When I pull up to the run down hotel, I sit in my car not wanting to go in. I want to go back to that damn restaurant, grab Jules, and hold her hostage until she apologizes and says she wants me as much as I want her. Realizing how psychotic that sounds, I make the better decision to get out of my car and go into my room.

I look around at the room wishing I was like the other guys. They all had something or someone to come back to. Girlfriends, family, homes. All I have is what I carry in my suitcase. I would rather have nothing than have my family though. My mother was a pill addicted waste of space and my father was an abusive asshole. The day I got out of that house was the best fucking day of my life.

A small part of me had hoped that I would see Jules, she would apologize, and ask me to take her back. I left hoping eventually I would have something that we never were, a family.

A family with Jules.

I guess it’s back to square one.

Chapter Five

Julia

I sit at dinner and my hands are still shaking from my encounter with Brian. Mostly I’m just mad that he’s making himself a constant presence in my life and goes out of his way to get to me. While I got over my feelings for him, I don’t think that they ever actually went away. When you lose someone you love, someone who was a part of you, that part just gets buried under everything else. Your experiences after that just mask their presence and push it down deeper into your consciousness until you are able put them out of your thoughts. Now that Brian is back, those memories are no longer buried, they’re back full force and torturing every minute of my life.

I can’t stop thinking about the way that he used to look at me before he told me he loved me, like I was the only person he could see. The day we first met, and his playful attitude are playing through my mind. The last night we were together is haunting me.

Dan comes back to the table and once he sits down I can see the irritation and anger on his face. This is so rare for him that it stops me in my tracks. “What happened?” Once I had come back to the table he could tell something had shaken me up. I told him that Brian was back and without going into tons of detail that he was basically trying to piss me off every hour of the day.

“Nothing abnormal, just him acting like the asshole he is.” I flinch at the term and am really surprised at the way that Dan is acting. I think one of the things that made me take the leap with him is that he is so completely different from Brian. The anger and attitude that Brian possesses always pissed me off and Dan had none of those qualities. “I think it’s best if you try to avoid him, Julia. He seems like he came back with a huge chip on his shoulder. I don’t want you to get involved with his over the top BS.”

I know he’s right and that I should stay away from Brian, but I don’t think it’s going to be that easy. “Let’s stop talking about him.” Maybe if we do I’ll stop thinking about him. “How was work today?” Dan started his own financial company when we got out of college and it has done extremely well.

“It was fine, just hectic.” He really doesn’t talk about his work much but he never has. I can honestly that I wouldn’t be really interested in it either. Numbers and business make my head hurt which is why it also helps that Dan is capable of managing the business end of my shop. “Has Brian said anything to you, Julia? Anything that is upsetting? I am trying to understand why after all this time he has just decided to come back and is still focusing on you.”

“Well, that is definitely the question of the day. Yes, he has said upsetting stuff but that’s his MO. Brian has always known how to make me mad. As far as why he came back, I have no clue. He hasn’t said anything to me about it. I really don’t want this to ruin our night though.” I look at him almost begging him to let this topic drop and to just move on with the night.

“I don’t want it to ruin our night either and luckily he left.” I nod and look over at the table where I first saw him. When I do, I see the faces of four men all fixed on me. Each one of them seems to be silently judging me and it makes me just as mad as Brian did.

The rest of dinner is pretty uneventful and that is perfectly fine with me. When we get home the lights in the house across the street are on. There is no possible way that he already bought it.

“Did they finally sell the house?” Dan asks me as we walk up to the door.

“Um, I guess so.” I really don’t want to drop that bombshell right now.

“What the fuck?” I look over at Dan to see what happened. “He bought it?” His voice is so full of disbelief and anger. I turn to see Brian walking out of the now dark house.

Dan looks at me and I laugh out of nervousness. “Didn’t I tell you that?” I try to sound completely innocent but fail miserably.

“This is so fucked up.” He walks past me and into the house. Brian being here is definitely causing Dan stress and is bringing out a side of him I haven’t seen in all the years we’ve been together. Before I know what I am doing I start to walk across the street.

“You can’t buy this house!” I yell from the end of the driveway.

He smirks and laughs before turning back to his car and opening the door.

“I mean it, Brian! You need to stay away from me and stay out of my life!” I feel bad for the last comment but I shouldn’t, it was his choice to not be in my life in the first place.

“Let me set something straight for you. I used to let your sexy little ass boss me around when we were together ‘cause it got my dick hard.” I gasp at his gravely tone and the words slowly seeping from his mouth. “Now that shit is over. I will do what I want, when I want, and the only thing your little tantrums are gonna make me do is enjoy it even more.”

My mouth drops open and I try to think of something to say. I have nothing though. How do you even respond to that?

He laughs at me again only making my blood boil even more. “You gonna move or are we having a staring contest? If we are, I’ll win ‘cause you are still a hot piece of ass to look at.” His eyes slowly trail up my body as if he is memorizing every inch.

I let out a screech of frustration before turning around and stomping into the house. I know he won and I think that might be pissing me off more than what he said to me. Brian always had the upper hand when we argued and he still does now.

The only issue is at least he cared about me before.

Now he’s just doing it to hurt me.

Chapter Six

Brian

Two weeks later

I walk out of the realtor’s office with a key in my hand to my house. It feels so good to be able to have something like this, somewhere to call home which is something I’ve never really had. It’s a good thing that I have done nothing with my money for years. Between all of my deployments and bonuses I was able to buy the house outright which helped to speed up the closing process. If I would have had to take out a loan I would have been stuck in that shitty hotel room for another month.

I don’t really have much to move or to put in the house. Today I’m supposed to be going to pick out furniture and shit but I honestly hate shopping. My mind goes to Jules and how I always imagined her being the one to decorate our house and make it feel like a home. I visualize what our house would have looked like all the time. It pisses me off seeing her around town and knowing that she is with Dan. I never envisioned a life that didn’t have her in it and now that I’m trying to build one it fucking sucks.

The guys and I are meeting at the bar tonight. We get together at least once a week. They all grilled me about Jules after that day in the restaurant. None of them really got anything out of me, I am definitely not the pour your heart out kind of a guy. I have been through enough that I have learned how to bury shit quickly. As much as those guys are my brothers none of them really know me. The only person who knows every inch of my soul is the girl who decided I wasn’t good enough.