I shrugged my shoulders, “Eh, details.”

Smiling, she shook her head, her hair falling down around her shoulders. “So uh, is this umm…” She was struggling for words. “Is this going to be awkward now?”

My brows furrowed. “No, why would it be?”

Em sighed. “I don’t know. Isn’t it supposed to be when things like this happen?”

“Not unless we make it that way, and I don’t plan on doing that.”

“Hmm… alright.” She paused. “So what now?”

“Well, we could lay here and talk if you want.”

“I’d like that,” and she gave me the most dazzling smile.

Finn came back into my room with a glass of water. Earlier he’d noticed I was getting cold, so he got up and grabbed the blankets to cover me up. Sitting up holding the cover under my arms, I took a long drink of water, quenching my thirst.

“Mmm, thanks!” I set the cup down and scooted back down laying on my side, facing him.

“Welcome. So, when is your next appointment with Dr. Monroe? I can come pick you up from work and we can go together.”

“You don’t have to come with me Finn. They’re pretty boring anyway. They just take measurements, listen to the heartbeat, and then ask if I’m feeling okay before sending me on my merry way! Nothing you need to stop your day for.”

“I’m coming Em, no arguments. Just tell me when the appointment is.” His face was stern.

“Ok well if you insist. It’s tomorrow. Can you pick me up at noon?”

“Noon… got it!” He smirked at me like he’d just won a contest.

We were both silent for a short time, just looking at one another. He reached up and placed his palm on my cheek. I leaned into it.

“I’m going to be there for you and the baby Emilyn. I hope you know that.”

I opened and closed my mouth again, trying to think of how to phrase my next question without upsetting him. “I have to ask this question or else I’ll wonder.”

“Ask me anything.”

“Do you want to be there for us because you want to be, or because you feel responsible for what is going on in my life? Because if it is the latter, please don’t. I’ve already told you, it’s not your fault this happened.”

I watched his face carefully. He seemed to be trying to figure out how to answer. Hopefully it was a truthful one; but then again he hadn’t given me any reason to believe it would be anything but.

“I came here because I heard you were going through some things. The idea of being away from you when I could possibly help was something I couldn’t stomach. I came here because I want to be here with you. I asked you to move in with me because I want you to live here. I’m going to go to your appointments because I want to be there for you and this baby. Nothing I’m doing here is out of obligation.” He rolled over so he was leaning over the top of me. “I need you to listen to me when I say this. Are you hearing me?”

I nodded my head.

“Good. I’ll say this again and again until you believe it. I missed you Emilyn. I’m here to be with you. I’m not going anywhere, no matter what happens. Even if whatever happened between us tonight never happens again, I’m still going to be there for you. Whatever we have right now, and I’m not defining it because I’m not even sure what it is, it’s worth building on. Any crazy notion you have about me being here out of obligation needs to be squashed.”

There was nothing but truth in both his eyes and his voice. His sincerity was heartfelt. But I had more questions and I could tell he was reading the emotions flying across my face.

“What else is going on up here in this pretty little head?” He tapped his finger on my forehead.

“Hmm, well maybe a few things.”

“Shoot! Let’s just get everything out in the open now. I don’t want you walking around our house wondering things when I’m right here, and you can ask me anything.”

“Even if it brings up painful memories?” I was trying to force down the lump that was forming in my throat.

“What’s going on Tiny Girl? You look like you’re about to cry.” He leaned in and lightly kissed me. “I want us to talk about this stuff, even if it’s what happened back in high school. I gave you my explanation but I figured you probably had more questions.”

“Okay, here goes….” I took a deep breath. This was going to hurt, but these questions had been swimming around in my head since the talk that ripped open old wounds.

“Would you have followed your Dad’s advice about letting me go if he hadn’t died in that crash?”

He cleared his throat. “Boy you’re really going for it aren’t you?”

I shook my head, “Never mind. That was insensitive of me to ask. Let’s talk about something else.”

“Em,” He laughed. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. I was kidding around. To answer your question, I don’t know. I’ve asked myself that same question a hundred times. And every time I do, the one thing I keep coming back to is how much I regret taking the advice.”

“So why did you?”

“Another good one. At the time it just seemed right. I always looked up to my Dad as a smart, caring, gentle man. He was my mentor, he was my hero. The love that he and my Mom shared was legendary. I wanted what they had.”

The lump in my throat was too much to handle and tears sprang from my eyes, running down the side of my cheeks.

“So you let me go because you wanted to find someone else to love like your Dad loved your Mom?” Damn it, why did we start talking about this?

“No, you’re not understanding me Em. What I’m saying is, I thought it was best that I let you go live your life. I didn’t want us to have any regrets if we married right out of high school. I thought we would be stronger, better even, for seeing what was out there. I knew I wanted you for the rest of my life, but the idea of you thinking I’d trapped you, or us drifting apart as we grew older, killed me. It was never about finding someone else. You were my girl Emilyn.”

I was full on sobbing now. Trying to catch my breath, I decided it was best that I talked about what happened to me when he left. Maybe it would give me the closure I needed.

“Do you have any idea what I went through after you left?”

“I called around every once in a while to ask about you.” His face became pained.

“I couldn’t function Finley!” I pushed him off of me, and moved to put on a night shirt. I didn’t want to be naked in front of him right now—not when I was already feeling so exposed. When dressed, I turned around to face him. I leaned back on the dresser, and watched him lying on the bed, watching me in return. He looked like I had punched him in the stomach.

“I’m not telling you this to hurt you, but I need you to understand what it did to me. After that night, when you left me in that parking lot, life was no longer the same for me. You were ‘the one’ Finn. I loved you with my whole heart and I wanted nothing more than to just be with you. Even if we had stayed together until this very day, marriage was never the ultimate goal. I knew that then as much as I know it now. I had to be carried out of that parking lot. I barely remember the days that followed. I just remember the ache. I was a lifeless shell, a girl who couldn’t even get herself dressed every day.” I was hurting him. Finn was a strong man, but even strong men cry and I could see tears glistening in his eyes. “Nobody could snap me out of the state I was in. My Dad eventually gave me the option of working for him.”

“I knew you were having a hard time, but I didn’t know it was like that for you.”

“Every single part of me was broken. Any semblance of my heart was shattered, and I truly felt that nothing would ever make me whole again. I couldn’t even give my own husband my whole heart because it was with you!” I was shouting at him while the tears soaked my face.