61

INTRODUCE HER TO VOYEURISM

A lot of men have written me over the years about wanting to watch their wives have sex with other men. My personal theory on why a man would want to watch his wife with another man is that he is secretly bored with their physical relationships and needs reassurance that his wife is still desirable. I know dozens of marriages that actually would be strengthened if the wife could go out and get marvelously laid about once a month or even just once a year. Unfortunately, few men could handle this situation, although many of those same men would think nothing of employing a call girl for their own pleasure while on the road.

“Many men would like to see their wives, at least one time, being done by another man. They fantasize about it, they obsess about it, but for most, it stays in fantasy land. Most just don’t know how to get there.”

—Xaviera Hollander,

Penthouse Letters

, August 1987

Voyeurism is supposedly a masculine art, but I got enough letters over the years from women who participated and enjoyed it immensely that I know that neither sex has exclusivity on this fetish. I’m not much of a voyeur myself, but after receiving so many letters from voyeurs, I began to wonder what the thrill was.

I couldn’t quite figure out the phenomenon of voyeur husbands until I tried it myself—that is, I watched my young male lover screw my young female lover. And then I understood.

I was living with a young male ballet student, and occasionally we got into things with another man or woman, or both. After a little foreplay one night, I feigned a headache and said I’d rather watch than actually participate. This surprised my lover, but he consented to make love with my girlfriend for the night, while I simply watched. Now of course I’ve watched him fuck other women while he’s either fingered me or performed cunnilingus on me, but this was a totally different experience. I did nothing but watch. The best part was watching him shove his cock in and out of her pussy. I knew how he felt to her because I’d taken what he had so many times; a long, thin cock that could hit the spot like no other. My friend screamed with delight, and afterward she said the experience was doubly exciting because I was watching her get fucked by my own lover.

When she said that, I practically creamed in my jeans. Not only did I have to have my own lover right then and there (to show him that I was the better fuck, perhaps), but I also wanted to masturbate my friend. Somehow, I just had to feel her up where my lover, only moments before, had made love to her. Yes, sir, voyeurism can be a very erotic act and now I get it.

62

TICKLE HER FANCY

Tickling is a very common form of foreplay, and most men who have a fetish for tickling know that they are going to have to do more than get the girl in bed, whip out a feather, and say, “And now, my dear, I’m going to tickle you pink.”

Try kissing her nipples, underarms, neck, ribs, belly, and feet; and after each kiss, gently tickle that part of her body with your fingers. Don’t say anything—just do it! But don’t linger too long over any one part of her body. Kiss and tickle her nipples for a few seconds and then move on to her ribs, and so on. That way she’ll just think you’re a superb lover.

If she responds positively to your tickling, you’ve got a ticklee on your hands, and then you can become more open about your fetish. But if the girl should say “Hey, stop that—you’re tickling me!” you can always cover yourself with the line, “Oh, I’m sorry . . . I was just kissing and massaging all the nooks and crannies of your beautiful body.”

If this should happen and you are rejected, please don’t be embarrassed or feel ashamed of your fetish. It’s really very harmless and not at all uncommon. Some people are just too uptight to understand; others just don’t find it erotic.

You’ll discover, however, that most women find a mild degree of tickling to be very erotic.

If I were to be the tickler (versus the ticklee), I’d first tie my victim spread-eagled on my bed. Then I’d arrange a variety of props to use. For instance, I’d certainly have a fluffy feather, a fringed tassel of silk rope, a steel hairbrush, and, of course, my long, hard fingernails. I would not limit myself to her feet. I’d also work on her armpits, flanks, and especially her sacred portal. Part of the time she’d be blindfolded so that she couldn’t see which part of her body I’d tickle next.

63

IF GOLDEN SHOWERS ARE ON YOUR LIST . . .

When it comes to living out golden shower fantasies, it’s fair to try to enroll your partner in the game, but if after several attempts you can’t convince, don’t insist. Find other ways. In one of the early 2000 issues of Penthouse, they had pictures of beautiful women with their legs spread, peeing. Although it upset some readers, many more reported finding it delightfully kinky.

There’s a porn video in my collection in which a well hung guy, after ejaculating in his lady’s mouth, starts to pee, still with an erection. He continues for a truly remarkable length of time, while she uses his penis like a shower head, spraying her breasts, her pussy, and the rest of her body. Just goes to show that there are plenty of people who appreciate the 24-karat experience. Many women are reluctant to participate in such sports, so I recommend that if you want your wife or girlfriend to play, start slowly. Ask her to let you watch her pee and when she gets used to that, move on. Next ask her if she’ll pee on you in the shower, or let you do the same to her, depending on your preference. And then remember the old adage “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make her drink,” and if after all your efforts she still doesn’t want to do it, then don’t.

There is nothing uncommon about a man’s desire to pee on his partner. This is called “urolagnia.” Hedgehogs prepare for copulation by peeing on each other. When a female mare is in heat, her urine contains a maximum concentration of female hormones. This may be one reason why some males take pleasure in sniffing female urine. Some men enjoy watching a woman urinate while squatting, as it is a symbol of her sex. Some urolagnists receive ineffable masochistic pleasure from being sprayed with urine, or even forced to drink it (I wouldn’t recommend this, but I know it happens).

Urolagnia is rarer in women. I say, however, that there have been times that I have truly enjoyed taking off my suit on a beach and peeing in front of four men. As they masturbate, I quite often spray a little urine on their cocks. On occasion I have enjoyed a shot of urine against my own clitoris.

64

OTHER FINE FETISHES TO INCORPORATE INTO FOREPLAY

I was interviewed by a South African journalist once, while vacationing in Holland. I was staying at my mother’s house. The journalist was sitting across from me on the couch as I sat in a high swivel chair. I believe my mother was making a cup of tea for us. It was a hot summer afternoon. I was very tan, wearing a light green dress and matching, high-heeled open sandals. My toenails were painted a bright red to match my fingernails.

While the man was interviewing me, I noticed that when the conversation stopped every now and then, his eyes would automatically go to my feet. I knew then that I had a foot fetishist in front of me.

He kept glancing at my feet and so I began to make little movements with my toes. (You might say I was toeing the line). After about ten minutes of this, the poor guy dropped his pencil and pad. He dropped to his knees and began caressing my feet. I stuck out my leg so that he could take my right foot in his hand and lick it with his tongue. It drove me wild, but at that moment my mother walked into the room. She almost dropped the tray of cookies and tea, and she threw the journalist out of her house.