58

EXPAND THE PARTNERSHIP TO INCLUDE A THIRD PARTY

For many couples, marriage becomes dull after a few years and in order not to cheat or spend a lot of household money on porn or other alternative entertainment, many have chosen to have a third or fourth partner join in on the sexual fun. Often it starts totally harmlessly enough: the wife gets visited by the neighbor, male or female; they start chatting and eventually end with playing versions of harmless or not so harmless games. Games may be fun but then (old story) the husband walks in and catches them in on the act.

Either he gets jealous and mad, or he gets turned on and wanks off secretly, or in the end joins in on the action. Men generally like to see two women make out.

“The bonds of wedlock are so heavy that it takes two to carry them, sometimes three.”

—Alexander Dumas

Today’s “metro-men” are not nearly as homophobic as the ones I grew up with and so there is a growing tendency for hetero men to experience homosexual encounters. Though at orgies, it is still much rarer to see two men at it than two or more women.

Even very straight-laced and conservative couples sometimes arrange for a third, just to spice things up now and again. In today’s liberal environment and with the advent of the Internet, it is not so uncommon for a husband to “order up” that big, tough black man for his wife to fuck on her fortieth birthday.

For those of you who are wondering, “What do we do together, exactly?” I’ll give you a hint about one position that I find incredibly erotic. I call it “the sandwich screw.”

It takes a very versatile, flexible, and sex-loving woman plus two good male lovers to make a perfect “sandwich.” It so happens that I have experienced this kind of lovemaking, including when I had more than two men in bed with me and another woman, so it was more like an orgy, but the positioning is for two men and a woman. I had a wonderful time just watching the proceedings between the girl and the guys. One of the guys was lying on his back with my girlfriend on top of him, her back towards his stomach as he slowly penetrated her anus. Meanwhile, another guy was fucking her in the vagina. To top it all, the third guy was leaning over her face, while she sucked his cock. Believe me, that was a hot night in Toronto!

Of course, it is very important that both men have good timing and good rhythm so that their movements are synchronized. Try it on a rainy Sunday afternoon. I can’t think of a better pastime.

A lot of people, men and women, crave being with two people at the same time. This is natural for people with high libidos and if you are lucky enough to be living with a very sexual person, then you should consider adding a third to the bedroom scene now and again, to satisfy that craving for her and for you.

Picking up partners together can be much more fun and exciting and successful, provided it is done naturally. For instance, you do not necessarily have to mention that you are married or partnered to each other. You could just be a good friend who likes women. This way you can share partners who suit both your tastes, and the new girl will not feel guilty about intruding on a stable marriage or relationship.

You could both participate in seducing a woman. While he chats with her, you could arrange the drinks, put on a suitable record, and lower the lights. In other words, one of you could be in charge of mood-setting and the other in charge of entertaining. You could run a nice bubble bath and set out a candle with two or three glasses of wine or champagne in the bathroom for that great moment when you all decide to step out of your clothes and frolic around in the water.

Here are some things to consider if you are planning to expand your relationship. Many men have written me after having opened their marital relationship to a third partner, a second woman. They ask how they can go about making it permanent. I tell them to ask themselves some simple questions first. Is it the open marriage you want, the threesome, or is it that you are tired of your relationship with your wife? If it is the latter, I say don’t proceed. Just like you shouldn’t bring children into a bad marriage, you shouldn’t invite a third into a relationship permanently if that base relationship isn’t good. If the relationship at home is good and the wife is willing (in other words, she likes the threesome thing too and wants to make it more permanent), then the next question to ask yourself is “Can I eat cake every day?” Any man would be happy to have a great marriage and a little extra “treat” now and again with an extra woman in the bed. You perhaps should be happy with that. After all, what happens when we eat cake every day? We get fat and our teeth fall out.

59

PARTICIPATE IN AN ORGY

I once hosted an orgy of about thirty-six people, including a dozen or so of the old-time swingers, the rest were newcomers to the group sex game. For the first few hours any outsider would have thought that it was a normal party, because everybody kept their clothes on and didn’t know how to get the ball rolling. At midnight I served some hot food and snacks and announced, half-jokingly: “Ladies and gentlemen, since this party was supposed to be an orgy, I now announce the food is ready and we can all eat or fuck, or fuck what we eat or whom we eat, but I suggest each lady start undressing at least the upper half of her partner’s torso.”

“The most exciting of all for a man must be when he is on his knees bent forward, supporting himself with his hands, and while one woman fondles his balls, the other sucks his cock. Just thinking about it makes me wish I was a man right now—with two chicks doing it to me, of course.”

—Xaviera Hollander,

Penthouse Letters

, November 1988

And so, sometimes with effort, sometimes with finesse, the men got their shirts and sweaters and scarves peeled off. Then I announced that the men do whatever they wanted to the women. Soon there was a mutual stripping of clothing. The sexiest girls were the ones who kept on a tiny piece of clothing—a shawl, a long string of pearls, or maybe a garter belt and stockings (nobody wore bras). The amazing thing was that the new swingers who had never publicly undressed before became uninhibited in this crowd of people; the loss of inhibitions seemed to be contagious.

The next day I got many enthusiastic phone calls from people who had finally overcome their jealousy of their partner’s having sex with others—as long as it remained under their close supervision and was completely sexual. Remember, your woman can call the shots on how, when, where, and just how much, but you are going to have to take that first step.

60

DO IT IN A PUBLIC PLACE

Many men have the fantasy of doing it with their girlfriends in public places, or driving down the highway with her naked body exposed, or fingering her in a highway traffic jam with a trucker watching from the next lane.

When I was in Brazil for Carnival, I happened to be riding in a car with five young Brazilian playboys. I was wearing a flimsy, low-cut dress, and since it was extremely hot, I hadn’t put on a bra or panties. While two of the boys fondled and fingered me, a third had pulled down the strap of my dress to kiss my tits. We had a jolly time, especially when a local bus loaded with adults and children passed by. The banging against the glass and the screams of excitement from the windows of the bus made me have an orgasm on the spot, my pussy exposed in the wind. If your girlfriend or wife is skittish about this, then start her out slowly—with semi-private places, like the woods, and work your way up to the highways and bi-ways. (Don’t be stupid though; don’t try to drive and fuck at the same time. See my warning under the chapter entitled “Make ‘Make-Believe’ Danger.”)