‘Of course, I know. I didn’t mean that. You’re not going to get in trouble, are you?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘I’m so sorry, Adam.’

‘I’m sorry too.’

Jessica paused for a moment before continuing. ‘It’s just . . . I’ve fucked everything up. I didn’t know how to cope after Carrie died. There’s so much that’s happened. I’ve not slept, I can’t eat. I thought I knew what I was doing but now I’m worried I was wrong all along.’

She felt a lump in her throat and struggled to finish her sentence. ‘I think . . . I might have had a breakdown or something.’

Jessica felt tears in her eyes but didn’t fight them. ‘Adam?’ She took the phone away from her ear and looked down at a blank screen.

He must have hung up after saying he was sorry but she hadn’t heard the noise.

Her car was stopped by the side of the road with the headlights still shining forwards. Vehicles squeezed around her as rain smashed onto the roof and windscreen. As the front wipers thundered back and forth, squeaking their way across the glass, Jessica couldn’t hold back any longer and let the tears engulf her.

She realised there was so little rationality to what she had been doing. Most of what she thought she had on Farraday was circumstantial but there was still Carrie’s phone under her bed. It was an object she could hold in her hands, found in a place that couldn’t be explained. Not being able to figure out why it was there was the thing really haunting her.

It took what seemed like hours for Jessica to calm herself but it was likely just minutes. Cars continued to manoeuvre around her, some tooting their horns, as the rain eased off slightly. Jessica settled back into the driver’s seat and indicated to pull away.

She felt as lonely as she ever had on the journey back to her house.

Her relationship with Caroline hadn’t been the same for over a year, Carrie was gone and she had destroyed things with Adam. Her parents had recently retired from running a post office in Cumbria but this wasn’t the type of thing she would ever share with them and she felt she had no one to talk to.

She drove much slower than she usually would, taking her time and forcing herself to concentrate on the road. It was almost dusk as she pulled into her parking space. She didn’t know if she was going to go to Farraday’s house that evening any longer, thoughts swirling in her head about what she should do next. She switched the engine off and got out, slamming the door behind her and walking to the entrance to her building. Jessica reached into her pockets to find her keys but her eyes were drawn to a movement over to her right. She stopped and squinted at the bushes that surrounded that side of the property and thought she could see a figure.

Jessica stepped onto the grass towards them but, as soon as she did, whoever it was bolted backwards. The light was dim with the street lights just beginning to come on as the sun set but something about the person’s build and the way they moved seemed familiar. Jessica started running after them without thinking, ignoring the pain she was still feeling in her ankle from jumping over Farraday’s gate.

The figure had turned and run around the hedges and Jessica followed about thirty yards behind. They dashed towards the woodlands that backed onto her housing development and jumped a small chain-link fence that separated the two areas. Wincing as she did the same, Jessica tried to avoid landing on her ankle but wasn’t able to manage it.

The rain had slowed to a light drizzle but the ground was soaking and her feet slid around the moss and overgrown grass. The person in front was struggling to keep their balance too and, after first looking as if they were going to head towards the trees, veered back left towards the fence. They used one hand on the barrier to help keep their balance, moving as quickly as they could along its length.

Jessica followed and knew she would usually be faster if it wasn’t for her ankle. She was also struggling to keep her grip because the path had already been churned up by the person ahead. As she gained a few yards, Jessica knew for sure it was a man. He was around six feet tall and his height should have given it away in the first place but her mind wasn’t feeling sharp. A mixture of the lack of sleep and minimal food was beginning to hurt. She tried shouting ‘hey’ but felt exhausted.

The man ahead kept to the fence line and then used both hands to propel himself back onto the other side, landing in a car park that served a block of flats next to where Jessica lived. As he landed, Jessica watched him look around, not knowing where he was, before heading towards where she knew there was a dead end.

Jessica jumped the fence herself and landed awkwardly on her ankle, involuntarily yelling out in pain. She looked up and the man glanced backwards but the near-darkness meant she couldn’t see his features clearly. She forced herself back to her feet and drove forwards following the person, knowing he could only run for another hundred yards or so before reaching an enclosed area where the complex’s giant metal bins were kept. She stumbled forwards, letting his lead increase, and entered the wide alley behind him.

Slowing to a walk, Jessica moved further down the opening. There was an orange security light on the left but otherwise the area was dark. Jessica edged forwards looking from side to side but then stepped backwards as the man took a pace out from the shadows of the trash containers.

The light wasn’t brilliant but there was no doubt about the identity of the person stood in front of her. ‘Good evening, Daniel.’

Jessica stared. When she had started chasing, she hadn’t been completely sure about who she was pursuing or why she was running but something instinctively told her to act. She realised she had no plan, no weapon and, given the pain in her ankle, no way to turn and make a bolt for it. In a period of time defined by bad decisions, she had just run into a dead end and was now facing the imposing figure of DCI Farraday towering over her.

‘What are you doing at my house?’ Jessica asked, trying to sound confident.

‘Is that really the question you want to ask me?’

He took another step forwards, his face now clearly lit. He was still dressed in his work clothes and it now seemed obvious why he had asked her to stay late – he was planning to search her house the way he’d hunted around her office. She moved her weight from her sore leg to the other, desperately trying not to show she was in pain, and took a deep breath.

Jessica knew he was right, there was only one question she wanted to ask. ‘Why did you have Carrie’s phone?’

The chief inspector looked directly at her, his eyes narrow. ‘You really shouldn’t have gone looking for it.’

33

Jessica felt frozen to the spot, droplets of rain dribbling from her nose. She gave a slight shiver as Farraday took another step towards her. She felt ready for whatever was going to happen, her mind tormented by everything that had occurred. As Jessica looked back up at her boss, she wasn’t prepared for the scene in front of her.

He had started to cry, his large frame bobbing up and down with each sob as he wiped his eyes. Jessica could see the small cut on his face where she had nicked him. It had largely healed but there was still a slight red mark.

His voice was shaky as he tried to speak. ‘It’s not that you shouldn’t, I guess. I knew someone had found it but I didn’t know who it was. I wanted someone to come and ask me about it but no one did and then I was stuck because I couldn’t admit where it had gone.’

Jessica didn’t understand what he was trying to say. He wiped his eyes and coughed loudly into his sleeve. ‘I don’t . . .’ Jessica started.