“I’m complaining about spending what should have been one of the best summers of my life crying and depressed over someone who never gave a shit about me.”

She walks away before I can respond. What the hell is she talking about? Why would she have been depressed all summer when she was the one that ended shit?

I see her duck into the bathroom and decide that there is no way this conversation is done. “Yo, Hunter?” He looks up at me. “See that blonde chick at the end of the bar?” I point to Lacey and his eyes follow.

“Yea, what’s up?”

“I need you to keep her busy for a little bit.”

“Shit, say no more. She’s fucking hot.”

He walks toward Lacey as I head toward the bathrooms. When I walk in, Jules is standing in front of the mirror. I turn around and lock the doorknob making sure that we aren’t disturbed. “We need to clarify a few things.”

“No. I have nothing to say to you, Brian.”

She goes to move past me but I grab her arm to stop her. “That’s where you’re wrong. There is a lot that needs to be said. Like first, what the hell was that shit about you missing me all summer? You certainly weren’t missing me the night we broke up.”

“What are you talking about?” I can hear the exhaustion in her voice. She looks up at me her eyes filling with tears. “I loved you with every single part of me. You crushed me. No matter how much time passed or how much I told myself I hated you, I still loved you.”

Her eyes are focused on the floor. “If that’s true then what the hell happened that night, Jules?” After a minute, I grab the sides of her face with my hands lifting it up so we are now looking at each other.

“You crushed me.” Hearing those words come out in barely a whisper as tears start to fall from her eyes kills me. I have never stopped loving this girl not since I was fucking seventeen. Before I know what I’m doing my mouth is on hers. I need to taste her, to have her again. She said she never stopped loving me and I just want her to know that the feeling is mutual. She has always been the only person I let in, the only one I’ve ever loved.

I back her against a wall, finally getting a reaction from her as her arms slide up mine and her nails dig into my skin. I need her. I skim my hand down her body slowly slipping it under her dress. I wait for a second to see if she will protest, if she’ll tell me to stop. When she doesn’t, I slide her panties to the side and slip my fingers into her wet heat.

I have missed being able to touch her like this. I’ve dreamt about having her again. My mouth moves down her neck as I continue moving my fingers in and out of her. She’s releasing the sexiest fucking moans I’ve ever heard and my dick is rock hard already.

“Oh my God.” I look up and see her hand over her mouth. “What the hell am I doing?”

She pushes me off of her and before I can say anything runs out of the bathroom.

That was definitely not what I expected to happen tonight.

Chapter Fourteen

Julia

The sun peeks through my window and I open my eyes immediately closing them to escape the blinding light. My head is pounding and feels like it’s being squeezed so hard that what’s left of my brains might pop out. I can’t believe I let Lacey talk me into going out last night

She begged me for almost an hour before I finally gave in. It’s been a month since I lost Dan and it’s been hell. I figured I could use the night out, but I definitely did not think I would do what I did. I don’t know what happened, or even how I let it go that far. Yes, I was drunk but that’s no excuse for giving into him the way I did. I let him use me, I let him in again. I’m not ready to move on with anyone, especially not with Brian.

I’m not even sure how we both got to be in the bathroom, considering I can only remember bits and pieces of the night. I had just gotten the news that they found the guy who killed Dan. He still had his wallet and they found some other stuff that had been in his car. It brought everything from that night back to the forefront of my mind. It was like we were mourning and closing the door on what happened at the same time.

The doorbell rings and I grab the sides of my head trying to cover my ears. Loud noises are no good right now. I stagger downstairs vowing to not listen to Lacey next time she tries to cheer me up. I open the door to find the last person I want to see, Brian.

“You need to go,” I say as I start to shut the door.

“No.” He pushes the door open and then walks past me into the living room.

“Listen, I can’t deal with you right now. I’m hung over, exhausted, and regretting everything about last night. Let’s just chalk it up to a mistake and move on.”

He turns toward me. “I don’t regret last night. The only regret I have is not chasing your ass down when you ran away from me. We need to talk, Jules. We’ve needed to talk for six fucking years.” He sits down on the couch and makes it clear to me that I have no say in what is going on right now.

“What do you need to say, Brian?” I snap at him. I really don’t want to deal with this but I know that he isn’t going to drop it. I am so emotionally drained from everything that has gone on this past month. Dan’s murder, planning the funeral, dealing with life as a widow. Thankfully, they caught the asshole that shot him. Apparently he had a long record of past offenses. If anyone in the damn legal system did their job he would have been locked up and none of this would have happened.

“I want to talk to you about that night, Jules. It’s long overdue and we are both obviously still holding onto shit that we don’t need to.”

That night is the absolute last thing I want to talk about. “Say what you need to.”

“I want to know your side of the story. You say I left you, you say I crushed you, but I don’t even understand how that could be possible.” He is looking at me and he seems so sincere, that I almost believe his bullshit.

“I don’t know if you developed some sort of convenient amnesia, but it’s ridiculous that you’re going to make me relive that night. That you won’t just own up to what you did to me.” I pull my feet up onto the couch and get comfortable now knowing that we are most likely going to be here a while. “I was so mad at you when I left your house that night. You were being so pigheaded and irrational. I went over to Dan’s and we watched a movie. The next morning I couldn’t wait to see you, to spend the last hour or so I had in town with you and you ditched me. You left me there waiting for you, telling everyone they were wrong, that you wouldn’t just forget about me. Well, I was wrong.”

His hands run over his face in what I guess in frustration at hearing how much of a dickhead he was. “You skipped over a lot of shit don’t you think, Jules?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I am in no mood for his mind games right now.

“I mean all the fucking messages, ignoring every damn phone call I made. I mean the picture you sent me when I told you I was coming to get you.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”  I usually don’t lose my cool very easily but I have no idea what the hell is going on. “I fell asleep on the couch about fifteen minutes after I got to Dan’s. I was exhausted and passed out on the couch.

His eyes snap up to me. “What?”

“I. Fell. Asleep. So whatever the hell story you made up in your head is complete bullshit.”

His fist slams down on my coffee table so hard I think for a minute it might actually split in two. “If that motherfucker wasn’t already dead, I swear to God I would fucking kill him.”

I stand up. “Get out of my house! You do not get to come in here and say that shit! He was my husband! We lived here together! He saved me from the shell of a person you turned me into! We were perfectly fine until you showed up!”