Now sobbing as I stared blankly out the window, I realized I had made a commitment to Rain, and I had every intention of keeping it.

I had to protect her from the monster.

ETHAN

“Give me that Dell with the cracked case, a hundred feet of ethernet cable with ends, the cable modem, a cable splitter, and about ten feet of cable,” I said as I pointed toward the used computer on display.

“You shouldn’t need but a few feet of Ethernet cable. And don’t you want a wireless modem?” the kid asked.

I pulled my hat down a little further on my head, “Nope. Just give me what I asked for.”

After ringing up the total, he glanced up, “That’ll be $345.54.”

I flipped through my wallet, “Here’s $350.00 keep the change.”

“Wow, okay. You want to give me your name for the mailing list of specials?” he asked.

“Nope,” I responded.

“Need a receipt?”

“Nope.”

“Here,” he said as he slid a spiral notebook across the counter, “Put your name in the book for the warranty. All of our stuff, even used, has a 90 day warranty.”

I picked up the pen and wrote Joe Schmoe in the book, and made up and address. After getting my cables and installing the ends, the kid carried everything to the counter and placed it in a cardboard box. As he slid it my direction, he glanced down at the book.

“Thanks, Joe,” he said.

I picked up the box and turned toward the door, “No problem.”

RAIN

A perfect trip to a perfect place with the perfect man was over. Meeting Cade’s aunt and mother was one of the best times I ever had in my life. The only thing that bothered me about the entire trip was the fact Ethan wasn’t there to enjoy it with me. Being without him was more difficult than I ever would have imagined, and as this was my first time away from him since the day we met, I realized his statement was true.

Because the tug on my heart proved not only how much I loved him, but how desperately I needed him in my life. When I shared with Cade how I felt, he admitted he missed Ethan as well. We had both purchased trinkets and gifts for Ethan, knowing he had never been out of the state. In our mind, Ethan was at home waiting, right where he belonged; in our hearts, minds, and lives.

“We’re home, boss,” I sighed as we walked into the house.

Silence.

“He’s probably riding somewhere. He hasn’t answered my texts since yesterday,” Cade said as he dragged the suitcases past the doorway.

I glanced around the house. It seemed eerily quiet. I peered toward Ethan’s room, blinked my eyes, and began to scream.

“Cade! Noooooo!” I screamed as I pointed toward the room.

RAIN

I sat in the doorway of Ethan’s room, sobbing. Staring down at the note, I was afraid to open it. Cade stood over me crying, his trembling hand resting on my shoulder. As we both blubbered, I removed the cellphone from the note, opened the folded piece of paper, and gazed down at the perfect penmanship. After wiping my eyes and swallowing the lump in my throat, I read what he had written out loud.

I love you two far too much to stand in the way of progress. As a wise man once said, “Realizing true love exists within us is quite simple. All we have to do is walk away. True love tugs at our heart until we return.”

I’ve chosen to walk away, leaving the two of you to enjoy a lifetime together full of the richest love, fondest of memories, and brightest of futures. If we’re meant to be together, one day we will be.

And if that happens, I’ll be the happiest man on this earth.

Loving you both,

E.

The paper was marked where his tears had dropped onto the ink as he had written it. A quick check of the phone sitting on the paper supported my suspicions, it was Ethan’s. The room was cleaned out, and nothing was left, not even a picture. I reached down and clenched the locket in my hand; and after a moment, opened it and stared down at the three of us.

My heart sank.

I felt sick.

“This can’t be,” Cade cried.

I stood and shrugged my shoulders, handing Cade the note. I stared into the room feeling empty and like a failure. I glanced at the windows facing north, and remembered the night Ethan and I talked all night as we glanced out at the street lights.

Feeling as if I had lost Ethan didn’t cause me to feel that I had lost a lover, I felt as if I had lost a part of me - a crucial part of my being. Now feeling no differently than I suspected a mother would feel if she lost one of her children, I turned toward Cade and began to cry.

“I can’t make it without him, Cade. We have to fix it,” I blubbered.

“I don’t…I don’t know,” Cade hesitated and wiped his eyes.

“I don’t know what to…do. I think I’m going to be sick. This is my fault,” Cade said as he turned toward the bathroom.

“It’s not anyone’s fault,” I said as I turned his direction, “He’s testing us.”

“Why do you say that?” Cade asked as he blew his nose.

“If we’re meant to be together, one day we will be,” That’s what he said.

“We have to find him,” I said.

“How?” Cade sobbed as he raised his hands into the air.

I shrugged my shoulders, “I don’t know. But if he’s gone for good, I think I might die. I love him Cade.”

“I know you do,” he said as he walked out of the bathroom, “So do I. I’ve always felt like he was going to be here for me, you know, keeping me safe.”

As I recalled Ethan’s promise to me, I shook my head, knowing he had left without doing what he promised to do. He said he’d keep me safe from the monster, and now he was gone. Not only did I feel half of my soul had vanished, I felt the remaining half was left vulnerable and exposed, waiting for the monster to attack.

“I don’t know what to do, but I know I can’t live like this,” I said as I wiped the tears from my face.

I glanced down at my feet as Cade embraced me in a hug. As he held me in his arms, I felt little comfort. No differently than trying to choose which of my children I’d be willing to forfeit, I could find no peace in knowing one of the loves of my life was lost. As Cade held me in his arms, I did the only thing I knew to do.

I know you’re out there. I know you are. I’ve never asked you to give me anything, and I guess that’s not going to change. But I need some help. All I’m asking is that you point me in the right direction, I’ll do the rest.

Thank you.

As Cade released me, the severity of Ethan being absent must have hit me. I collapsed onto the floor and began to sob.

And as much as Cade tried to comfort me, I continued to sob. I knew as sure as I was alive, that no matter where I went, and no matter who I ever encountered, nothing or no one would ever replace Ethan Hawthorne.

Nor was I willing to let anyone try.

RAIN

Ethan had been gone a little more than a week, and as much as I felt guilty for feeling the way I felt, the love between Cade and I diminished. After much consideration, I realized I didn’t love the two men individually as much as I had originally thought, but I loved them as a whole. Without Ethan, the chain was broken, and the love I was left feeling was not much more than strong compassion. Feeling truly as if I was the middle piece of a puzzle, and Cade was a third and Ethan the other third, I knew in Ethan’s absence the puzzle was incomplete.