Harper walked in and collapsed on the bed that is still covered in an all white quilt. I followed in behind her setting my suitcase by my dresser. I walked over to the bed and sat down next to her and looked around the open space. I had those cushioned girly looking pin boards hanging up with photos of family vacations, and throughout junior high and high school Harper and I had pinned on them. Some spots that had at one time held pictures of Finn, were now empty spaces because, I’d taken them down at Weston’s request. I’d explained that Finley and I were still friends and so I didn’t see any reason to take them down, but I think he could see right through me. He knew my history with Finn, and wouldn’t take much to see that I had other reasons for keeping them up. It had physically hurt when I unpinned them and put them in a plastic storage bin. They didn’t go too far though because I’d kept the bin under my bed so I could pull them out if I was feeling the need for an emotional beat down.
I used to think it wasn’t normal for me to still feel the way I did about Finn after so many years. But as almost a decade had passed and the hurt was still just as strong, I’d just learned to cope with it. I guess in a way I’d numbed the part of my heart that would always be his. I felt that familiar ache if I heard his name, or if I passed by someplace that held a memory for us. Harper figured that’s why I ran away to Chicago and got married so fast. I used to have dreams and aspirations to be a teacher, but they blurred and faded away when West came into my life. He wanted to take care of me and said I could make my life at home and be just as happy. That wasn’t case but I hadn’t done anything to change it. And that lingering hole in my heart remained, with no hope of it being filled.
Harper gently bumped my arm pulling me out of my haze. “Hey, so how’s the Windy City treating you? You and that husband of yours thinking of settling down with a herd of little brats yet?”
I rolled my eyes, “Harper, West couldn’t be further away from thinking about having kids. He knows I want them and I keep asking him when he’ll be ready but I think after making partner at the firm, he’s become complacent and might not ever want kids. I think he likes to only have himself to think about. Heaven knows he doesn’t think about me very much anymore.”
“Nothing has changed then since I came out to visit last month?”
“I either sit upstairs in my palatial bedroom all day watching Real Housewives re-runs or I’m down in the kitchen baking like my life depends on it. Do you have any idea how many cookies and cupcakes I’ve made and consumed in the past year? In fact,” I stood up, and turned around to try and see my own butt, “Maybe that’s my problem. My own ass has taken on a life of its own and my husband is no longer attracted to me. What do you think? Is my ass consuming my body?”
Harper started giggling and swatted my backside. “Honey if I had a butt like yours I’d be scraping more men off the floor. You’re so bootylicious that even I want to touch it. In fact I think I want to spank it again. Turn around so I can spank it some more.” She lifted her hand to smack me.
I squealed and jumped out of her reach. “Okay, okay enough already! I get it. But seriously, why is Weston acting like I’m the last person on earth? I’ve caught him a few times with a wandering eye. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. How do we snap out of this rut we are in? I’ve wondered if there was someone else but anytime I try to ask him, he acts as if I’m crazy and doesn’t want to talk about it. Subject closed!”
Standing up Harper came over to me and hugged me tightly. “Emmy there isn’t anything wrong with you, and I’m sure he still loves you. As much as I think the man can be a dick, married people always hit a wall, right? At least that’s what all the happy married people say. You’ll get through this.” She stepped back from me and looked me square in the eyes. “You’re beautiful, and you’ve always had the worst self-esteem of anybody I have ever met. Break out of this shell you’ve put yourself in and let you out. Seriously Emilyn, you don’t see yourself clearly. You have the biggest heart to go along with this incredible body”, she said as she moved her eyes and right hand up and down in the air in the front of me. “Now, to prove to you that you are every man’s wet dream let’s get ready and hit up the bar, I’m ready to shake what my Momma gave me.”
I laughed and shook my head, wiping away a stray tear. “Harper?”
“Hmmmm?”
“Thank you. You always know what I need and how to make me feel better. I love you.”
She winked and gave me that killer smile the men drool over. “No problem baby girl. Bring me your bag and let me see what you’ve packed and I’ll come up with something sexy to wear.”
Oh shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit!
I reluctantly rolled my suitcase over to her and unzipped the top and flipped it open. I swear Harper gagged at what she saw.
“What the fuck is this? Emilyn Paisley Tucker, why am I seeing Mossimo and Faded Glory in this bag?” she said with genuine disgust. “Oh Jesus I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.” Harper picked up a tan cardigan and matching camisole with her index finger and thumb like it was infected with some sort of contagious disease. I just shook my head at her and her pretentious self. “Seriously, what the fuck Em? I know West makes millions and you’re shopping at Target and Wal-Mart? Maybe this is the problem. These clothes do make your ass look like there’s a hundred cupcakes stuck to it.”
I shoved her aside, laughing. “Shut it! I love these clothes and I honestly don’t see any reason to spend five grand on a dress I’m only going to wear once. You can find really cute clothes at Wal-Mart. Like this,” I said holding up a short cropped mustard colored blazer. I started cracking up when she gagged again. “Do you need a puke bucket while you look through my bag?”
“No. In fact, I’m done. I can’t look anymore. I’m loaning you some of my clothes and we are totally going shopping tomorrow before we go to the reunion.”
I knew better than to fight with her, so I gave in and told her I’d let her dress me tonight and we would go and get an outfit for the reunion tomorrow. I just needed to try on some of her stuff since—given that we were so different in height—I’d more than likely end up in a dress. I already knew all of her pants would be too long.
Harper ended up pulling out a fun, shimmery sequin top that was black and tight. She matched it with a pair of dark jeans I had in my bag and red stilettos. After doing my make-up in a black smoky look that made my eyes stand out, and adding bright red lipstick she called me good. She decided that my hair was fine. I got up and looked in the mirror and stared at myself. I had to admit, I looked pretty hot. Or at least I felt sexy, which I think is what Harper wanted to accomplish. She threw on a cute black mini dress with some black heels, pinned her hair up and we both were ready to head out on the town.
“You’re going to dance this time, because I’m not dragging you out on the floor just for you to go running into the bathroom again. Got it?”
Being terribly shy, I didn’t like to dance much. But once I had alcohol in me and you might as well put me in front of a pole and start throwing dollar bills. However, the last time we went out I was the designated driver and I couldn’t be convinced to step foot on the dance floor. Harper decided to take it upon herself to physically yank me onto the floor. I ended up pulling free of her grasp, choosing to hide in the bathroom until she texted me, threatening to damage both my life and my beautiful car. I had to take her seriously because she had a history of random acts of violence towards males and their vehicles when she was drunk.