“I don’t care,” I said shakily, the desperation in my voice pulling his eyes to mine.

“Please tell me you know I didn’t mean it,” he said, pulling me tightly to him. “I hurt you and I hurt me. You are everything to me,” he whispered as I held him close. I nodded into his shoulder as he whispered another apology. “I worship you. You know that. I’m so proud to be your husband. I was jealous and an idiot.”

“Stop, Jayden, stop,” I said, pulling away to search his eyes. He nodded in understanding, because in the end we both knew it wouldn’t be the last time.

“Jayden!” I screeched from the couch as he was cooking.

“What?” he said, poking his head out and looking at me as if I’d grown another.

“I’ve found it!” I jumped off the couch, heading his way. His blue eyes followed me with question as I wrapped myself around him. “I’ve found my dream job.”

“Really?” he said with a smirk.

“Yep, and I’m not telling you. You’ll have to guess.” I turned away from him and started walking back to my laptop.

“Can I guess after I peel your burning dinner from the pan?” Rolling my eyes, I returned to my laptop.

After dinner and Jayden’s horrible attempt at guessing, I finally told him.

“So several months ago I realized our website at work was completely outdated. Marcy asked me to look into getting a new one designed and take over the social media accounts they had been neglecting,” I said, sipping on my wine. “So instead of hiring someone out to design it, I figured it out myself and started doing PR for the travel agency. In less than two months, their social network profile reached an amazing amount of new clients and we got more than twice the normal hits on our new interactive website than they had ever had. And the amazing thing is, is that I loved doing it.”

“You’re going into marketing?”

“Strictly marketing. I’m good at all things media. The possibilities are endless. I can promote and network for anyone from small businesses, big corporations, down to indie authors, and maybe even new faces in entertainment. I’ll do it for people who are too busy to set up and network for themselves. I can even help bring the last of the dinosaurs incapable of doing their own online PR into 2015. It’s not an original idea, but it’s profitable. There’s plenty of earning potential if I get a good client base. I’ve already started on a list of services. And the best part is I can totally do this and work from home and set my own hours, be my own boss. I can start it here at home and gradually build up until I can quit the agency!”

He sat and listened as I rattled on with excitement.

“So what do you think?”

“I say of course. Yes, do what makes you happy. I’m behind you one hundred percent.” I leapt from my seat and into his arms. “I found it, Jayden. I really want this. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before!”

“And what will you call this venture?” he asked, snaking his arms around my waist.

“Monroe PR, of course,” I said, giving him a wink. His eyes lit up as he pulled my lips to his.

“What a great name.”

I kissed him back with a sigh. “The best.”

A week later, Jayden and I were racing down the highway as I attempted to put my face on. “Slow down, okay? I don’t want to die to be on time to a cocktail party.” I busied myself with mascara. Leisure Travel, specifically Marcy, was throwing a cocktail party at her home for employees. It was a semi-annual thing they threw just to let us know we were appreciated. In addition, they invited their best clients to showcase their newest travel packages and give them first dibs on the deep discounts that were offered exclusively to them. Jayden and I were running an hour late due to a late delivery.

“Babe, stop fucking with your makeup and give me the directions,” Jayden bit out, already irritated with the situation. I’d spent the last ten minutes explaining to him the importance of the party and who would be there. He continued to ask me over and over how long it would last and insisted we would look bad for being late and should skip it altogether. He was nervous and I could tell, but it was practically mandatory since I was one of only three employees and I had to at least make an appearance.

“I have only one eye with mascara. Just listen to the GPS, she’s sounding them off.”

When Jayden missed the exit, I stopped my wand. “Damn it, Jayden, you missed the exit. The next one is miles away!”

“I told you I needed you to help me!” he snapped.

“The GPS was doing a fine job. Now we are going to be really late!” I knew better than to get angry with him. In all honesty, I should have been ready when he got home, but I’d been digging through his closet to find something presentable for him to wear. I apparently needed to find my husband a decent suit.

Jayden bit out a curse and took the next exit, speeding through it and cutting cars off.

“I don’t even know any of these fucking people.”

“You know Adam. You can hang with him,” I offered, still busying myself with my makeup. “Jayden,” I addressed him calmly. “It’s fine. It’s a cocktail party. They are probably three drinks in already and won’t care one way or another if we are there. We’ll make it. Take your time.” When he sped up, I began to panic. “Jayden, slow down.” When he cut off another car and the driver on the receiving end came dangerously close to hitting us in retaliation, my panic increased.

“Not okay, Jayden. Chill out!” He ignored me, slamming on the gas once we entered the freeway, and that’s when I let go. “Damn it to hell, Jayden, stop this fucking truck right now!” I turned to him as he ignored me and screamed louder. “Now! Stop the truck now!”

Jayden pulled over to the side of the freeway, sweat pouring from his forehead. He grabbed his travel mug out of the console and slammed it against the steering wheel. I ducked as some of the stale liquid danced across the dash, spilling onto me and all over the console. When the mug split in two, he kept hitting the dash until it crumbled around his fingers. I jumped out of the car onto the shoulder of the highway and watched him with my heart pounding in my chest as cars whizzed by. It had been at least six months since his last outburst. We had been perfect...solid. I had slipped into the carefree zone again. I stood watching him, mouth open in shock as he surveyed the destroyed ‘immaculateness’ of his cabin. When he was exhausted, he leaned back in his seat, eyes closed.

When a few minutes had passed, I pushed up my figurative sleeves.

“Get over. I’ll drive,” I offered as calm as I could muster. Jay slowly opened his eyes and looked at me still standing on the shoulder of the highway, staring at him through my open door, my white satin skirt covered in coffee. The regret in his eyes was instant. “I’ll drive,” I insisted as he moved to the passenger seat without a word, looking completely exhausted.

I took a deep breath, fastened my seat belt then began the drive home. Jayden looked at me a few minutes into our drive, an apology on his lips as I voiced my disappointment. “We can’t even make it to a two hour cocktail party?” Sighing, Jayden sat back as I began to fume.

 

 

A few days later, I was sitting at the dinner table fidgeting with my food when Jayden called me on it.

“Babe, you aren’t eating,” he said, picking up his tea and taking a sip.

“I’m sorry, I’m distracted,” I said, quickly picking up my fork. He gave me a small smile.