“Yeah. Well, Joseph.” He dropped my hand. “But Coram calls me Hernandez, so it makes sense for you to do the same.”

“Well, goodbye, Joseph.” I waved. “See you later. Don’t forget about our double date.”

“I won’t.” He pointed at me and backed toward the door. “Now get through that gate so I can give that guy a ride home. He’s been waiting long enough.”

I laughed and left, a smile on my face. He turned and walked out the door, his steps sure and powerful. He looked pretty darn good leaving, too. Even I had to admit it.

Marie was going to love him.

The next morning, I rolled over slowly, knowing when I opened my eyes that I’d be alone. Utterly, horribly alone in my parents’ house. I closed my eyes, trying to hold on to how wonderful that last night with Finn had felt. I wanted to remember the way I’d felt after we made love—close and naked. And so freaking happy.

I did it every morning.

Then every morning, reality came crashing back down on me. It sucked.

I reached up and fingered the sun pendant I hadn’t taken off since “Christmas morning” when Finn had given it to me. I still had no idea when he’d be home. I missed him so much it actually hurt. It was like I had this big, gaping hole inside of me that oozed pus and blood until I felt I couldn’t go on anymore. I just wanted to hurry up through Thanksgiving and Christmas and get to the part when Finn came home.

My parents knew something was up with me. They kept bugging me and asking me why I was so silent, and I kept blowing it off. I wanted to tell them it was because I was missing a piece of me, but I couldn’t.

I’d promised Finn I would wait for him, so I was. It still stunk.

Last night, I’d hung out with Finn’s dad for a little while. He didn’t know about Finn and me, but we used to hang out when I was younger, so he didn’t question why I wanted to play chess with him last night.

He was trying to hide it from me, but I could see he was sick. I had a horrible feeling it was his heart or something like that. His skin was a pasty gray that couldn’t possibly be healthy. Most of his duties had been delegated to younger men in the squad. Dad kept talking to him in low voices, and on top of that? He looked worried.

My dad. Worried.

If that wasn’t bad, I didn’t know what was. It made me want to demand he tell Finn, but I didn’t have that right. Not yet. He might be fighting as hard as he could, but Finn deserved to know. I’d almost emailed him about it last night, but then I deleted it.

It didn’t seem like something I should tell him over an email. We’d promised no lies or secrets, but I didn’t even know for sure if his dad was sick.

I sat up and shoved the blankets down to my feet. I’d get an answer out of him soon, one way or the other. Tomorrow was the Annual Wallington Holiday Dinner, which was like Thanksgiving and Christmas rolled in to one. All of the house staff and security guards ate with the family at this party.

Dad and Mom always bestowed bonuses and gifts upon everyone, and the booze flowed freely. It was my favorite dinner of the year. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I had my phone in my hand. My heart skipped a beat when I saw I had an email from Finn. I opened it with excitement, eager for my dose of Finn.

Hey, Ginger.

It’s hot here, and it makes me think of the cold ocean water in Cali. It’s been a long day, and all I want to do is sleep, but I have to pull an all-nighter.

Remind me to show you my latest cheerleading move when I’m home. Camp’s been fun because the sun is always shining.

See you soon,

Susan

I closed my eyes and fell back against the bed, my phone clutched to my chest. Every time I heard from Finn I relaxed for a few hours, because I knew he was alive and well. Then, a few hours later, I’d start worrying again.

But right now, directly after contact, was the highlight of my day. He was okay and so was I.

I smiled and typed a quick reply to him telling him I was sleeping well—even though I wasn’t—and I told him it was sunny here, too. After I hit send, I nibbled my lower lip and looked outside. It was cloudy and gray and the snow was coming down so heavily you couldn’t even see the driveway.

Sunny, indeed.

Last night, I’d asked Dad about his relationship with Larry—poked and prodded a little. Turned out Joseph—as I was now calling him in my head—was right. He and Larry were close friends. This only confirmed my suspicions.

Dad wouldn’t screw over his friend. He might be a politician and controlling in a creepy way, but he wasn’t that kind of guy. Dad wouldn’t take away his friend’s bonus. As soon as Finn came home, I’d tell him. It would remove one more worry from over his head.

I’d also found out some more about the commanding officer that sent Finn overseas—who was actually coming to dinner tomorrow night. He always did.

But Dad had been talking about visiting Arnold when he’d come to see me, and then he’d told me that Arnold was in charge of getting high-detailed security for important politicians and politicians’ families.

Is that what Finn was doing over there…wherever over there was? Guarding a politician? That didn’t sound too dangerous. I mean, it’s what he did for me.

I liked the idea of him following some rich snob around Europe. It was safer than the nightmares that plagued me every night. A knock sounded at the door and I lifted my head to call out, “Come in.”

“It’s me,” Mom said, peeking her head inside before opening the door all the way. Her faded red hair was pulled back impeccably in a tight bun, and her light green eyes sought me out. “Are you dressed?”

Her reactions never failed to make me smile. Did she really think I’d tell her to come in if I was naked on the bed? “Yeah, Mom. I’m dressed.”

She came in and closed the door behind her. Tinkerbell, Mom’s little terrier, whined from the hallway. “Tomorrow night’s the Wallington Annual Holiday Dinner.”

I almost rolled my eyes at how she used the official name for it, but held back.

“I know.” I slipped my phone under my pillow in case Finn wrote back. I mean, he used the name Susan—he’d even created a [email protected] account to stay in character—but I still didn’t like to risk it. I sat up and hugged my knees, resting my chin on them. “Dad reminded me last night.”

“I got you a new dress for it.” She reached out and smoothed her hand down my head in the way she always did when I was upset. I was trying to act all happy and cheery, but it was hard when a piece of me was gone. “We’re going to have some extra guests, too.”

“Okay…” I rolled my head her way. “Who?”

“Arnold and his family, the Christensons,” Mom turned her head and stared out the window, “and the Stapletons.”

Why did that name sound familiar?

“Sounds nice.” I wiggled my toes and sighed. “Do you need help setting anything up?”

She laughed, seeming to be relieved about something. “No, we hired temporary help so the normal help could relax before the big event.”

Ha. Only in my life would that sentence make total sense.

Finn would’ve laughed at that, too. My heart panged, and the happiness I’d found moments before simply faded. “Mom, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” She crossed her legs and perched on the edge of my bed. “What is on your mind? Are you finally ready to talk?”

She wore a flawless pair of black dress pants and a light pink satin top. She looked every inch the lady. As a kid, I’d always wondered if I would turn out like her. If I would end up being soft spoken yet strong. Kind yet stern. Always the lady.