“Calm down, Ads. I’m right here.” He covers my hands with his to stop my maddening movements.

I try to move my hands under his, but it’s useless, he’s too strong, too overpowering.

“Ta-take . . . ti-t-tie . . . off,” I stutter as I concentrate on calming breaths. “Please, Jax, I can’t do this,” I finally manage to spit out after a minute or two.

He removes my hands away from the back of my head and rubs my arms up and down in a soothing gesture. I hate that it works.

Leaning his forehead against mine he says, “Listen to me, I know this is impossible for you, but I also know you need to overcome your fear.”

A dry humorless laugh escapes me. “Me afraid of water? Really, how is that even possible? I know how to swim better than most fish!” I shout.

“You’re not afraid of the water, Ads, that’s impossible for someone like you. You’re afraid of all the memories the water will invoke. You’re afraid of remembering all the happy times.” He pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly. “You’re afraid of wanting to be in the water, afraid of wanting to swim again, of enjoying it.”

“I hate you.”

“You’re afraid if you get back in the water, you won’t be able to get out and you won’t be able to punish yourself anymore.” I suck in a breath as if he punched me in the gut. “You force yourself to hate the one thing that you’ve always loved because you think it’s the only way to punish yourself for surviving when Andy, Quinn, and Hadley died.”

I punch his chest. “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!” My voice breaks, but I don’t stop hitting him. He lets me.

My arms drop lifelessly to my sides while Jax holds me to him, rocking us gently. I shake my head as if just that simple act will create a barrier from his words.

“You’re wrong,” I whisper, voice hoarse from screaming.

“Prove it,” Jax says just as quietly against my forehead.

My next breath comes out shaky. My legs tremble. Luckily I’m leaning against the solid rock that is Jax or I would be on the floor. I don’t know how much time passes, it feels like seconds, but I know it’s minutes as I stand in his strong embrace, borrowing strength.

“Fine.”

I feel his smile against my forehead.

Fine? You can’t do this. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Sealing my fate, I open my eyes and blink from the sudden brightness. Once I can focus without seeing spots, I realize that the lights are normal, I was just squeezing my eyes for too long. I stare at my bare feet, needing another moment before this becomes all too real. Oh look, my nail polish is chipped. Yeah, that doesn’t distract me at all. Jax waits by my side while I gain the courage to do something I never thought I would ever consider doing again.

You can still run. No! I’ve been running for the past six years. I need to do this. I’m forced to come face-to-face with my worst nightmare . . . a pool.

My feet move on their own accord, and bring me to the edge of the indoor pool in Jax’s building. There are five lanes, and at least a 15 person spa to the side. It’s nice, it’s also the only time I’ve ever been up here. I usually make an excuse to not join the guys at the pool. They stopped asking over the years. They got the hint that I don’t like being around large amounts of water. Well, everyone except Jax, of course. Speaking of Jax, where did he go?

I scan the area. My mouth falls open as Jax removes his shirt and throws it on a lounge chair piled with two towels. Holy-hotness, I so did not think he planned on us getting in. Okay, maybe I did, hence the minor freakout, but I didn’t realize I’d get in a pool with a half-naked Jaxon Chandler.

I don’t even care when he turns around and sees me drooling on myself over him. It’s impossible to close my mouth. I must look like a coke junkie without her fix. I can’t focus on one particular part of his anatomy. My eyes roam as fast as they can over his body; his muscular chest, down to his defined abs that I’ve mapped out with my tongue, and finally over his long arms covered in tattoos. His artwork is so sexy, especially since you can’t see it when he’s dressed for work. It reminds me of a treasure hunt that I want to explore. I want to find ‘x’.

It’s amazing how he can make all of my problems float away.

Jax struts to me with the biggest shit-eating grin I’ve ever seen. Can’t blame him, though, I would look like that too if someone stared at me how I’m staring at him. I watch the way his muscles move with each step. It’s mouthwatering.

“Are you ready? Or do you need me to walk around a little longer for you?”

“That depends . . .”

“On?”

“If you’re going to give me a little show.”

To my amazement, he turns and wiggles his taut butt for me. I laugh even though the thought of going into the water makes my throat start to close. He knows exactly what he’s doing . . . distracting me . . . it’s working. I force myself to relax and seem aloof.

“Oh please don’t, if I have to watch you shake that big fat thing you call an ass, I may throw up on you again.”

Jax presses his lips together to fight his smile. “Yes, that’s what you were doing, trying not to throw up, not trying to control yourself from throwing yourself at this sexy body.” He points to his rock hard eight pack in case I forgot it was there. I didn’t.

Hesitantly, I follow Jax to the steps of the pool, firmly holding onto his hand. When his foot touches the water, I pull back to stop him.

“I can’t,” I choke out.

Jax gives me the most breathtaking smile. “Yes you can, Ads. Trust me.”

I bite my lip. I can do this. I inch toward him. This is for them. This isn’t for me. Make them proud. I place my shaking hand back into his and take the final step, the first step into the heated water. I’m doing this for me. I close my eyes and relax into Jax. I let him guide me into the warm water. At the second-to-last step, the water reaches my thighs so I gather up my—

“Where’s my dress?” I ask when I realize that I’m not wearing what I arrived in tonight. Instead I’m in one of his button-ups.

When did he change my clothes? How did I just now notice?

“I didn’t want throw-up on my sheets. Plus you kind of smelled.”

What a load of bull. I didn’t throw up on myself. No, Jax had that pleasure. Arguing with him would be pointless, though.

“Thanks.”

I yank the stupid clean, wonderful-smelling shirt to my panty line and continue walking into the pool with Jax.

“You ready?” he asks into my ear. I nod, letting him lead me deeper into the water.

Tears fill my eyes when we reach the middle of the pool, but I quickly squeeze them closed, refusing to let them fall. I will not cry, I never cry. Taking a deep breath, I dive underneath the water with Jax by my side.

Memories assault me so quickly it’s hard to concentrate on a single one. I let go of Jax’s hand and sink the rest of the way to the bottom until I’m at the pool’s floor. I relive the first time I ever saw the ocean, swimming in my backyard, training, and when I would sneak into our pool at night during a rainstorm with Jax.

My hair floats around me. I move my hands back and forth in front of me and smile at the feel of my hands gliding in the water. Suddenly my peaceful moment is broken and I’m pulled to the surface.

“Adalynn, are you okay?” Jax shouts as he runs his hands over my face and down my throat to check my pulse.

I laugh at his absurdness. “Really, you’re checking my pulse? What’s the matter with you?”

I splash him with my feet as I backstroke away from him. I love how easily my body remembers the movements of the strokes, effortlessly carrying me away from him. Jax gives me a puzzled look as he studies me. Then a smile spreads across his luscious lips.

“You were down there for a pretty long time. I didn’t like it.”