“I’m horny, Jase. Can we finish fucking?” Angel asks, not in the least disturbed by what just went down. She gazes at me with glassy eyes. “Are you staying?”

“Yeah.”

“With me and Jase?”

“No,” Jase says, brushing past her and taking her hand. “Let’s get you inside before you freeze.”

“That girl was so pretty. I wanted to touch her.” She pouts. “She smelled so good, too. Like one of those classy perfume stores.”

“Cacharel Anaïs Anaïs,” he murmurs.

“What’s that?”

Jase leans down, running his nose along Angel’s neck. “It’s French.”

“I want some,” she sighs. “I want to smell like her.”

“Too innocent for you,” he says, and I have to wonder if he’s talking to himself or to the female in his arms.

“I want her.”

“She’s forbidden, remember.” Yeah, he’s completely talking to himself.

Angel pouts even more. “Him, too.”

“Yeah. Him, too.”

Her full lips turn down. “Maybe you’ll have friends over later who aren’t?”

Jase glances at me. I hold up my hands. “Your house. No judgment. I only want to crash until Sunday.”

He gives me a grateful look. “Yeah, we’ll get you some friends,” he says, tugging her upstairs. “But, this time, we stay in the bedroom.”

“She watched for a long time.”

“Too long,” Jase said, and, turning to me, cleared his throat. “Make yourself at home. Pantry’s stocked.”

Make myself at home in the house that had been my second home while I grew up. I look around the kitchen and smile a little. Nothing has changed. Despite Jase’s ragged appearance, he is OCD about cleaning. He hates dirt, and I think being in prison probably made it worse.

I hear a rhythmic creaking, but other than that and Angel’s calling out his name and God’s, the house is quiet. Pulling my earbuds from my bag, I tuck them in and blast music from my phone.

Growing up, this place had always been full of people, and I had always worried about Rowan’s safety. But Jase had taught her how to defend herself. And, as much as he could, he watched her like a hawk.

I think I’m the only guy to ever have dated her without getting my ass handed to me. Then again, he knew I loved and respected her. Still do, in fact. I make my way to the other side of the house, to the room in the back. At one time this huge house had been someone’s pride and joy. It’s enormous, about five thousand square feet, and sits on an unheard-of six acres. Hence the reason why parties did so well here.

Apparently, Jase and Rowan’s dad is some big-shot millionaire who’d given it as a present to their mom before he’d taken off. Supposedly, he couldn’t handle the whole family responsibility thing. Their mom couldn’t take it and fell into drugs. Sometimes, I think she took Jase with her.

But not Rowan. Jase was always adamant about her staying a kid for as long as possible. Maybe that’s the other reason I was allowed to date her. We were only a year apart in age while his other friends were three or more years older than her.

I push open the door to the small bedroom in the back. There’s a narrow bed on one side and a small, private bathroom on the other side. A desk faces two windows with a view of the yard out back. I can just make out the fountain that’s never been full of water, except when it rained.

I think this would have been the butler’s room back in the day. Or maybe the main housekeeper’s. Either way, it’s clean and comfortable.

Tossing my bag onto the bed, I roll my shoulders and my neck, trying to ease the tension. I double-check my phone, just in case Rowan came to her senses in the fifteen minutes I’ve been gone.

My messages remain the same. No such luck.

I sit on the bed and start to go through my stuff, looking for that extra shirt I packed. Instead I stab myself in the hand with the sharp edge of something.

“Damn,” I mutter, taking the object out. It’s a stack of envelopes tied together. Letters from Rowan. Letters I never read, but kept with me. There are dozens of them in varying widths. Carefully untying the string holding them together, I take the one from the top and open it.

Dear Seth,

Today your grandmother finally made me go to school. It sucked. I hated starting my senior year without you. Not that you would have been here with co since you’re a year older than me and have different obligations.

Anyway, the kids are asswipes. They don’t know you like I do. They don’t know you would never hurt anyone, only defend them. Except Piper—Piper Ross—if you have trouble remembering my best friend’s name. Okay, girl best friend. She sticks to me like glue. It’s…nice to have someone on my side.

English class is fun. We’re reading your favorite book, The Count of Monte Cristo. I cheated by watching the movie first. Hope you don’t get it in that stupid smart brain of yours to become all revenge driven when you get out. It didn’t work out too well for him. And it won’t for you, either.

I miss you so much. I love you, too. When you get out, maybe you’ll still have time for my senior prom?

Don’t worry about the other day. We all say things in the heat of the moment.

Your girl forever,

Rowan

I read each one, laughing at her insights and hurting when she starts to realize that I’ll never answer her.

Dear Seth,

Please tell me what to write to make you forgive me. I miss you.

Love,

Rowan

Dear Seth,

You’re being mean. Write back, asshole. I miss your face. It’s much better looking than the new guy in third period. He keeps asking me out, but I keep saying no.

Love,

Rowan

Dear Seth,

Obviously, your time in the slammer hasn’t toughened you up enough to read one girl’s letter to you without crying like a baby. But I’ll forgive you if you’ll call me. Jase gets to call….

Love,

Rowan

Dear Seth,

Today, I turned seventeen without you or my brother. Thanks a lot for the birthday present you never sent. Jase gets to email me, but I think you would ignore those, too, or claim you never got them, so I won’t bother trying to contact you that way.

Come on, Seth. Write me. You have to. When I blew out the candles, I made a wish that you would and birthday wishes have to come true, right?

Love,

Rowan

Dear Seth,

I finally had sex with another guy. Did that get your attention? Actually, I didn’t because I’m a loyal person and only want to be with you. But it’s hard being loyal to a guy who won’t even write you back or call.

I hate this new side of you.

Love,

Rowan

“Fuck,” I breathe. I should have read these letters a long time ago. I would have seen the inside of the heart of a sixteen-year-old girl who’d just lost everything. I couldn’t even be bothered to call her on her fucking birthday.

For a long time, I stare at the letters. Then I start gathering them up. I know exactly what I need to do.

Chapter 16

Rowan

Bleary-eyed and half-awake from crying all night, I stare at Seth in complete shock. He’s standing on my front porch. There are dark circles under his eyes and he hasn’t shaved. This is not the look of a man who slept well. I’m torn between telling him to get the hell off my property and dragging him to my bed. I settle for interrogation.

“Why are you here? Haven’t you hurt me enough? Need to rub in how awesome living in Hawaii will be without me?” Way to be strong, Rowan.