My simmering frustration boiled over and confusion hit me. Josh awaited my answer, while I tried desperately to comprehend everything that was being thrown at me. On one hand, I had Lachlan’s text messages swamping my thoughts, taunting me, and bringing out the girl that I refused to be, and now I had Josh telling me that he wanted to kiss and taste me again. I had to shake the thought of kissing him out of my head and deal with the look of annoyance he was shooting my way. If he wanted the truth so desperately, I’d give it to him on a gold platter.
“He was messaging me today. He mentioned you in one of the messages, so that’s why I asked. I’m not lying for him. Why would I lie for him? The fact that you even said that pisses me off beyond measure. You have been telling me to forget him, and it’s been you encouraging me to move on. I’m trying really hard, so don’t you dare accuse me of lying for him,” I spat, my frustration evident in my voice.
“What did he say to you?” Josh stole the space between us and grabbed my hand.
I focused on his fingers entwined with mine and answered, “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah it does, because the moment I saw you I knew something was wrong, and then you tried to bullshit me by saying there was nothing wrong. So yeah, Ashlyn, it does matter.”
“Josh, it doesn’t matter,” I gritted out. “I don’t want him tainting my time spent with you, or causing us to have stupid fights like this, so please, can we just stop talking about him?”
I tugged my hand out of his grasp and fled to the kitchen to escape the intensity of the living room. I felt like I couldn’t win. Lachlan’s messages pushed me to the edge of breaking, but how could I break when I had Josh holding me up? I leaned against the kitchen island and focused on the view the eighth floor provided. Peace flooded me, and I felt the tension in my shoulders dissipate.
I jumped as hands fell onto my waist and the heat of Josh’s body collided with my back. There were no words said, only beautifully-choreographed movements. Josh’s arms threaded around my waist and pulled me tightly against the ridges of his chest. I sighed as the sweet combination of soap and aftershave hit my senses, and my head fell back against him. My body molded into his so perfectly, and the whole scenario of being in his arms didn’t feel out of place at all. It felt like it should be the norm, like my body was built to synchronize with his.
“Your stubbornness is legendary,” he murmured as his hot breath caressed my skin.
I gasped when his teeth suddenly nipped at my neck, and instantly a shot of pleasure cascaded down my spine and landed between my thighs.
“I don’t want to talk about him, so please don’t make me,” I whispered as I got lost under the sensation of his breath on my sensitive skin. My neck involuntarily fell to the side, allowing him better access, and I found myself becoming drunk under his touch. “He is my problem, not yours.”
“And you, Ashlyn, are my priority, which means I will be speaking to him. He doesn’t do this again. I refuse to see the spark in your eyes fade because of that asshole. This is one time that I am going to have to agree to disagree with you.”
There was no way I’d let him approach Lachlan. This was my battle to fight and, whatever it took, I’d make sure I came out the winner. I tried to pry myself out of his arms, but his grip tightened while my annoyance increased. “Let me go, Josh,” I said and struggled.
“Like hell, I’ll let you go. I’ve done that once before, and I’m not doing it again.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Let me g—”
With determined hands, he spun me around to face him and, before I could object, his mouth slammed onto mine. The force of his body colliding with mine pushed me back against the kitchen island, and the sound of crashing cutlery hitting the floor screeched through the air. I attempted to take a desperate breath, and Josh’s tongue took the opportunity to slide into my mouth and claim ownership. The moment our tongues collided, all control was lost. His hands cupped my ass, and I was lifted from my feet. Immediately, my legs wrapped around his hips. My body moved against his, grinding and begging to get closer. All ability to breathe was lost as he stole everything from me. His mouth owned me, claimed me, devoured me, and I couldn’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.
“I need to touch you,” he said against my mouth, before pulling my bottom lip between his teeth. “It’s been too fucking long.”
“Holy shit.” I moaned as he licked the pain away from my bottom lip.
I lost all sense of reason. All I could think about was the growing ache, desperate to be relieved, between my legs, and the way his mouth was working mine. I must have nodded in response, because we were soon on the move. My legs tightened around his hips, my fingers ran through his hair, and my mouth never left his. With every determined step he took, my needy body rubbed against his. I whimpered against his lips, which only encouraged a more seamlessly brutal kiss. My body hit the softness of a mattress, and it was only then that we broke apart. Our breathing was shattered into a million perfectly-cut pieces. His eyes blazed down into mine as he hovered above me with his arms holding the weight of his body. Without breaking his gaze, Josh’s hand disappeared under the edge of my shirt, and the cool air hit my heated skin. I shivered at the sensation. My pulse thundered as his hand moved over my hips and pulled my sweatpants down my legs, before throwing them next to the bed.
“Josh, I can—” I couldn’t finish my words, because the moment his hand slipped inside my panties and his finger touched me, my back arched. The ability to speak, think, and comprehend anything was stolen.
Josh lowered his face until his breath caressed my eager lips, but he didn’t touch his mouth to mine. He stared at me as his fingers continued to tease me with the promise of pleasure. My breathy moans filled the air, and my eyes slammed shut when not one but two fingers sunk into me. With a rhythm that danced between restraint and hysteria, his fingers moved in and out of me. He dropped his forehead to mine, and my pants collided with his whispers of my name. This was magic, this was chaos, and this was unrelenting pleasure in its best form. Josh Crawford, my college crush, was now my adult fantasy.
“Are you ready to come, Ashy?” His devilishly enticing voice echoed through my thoughts. There was no chance of putting two words together for a response, so my loud gasp of agreement was the only answer he needed.
The intensity of his fingers increased, and the sound of just how wet he had made me collided with my desperate breaths. Oh my god. My head slammed back against his pillow and my hips rose as my need to come strengthened. Emotions bubbled within me. This was intimacy at a level that brought back the greatest memories I ever had. Josh was the only man that had made me feel like I was special, even if we were only nineteen at the time. Those hours we spent together held more happiness then my two years with Lachlan. Josh had given me everything and, right now, in his apartment and on his bed, he was making me feel like that all over again. This had the potential to ruin me yet again, but this time I’d be ruined for all the right reasons.
“Please, Josh,” I whimpered as the pressure almost became too much.
“Beg for it, Ashy. Can you hear how wet you are? Do you know how fucking hot it makes me to hear my fingers deep inside you as I work your sweet pussy?”
Oh my god. “Josh, make me come. Now.”
“And you call me bossy,” he murmured, and dropped his thumb to my desperate clit.
His fingers continued to pound into me, hitting the spot every time, and his thumb rubbed my clit without missing a beat. The impending orgasm settled in the depths of my stomach and rumbled through my body like a brutal storm.