Jessica giggled gently. ‘Jason keeps telling me I should tidy my side.’

‘Is there anything else?’

‘You had her personnel file.’

‘You checked my desk?’

‘Um . . . yes. It was after I thought you’d gone through my things. I had gone up to your office but it was empty and, before I knew what I was doing, I’d gone through your files.’

‘I guess I shouldn’t really be talking about correct protocol. I’d had that file for a while. Maybe it was a little paranoia on my part but she’d been talking about me leaving my wife. I didn’t know if I wanted to and I just did something stupid by checking up on her. With the kind of things you read in the papers, there’s always that nagging thought in the back of your head that someone’s after your money or whatever. I mean, look at her and look at me. She could have been my daughter.’

Jessica nodded but felt close to tears as the image of her friend’s face drifted into her head. ‘Why were you here?’ she said.

‘Paranoia, pure and simple. Ever since I saw someone had gone through my bins, I’ve been waiting for some sort of blackmail note or even someone to simply ask about it but it never came. Like I said, if anyone knew about our relationship, I figured it would be you but you hadn’t said anything. You had asked about her phone records, then nothing. But you’ve not been yourself the past few days, maybe longer. I thought I had seen your car around our estate once or twice. I’d convinced myself you were on to me and were going to try to expose the relationship to destroy my career. I didn’t even know what I thought I was going to do here, it’s not as if I was going to break in or anything. I guess I just wanted to see where you lived.’

‘So we’ve both been suspicious of each other this whole time?’

Farraday laughed this time, although it didn’t sound completely convincing. ‘Sounds like it.’ Jessica tried to smile but couldn’t force it. ‘Are you okay?’ her boss added. ‘I’m not trying to speak out of turn but . . . you look awful.’

‘I’ve been sitting outside your house almost every night since she died.’

‘You’ve what? Why?’

‘I’d wait on the wall of that house opposite yours, watching the lights and your gates. I don’t know why . . . I thought it was you. I guess I reckoned that if you weren’t leaving your house then no one else would get hurt.’

He shook his head, seemingly not quite able to grasp what she was saying. ‘I don’t even know what to say . . . I wish we had talked to each other.’

‘I know. I’m just so tired.’

Farraday pointed to the phone on the table. ‘I think I should leave now and maybe we’ll talk more tomorrow? If you want to hand that in and say where you found it, I won’t deny anything. Just get some sleep and come in when you’re ready. I’ll tell people you’re doing some work for me.’

Jessica wanted to say no but knew the one thing she needed above anything else was rest. ‘Will you call me if anything happens?’

‘Yes.’

She picked up the phone from the table and started playing with the sliding mechanism. ‘I’m not going to tell anyone about this but I don’t think I’m ready to let it go either.’

The chief inspector stood and put the towel back down on the table. ‘Get some sleep, Jessica, I’ll see you tomorrow.’

She showed her boss to the door and locked it behind him before walking into her bedroom. She took off her clothes and climbed under the covers. Jessica let her eyes close but couldn’t help but feel she’d forgotten something.

34

Jessica tried to look at the clock by the side of her bed but her eyes had a hazy greyness around them and she struggled to focus. Her arms were cocooned in the duvet cover and she twisted one way then the other to free herself, sitting up in the bed. The time soon came into focus.

1.43.

She rubbed her eyes and wondered why there was a faint light drifting through her curtains if it was the early hours of the morning before realising it was the afternoon and that she had slept for around sixteen hours. Jessica instantly snatched for her phone, hoping Adam had texted her. He had drifted into her dreams during the night but she had no idea how to fix things.

There were no text messages but there was an alert saying she had missed an alarm, which seemed pretty obvious. There were three missed calls, one from Farraday and two from Cole. She sat on the edge of her bed and dialled the inspector, who answered straight away. ‘Jess, are you okay?’

‘Yeah, fine. I’ve just had some bits to do. Were you after me?’

‘Farraday was. He told me to keep calling you and to get you to meet him when you answered.’

‘Why? Where is he?’

‘He’s at the hospital. John Mills came out of his coma yesterday evening and his doctors say he should be able to talk to us at some point today.’

Jessica could barely move quickly enough, grabbing some clean clothes from her wardrobe, dressing and driving to the hospital. As she parked in a proper bay, she thought it seemed like such a long time ago she had charged into reception after hearing Carrie had been hurt. So much had happened since then.

She tried to stay calm and followed the receptionist’s directions. As she kept an eye on the coloured lines on the floor and the signs on the wall, it occurred to her that a hospital always appeared far bigger on the inside than the out. One corridor led into other identical-looking corridors and eventually, after asking for directions from two other people, she found her way to a small ward that seemed miles away from where she had started.

There was a row of four seats outside a single door and Farraday was sitting on his own. He looked up as she approached. ‘Daniel . . . Jessica . . . how are you feeling?’

‘Good, I’ve slept all the way through from last night.’

‘You look better.’

‘What’s going on?’

‘He woke up late yesterday afternoon but the doctors had to do their tests and he needed more rest than you did. They’re shocked by how alert he is. Usually they’d make us wait but apparently he’s been asking for us.’

‘Really?’

‘That’s what the nurse said. They’re forcing him to take it easy for obvious reasons. His girlfriend was with him for a bit this morning so they said we couldn’t talk to him until this afternoon.’

‘He doesn’t come across as the type who usually talks freely to the police.’

‘No, but I presume no one’s tried to kill him before. Is everything okay after last night?’

‘I think so. It’s just going to take time to clear in my head. I’ve spent so long looking at you as the enemy.’

‘I’m sorry. I know I haven’t helped.’

‘I keep thinking I’ve forgotten something too. Something . . . important.’

‘About me?’

‘I don’t know.’

Their conversation was interrupted by a nurse walking through the door. She told them they could go through to speak to the patient but that they would have fifteen minutes and no more and shouldn’t push him on any thing. Farraday assured her they weren’t going to be grilling the patient and would let him do the talking.

John Mills had a private ward to himself. As they walked in, he was sitting up on a bed in the middle of the room. An empty gurney was next to him but they were separated by some equipment that was monitoring the patient. Jessica thought that the room, like the rest of the hospital, looked far larger than it actually was. The bright white walls reflected the overhead fluorescent strip lights, helping the illusion.

Jessica thought Mills must have had a shaven head when he was stabbed but there were now tufts of dark hair growing. He would have been fairly muscular at some point too but his body looked slightly out of proportion given the weight he must have lost in the past few weeks. As they entered, he shuffled further in his bed so he was fully sitting up.