Without any need for further convincing, Finn pushed forward in a sudden thrust, pushing himself all the way inside of me and filling to the hilt. The movement was so sudden and sharp that it caused me to suck in a breath, and tears pricked at my eyes. Though slightly painful, I was deliciously full and already wanted more.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded my head. “More Finn. I need more.”

He slowly pulled out of me before surging forward again, touching that spot that was deep inside of me. His movements gradually became more rigorous. He would bring me right to the edge of orgasm and then he’d slow. I wanted to scream and cry and yell at him to send me into oblivion but I also didn’t want this feeling to stop. In the midst of Finn’s movement my carefully constructed wall began to crumble. Wanting to keep this as strictly sex between us was becoming difficult and I found myself wanting him to make love to me. His fast paced thrusting slowed to deep languorous movement.

I was feeling everything; from regret, sadness, hurt, doubt, happiness, elation, joy… but more than anything I felt love. I didn’t recognize it at first but when I did, I opened to it. I had shut down after I’d lost the baby. Being here in this room—and as close to Finn as I could possibly get—I knew I’d never stopped loving him. I hated myself for telling him that I blamed him. Tears started rolling down my cheeks and I began to feel my orgasm build again.

Just then Finn shifted. He sat up with his knees tucked under him. He put his hands under my ass and lifted my hips so they were in the air. My back was slightly bowed off the bed. At this angle he was able to move inside me even deeper than he had before.

“Don’t cry Tiny Girl.” He pulled out and pushed forward again. “Please don’t cry. Just give it all to me… be with me. Let me love you.” He said.

“Oh my god I’m going to come.” My body started to shake. My vision went hazy and my eyes rolled back.

“I love you Emilyn. I love you so much.” He ground out.

Knowing it was Finn’s beautiful body above me, loving me like this, I went over the edge. I screamed out his name and came. Convulsions wracked my body and waves of heat and pleasure tore through me. My insides gripped Finn’s hard length and I felt him falter. One more deep thrust and he came. His body pumping fast, short movements as my sex squeezed every drop from him. He groaned loudly saying something incoherent, but I don’t think I would have understood it anyway. I was limp and incapable of anything.

He collapsed on top of me. I ran my hands up and down the smooth skin of his back until his breathing evened out. When he recovered enough, he pulled back and slid out of me. I felt empty and I didn’t like it. He lay down on the pillow beside me reaching over to hold my hand.

“That was more than I could have ever of wished for. You are amazing.” He said with tenderness.

“What?” I said with a yawn.

He chuckled. “Can I ask you something?”

I turned to face him. “Yes.”

“Why did you come over while I wasn’t here?”

“Because I didn’t think I was ready to see you. Harper told me that you were at Ky’s parents' house. It wasn’t like I planned on waiting until you weren’t home, but when she told me I decided to take advantage of it.”

He nodded. I knew I’d hurt his feelings by doing it, but he didn’t say so. He was rubbing his thumb on the pad of my palm.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice your things were gone?”

“No. But I have to ask, why did you keep the room like we’d left it that day?”

“Because these are your things. I’ve told you before, this house is yours too, and that means that this is still your room. I’d hoped you’d come back, so I left it all the way that it was. If you’re asking me if I went through anything I didn’t, I swear.”

“Oh, I don’t care if you did, I have nothing to hide. I just wondered why, that’s all.” I paused, loving the sensation of his hand on mine. “How did you know that I was even here?”

“Your very useful friend went home and noticed that you weren’t there. She went out and checked the coffee shop, and since you weren’t there either, she called Ky to ask if he might know where you were. I overheard the conversation and ran out of the house. I honestly didn’t think I was going to find you here, but I was relieved when I pulled up and saw your car. You probably should have left a note for Harper.”

“I hadn’t even thought of that that.” My work excuse clearly would have been a bust.

His hair was drying in all different directions. I wanted to run my fingers through it. Instead of overthinking it as I usually would, I just did it. He closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation.

“Can I ask you something else?” He looked like he was going to ask me something that was a bit more personal than just my whereabouts.

“Yes.”

“Just now, while we were together, why the tears?” His face searched mine. Probably for any sign that I might get up and run. He deserved to hear what I had to say though.

I rolled to my side. “Okay, truth time. I’m sorry Finn. My reason for coming here and taking my things was for a bigger purpose. These past two months I’ve been shut off from the world moving forward how everyone expects me too. It’s exhausting!” I exhaled loudly, taking the time to choose my words carefully. “Want more truth?”

“Always.” He said.

“I don’t blame you Finn. That day that Val showed up, I looked at her and I heard her. What she said rang true with me, I wasn’t good enough for you. Deep down I knew she was right.”

His brows furrowed. “That’s a load of shit and you know it.”

I put my finger to his lips. “Wait, I’m not done talking yet.” When he stayed quiet I continued. “I didn’t feel like I was good enough for you Finn and I never have. In high school those girls who had more than I did, were prettier than I was, told me enough times that I believed them. I never looked at us like we were equals. When you left on grad night, I should have never let myself go. I realize now that I should have picked myself up and gone after what I wanted. Don’t you get it? I’m the one that I should have blamed all these years! I let you go too easy. If I had ignored all the petty talk around me I wouldn’t have let you walk away from me without a fight. Now here I am ten years later and I’m doing the exact same thing! I’m letting some trash-talking, blonde bimbo scare me away from believing that I deserved more in my life. This,” I motioned between us, “What we just shared is something that I’ll never forget.”

He swallowed hard and I saw his Adams apple move up and down. “It’s something that you can share with me anytime you want Em.”

My eyes softened. “I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through the past two months Finn. I’ve treated you so badly when you’ve done nothing but try to be there for me. Now don’t get me wrong, the lying and hiding things from me was not okay, but I accept your apology. But blaming you for losing my child and keeping you away from me is something that I’ll probably regret for the rest of my life. When my life was crashing down on me, you were my rock.” I paused to catch my breath. “What I’m trying to say to you is… I love you Finley Morgan, and I always have. You will always be the one great love of my life. Even after everything that has happened, over the course of ten years until right this moment, you will be my one and only.”

“Marry me Emilyn.”

My mouth dropped open. “What?”

“I said, marry me. I love you too. Be with me. Let me love you for the rest of our lives.”

I searched those piercing blue eyes for any sign that he was joking. He wasn’t, and I was about to crush him.

“Finn… I can’t.”

“Why not?”

I started crying. “The reason I’m telling you all of this is because I’m leaving. I’ve been thinking about this over the past few weeks and I think I need to leave and start over somewhere.” And before he could say what I knew he was going to I said, “Alone.”