I focused on that as I began to explain. “You all know fashion is my life, but sometimes you just have to do what’s best for you. I’ve made some incredible connections in this industry, and I’ll be using them for my next venture. I’m starting my own fashion blog, and going out on my own. I already have some interested parties to work with me on a couple of things, which will cover startup costs. And word has gotten out, so I’ve been fielding emails all day regarding opportunities.”

Saying it out loud made it seem concrete. There was no turning back now. I waited with baited breath for their reactions. What they thought meant the world to me, and I fed on their support in so many aspects of my life.

“Wow, Ash! That is huge,” Ky replied, stating the obvious. “Really fucking huge. How did Alessandra take it?”

Alessandra De Solly was the high-profile, world-renowned fashion photographer that had hired me as her Head Stylist. It was a dream job. It saw me travelling the world, having a wardrobe that many people were envious of, and being able to wake every day to do something that I loved. My reputation and work ethic had enabled me to develop a great network in a highly-competitive industry, and it showed I was damn good at my job.

“She is super happy for me, and has asked that I do some commission work with her on the bigger shoots.”

“Have you got a name for your blog yet?” Eden asked, joining the conversation.

I turned my focus to her and smiled. “Not yet. I’m still waiting for the perfect name to hit me.”

“Stoked for you, Ashy,” Josh said softly, his eyes still firmly locked on mine.

“Thanks, Joshy. I’m feeling good.” I knew there was double meaning to my words, and I felt something flush through me knowing that only he and I understood it. “I have some other news, too.”

I lifted the glass of wine that Ky had placed in front of me and took a long sip. The blog news was nothing compared to what I was about to drop. I took a deep breath and allowed my eyes to glance over each of them, wanting to memorize them in a calm and accepting state.

“I’m also thinking of moving to London after the summer.”

There, I said it. It was now out in the universe, and suddenly it felt real.

You could have heard a pin drop. I sucked in a desperate breath, as I felt the air around me was being sucked out. Eden’s eyes shot wide, Ky’s jaw ticked, and Josh’s hands clutched onto his glass so tightly that I was waiting for it to shatter and send shards flying across the table.

“What the fuck?” Ky piped up, and it shouldn’t have surprised me that he’d be the first to comment. “Would you care to explain why you feel the urge to move across the fucking ocean to another fucking country?”

One thing about the Crawfords was they certainly didn’t mind using obscenities to get their point across.

“London has a huge fashion market,” I stated matter-of-factly. I matched his glare as my defenses shot up and my need to protect myself kicked in.

Ky leaned over the table toward me and lowered his voice. “So does New York, Ashlyn.”

I shook my head slightly. “There’s nothing holding me here, Ky.”

“That’s bullshit,” Josh scoffed, shocking everyone with his loud outburst. My head swung around to him and he scowled at me in frustration. “Bull-fucking-shit, Ashlyn.”

“You have no say in this, Joshua Crawford.”

“So now she uses my full fucking name,” he mumbled under his breath and tore his glare away from me in complete dismissal.

“What does Lachlan think of this? London is further from Australia than the states?” Ky asked with a lingering annoyance.

“Can you just support me on this? Is it really too much to ask for my best friends’ support? Yes it’s a big decision, but it’s my decision. I’m still here for another couple of months, can we just focus on that?”

I could feel Josh’s eyes burning into me at the mere mention of Lachlan. I lifted my glass to my lip and finished my wine as an uncomfortable silence fell between the four of us. After the waiter came to the table and took our orders, Ky and Josh spoke quietly about work while I fumbled with the napkin.

“I love the idea of your blog, babe.” Eden’s voice was sweet, and I looked at her and smiled. “Though I’m not excited about you leaving, I’ve always wanted to go visit London, and now I’ll have a reason.”

I decided to ignore the two men who were brooding over my decision, and concentrate on the one person who seemed to be supportive. “I was actually hoping to set up a meeting with you to discuss a few things for the blog.”

Her smile went wide. “Sure. I’ve got a shoot tomorrow, so I’ll pop over afterward.”

Once our meals arrived, I fell into quiet conversation with Eden. It seemed my news of London would not be discussed, but Josh and Ky seemed happy to talk about my blog. My excitement about London could not be diminished, though, and I spoke openly with Eden.

“So are you going to sell your apartment?” Eden asked as she twisted spaghetti around her fork.

“Yeah, I think so. Starting next week, I’m having some work done on it so I’ve reserved a room at The Grand Hotel, because I can’t stay at my place while they work on the bathrooms.”

“Do I not exist?” Josh asked, throwing his hands in the air in frustration.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked, still pissed at his reaction about London. “Good to see you’re talking to me now.”

“Why would you spend money at a hotel when I’ve got a spare room?”

Me staying with Josh? That would be like giving me a flute of gasoline and putting it onto a simmering fire. We had a fiery relationship, that seemed to always simmer just below the surface, and it was only a matter of time before it was ignited. He frustrated me to tears, but he was also the one guy that wouldn’t leave my thoughts alone.

I stared at him, wondering if he understood my blatant reluctance. By the shift in his brow, as if he was silently saying “so,” I knew he had no clue.

“I don’t want to impose,” I replied, giving the most pathetic excuse in the world.

“Impose?” His lip quirked, and I knew he was getting ready to question every response I gave.

“You know, when you have all your hookups turning up, I don’t want to be a cock block.”

“You are so considerate of my cock’s needs, Ashy. No hookups will be turning up at my apartment. My apartment is a hookup-free zone.”

Ky laughed at his brother’s way with words, and Eden rolled her eyes while trying to halt the smile begging to show.

“So what’s your excuse now?” Josh smirked, arrogance beaming off him at the thought that he had won this argument.

“What happens if I want to have people over?” I asked, knowing I had to bring out the big guns. My brow quirked at the idea of what I was suggesting. His jaw ticked. It made me aware that my subtle notion was thoroughly understood, and that he was now thinking of me bringing men to his apartment. Not that I had any desire to actually do it.

Through gritted teeth, he replied, “We will cross that path if and when we come to it.”

Damn him to hell. I had nothing. What more could I really say? I grabbed my wine glass and finished the rest of my red, while glaring at him over the rim.

“You’re helping me pack then.”

“I knew you couldn’t say no to me, Ashy.” He shot a shit-eating grin at me, then went back to his pasta.

“Whatever.”

A week passed, and Josh was still firm on the idea that I would be staying in his spare room while the work was being done on my apartment. He even went as far as cancelling my booking at the hotel. We had a fight about that too, but he just told me to stop being stubborn, and that he would hardly be at his apartment anyway.

Seven A.M. came way too soon. My week with Josh started today, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been thinking about it constantly over the past seven days. The unnerving feeling in my stomach when I thought about it wasn’t welcome. Don’t get me wrong, Josh and I were close, super close. He had the cockiness that did stupid things to my lady parts, and he had those damn back dimples that would taunt me when we went to the beach. He was a walking, talking, breathing, annoyance to my libido, and that was where the problem lay.