He sits down on the bed beside me and leans in to gently caress my cheek.
“Calm down,” he says. “It’s just me.”
“Is he gone?”
“Like he never existed in the first place.”
I frown, nodding, but something about this still doesn’t feel right. I can’t get the images out of my head. This man touching me, talking to me, and trying to use me.
I bobble up and down and try to soothe myself, but it’s not working. Phoenix crawls under the sheets with me and grabs me, making it impossible for me to move away.
“Stop,” he commands with his dark voice. “Come here.”
He drags me closer to him and wraps his arms around me, keeping my wrists and face locked against his chest. At first, panic bubbles to the surface, causing my breathing to become irregular, but his steady heartbeat and the strokes of his hand on my back make me sigh.
Lying here with him, protected by his strong arms, I suddenly feel okay with being in his presence. Like it was always supposed to be this way. And strangely, this collar around my neck doesn’t feel so bad anymore. Instead, it reminds that I’m his now, and he protects what belongs to him. Always.
CHAPTER 26
PHOENIX
Age 19, weeks after prom
From behind a tree, I watch Vanessa walk up the platform to the graduation ceremony. She looks so happy with a bright smile on her face and her blue gown on. She holds the cap on her head so the strong wind doesn’t blow it off as she takes the stand. I hope that with every step she takes, she feels the burden of what she’s done pull her down.
I never got a chance to succeed, let alone try.
My fingers tighten around the band of my bag slung over my shoulder. One day … I’ll show her that she should’ve been more careful who to become enemies with.
With my head held down, I sneak off the premises and to the parking lot where my buddies are waiting. After I’d been kicked out of school, my only friends invited me to join their gang. At first, I was skeptical, but when I saw how much money they made, my eyes had dollar signs in them. I mean, it’s not kosher work, as we’re selling drugs on the street, but who gives a shit. I just want to make money.
“Hey,” they say when they see me.
“Yo, I’m ready.”
“You sure? I saw you watching that chick over there,” one of them says, nodding at the ceremony.
I shake my head. “Nah, I just wanted to see how many potential customers are in the bleachers.”
He smiles. “Sure …”
I’m getting the feeling that he doesn’t really believe me. I was never a good liar to begin with. Too bad Vanessa didn’t show me the tricks of the trade.
“Whatever; let’s just go wait in our usual spot. You,” he points at one of them, “Stay outside and talk to the people. Get them interested.”
“Gotcha,” he says.
We all walk to our corner where we’re at most of the times when we’re selling. We don’t want to do it out in the open and risk being caught, but we have to make sure people can find us, too. It’s the only way to make money … and money makes the world go round.
One way or another, I’m going to have to survive. If I can’t do it by studying and getting a good job, I’ll just do the filthy work instead. There’s much more money to make here anyway.
My foster parents don’t approve, but I don’t give a shit about them anymore. They never wanted me to begin with, always talking shit to be about how they think I’m a mess-up. I’m done with people telling me how I should be. I’m old enough to leave the house, so I’ve started sleeping at my bud’s place.
When graduation is over, some students had already found their way to the parking lot, probably in for a night of celebration with a good smoke. I eagerly sell them my shit, happy to provide, until I spot a familiar face walking near the alley.
My lips part as she stares at me in shock, both completely frozen in place.
One of my partners clears his throat. “Hey, isn’t that—”
“Vanessa?” I say.
Her shocked face quickly turns into a full-out scowl. “Miles? What are you doing?”
For a moment, I contemplate how to explain this to her, but then I remember … that bitch screwed me over, big time.
My nose begins to twitch, and I push the drugs into my bud’s hand. “Wait here.” I walk toward her. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Frowning, she looks up at me, not even a little bit scared of how much bigger I am than her or how badly I could hurt her … how much I want to.
“Is that what I think it is?” she says, looking at my bud.
“It’s none of your fucking business.”
“Yeah, it is,” she says. “I don’t want you doing stupid things.”
“You make me do stupid things, Vanessa. Because of you, I had to drop out.”
She shakes her head. “You have it all wrong.”
“No, this?” I say, looking back at my buds. “This is on you.”
I hear footsteps behind me but ignore them because I’m too busy with her.
“I didn’t make you sell drugs, Miles. That’s your choice.”
“No, you made the choice for me. And what the hell are you doing here anyway if you’re not interested in buying?”
“I saw you when I walked on the stage.”
I swallow, blinking a couple of times. Shit. She saw me. “So?”
“I know you were watching me, Miles. I know you still care.”
I muffle a laugh. “I don’t give a shit about you anymore.”
“That’s not true, and I care about you, too. We have to talk.”
“No, we don’t.”
I attempt to turn around, but she jerks my arm. “We’re not finished yet.”
“Oh, yes we are. We were finished the moment you ran back into that bastard’s arms.”
She leans back as I stare deep into her eyes. “You mean Phillip?”
“Who else? That son of a bitch doesn’t give two shits about you, and you chose him over me. And now you’re here to do what? Say you’re sorry? Ask for forgiveness? You won’t find either here, Princess. I’m done wasting my time.”
“It’s not what it looks like,” she says. “Please, give me a chance to explain it all.”
“You had your chance,” I growl. “You wasted it. No second chances.”
Tears well up in her eyes, but she whisks them away with her finger. “I’m sorry, Miles. I didn’t want it to turn out this way.”
“Yeah, well you should have thought of that before you lied to the fucking principal’s face!” I yell.
“I had to. I had no other choice,” she murmurs.
I shake my head. “Whatever. I’m done with this shit. Go back to your family and leave me alone.”
When I turn around, the entire gang has surrounded us. “What’s she doing here?” one of them asks. “Is she a customer or not?”
“No,” she sneers. “Like I would ever use drugs.”
He laughs. “Oh, I’m sorry, Miss Know-it-all. Are they too low for your standards?”
“Stop,” I say. “Leave her alone.”
“No, I wanna know what she’s doing here,” another one says.
They’re all ganging up on her, and I don’t like where this is headed. With her smartass behavior and my connection to her, these guys surely want a piece of her. Especially when she's so condescending about our business.
Another one steps forward. “Yeah, missy? What the hell are you doing here? Spying on our business?”
I grab her arm and look at her. “Just go,” I say.
She nods, her lips trembling, but the moment she turns around another one of them blocks her way.
“Going so quickly now? You still haven’t answered our questions.”
“I’m not interested,” she shouts.
“Let her go,” I say. “She has nothing, and she won’t rat on us.”
“How do you know? She’s done it before … to you, if I remember correctly,” my bud muses.
I frown. “So? What are you going to do? Hold her hostage?”
“That sounds like a plan.” One of them chuckles.
“You can’t be serious,” I growl.
One of them grabs her arm, but she jerks herself loose. “Don’t touch me.”