to stand up and start charging now or is this the end of your speech?”

“Shut up,” Sabrina hissed. “If you don’t want to ask the boy out then don’t ask him out. But if you don’t, then I don’t want to hear you complain about any of that. Nut up or shut up.”

“Classy, Sabrina.” I stood up anyway and brushed the crumbs off my lap. “I’ll be right back.”

Clenching my hands into fists, I left the table and walked down the block to the bakery that Sabrina pointed out. My heart was racing and I felt like I was going to faint. I was never asked out by a boy, let alone asked one out. I had no idea what the protocol was for this type of thing. I was flying in there, blind.

Bells jingled as I pushed the door open and stepped inside. The air conditioner cooled off the shop and I found myself wrapping my arms around my body to keep warm. Turner was behind the counter, talking animatedly to an older woman. As he talked, she smiled and patted his arm. The hat she wore flopped over one eye and every few minutes he would push it back with his free hand. Finally Turner rang the woman up for her order and waved goodbye. I stepped to the side, letting her walk out of the bakery.