So respecting her wishes, we did. I always missed calling her Jenny, though. It’s a sweet name, for a sweet girl. Who’d eventually grown up into a sweet and sexy woman.

A woman who sold her body and performed sexual acts for money.

Fuck. I can’t get over it.

“You need to get over it,” Danny says, as if he can reach inside my thoughts. “Sometimes, we’re put into situations we don’t know how to get out of. She didn’t know how to ask for help. She thought she was doing what was necessary to survive.”

“I don’t know if I can let it go,” I confess, hanging my head in shame. Who am I to judge? I’ve done many things I’m ashamed of. And Jen has never judged me for any of them.

“Do you love her?” Danny’s voice is fierce, and I glance up to see his expression is thunderous. He looks as if he wants to reach out and choke me.

I take a step back, stunned by his reaction, by his words. “I . . . yes. I do.” Fuck. The admission staggers me so much my knees threaten to buckle. Reaching out, I brace my hand on the wall, breathing deep, trying to calm my racing heart.

“Then fight for her. Tell her how you feel.”

“I can’t.” The words fall from my lips, broken and sad. I fall to my knees, unable to hold myself up any longer. “I want to but I can’t. I said things that hurt her. I might not be able to get past what she did.” Despair consumes me, blinds me. “I’ve ruined it between us.”

Danny kicks at my chest, forcing me to look up at him. I feel small. Powerless. While he’s so tall and commanding, standing over me, radiating power and strength.

But he’s dead, I remind myself. How can he be stronger than me when he’s been dead for nearly two years?

“You keep acting like this and you’ll ruin it,” he says, his voice like a hiss. “If you can’t let go of the past, let go of everything you’ve done and everything she’s done and focus on the here and now, then I can’t save you. She can’t save you either. You need to live for the present. You and her together.”

“I’m afraid she hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you. She could never hate you.” Danny smiles and shakes his head. “She loves you. She’s loved you for years. You’ve been blind to it all this time.”

The realization hits me square in the chest. Jen loves me. I’ve ignored her, treated her like crap, smothered her with too much attention, fucked her, yelled at her and called her a whore, and she loves me.

I don’t deserve her.

“I don’t deserve her,” I cry, repeating my thoughts. “I don’t deserve any of the love she feels for me.”

Danny kicks me again, his smile growing. “You really believe that? Then fine. You’re right. You don’t deserve her. You don’t deserve anything good in your life. You’re a worthless piece of shit who won’t amount to anything.”

I open my mouth, ready to protest, but no sound comes out.

“That’s right. Don’t bother arguing with me because you know it’s true.” He bends down, his face in mine, his dark eyes staring at me as though he can see that I’m nothing. “Worthless. Just like your father. Just like your mother always said.”

“No!”

“Worthless.” He’s starting to chant, his voice grating on my nerves, and I clamp my hands over my ears, trying to tune him out. But it’s as if his voice has insinuated itself into my brain and it’s all I can hear. “A no-good, stupid loser. Didn’t your mother use to say that about your father?”

“I’m nothing like him,” I protest.

“You’re everything like him. You even look like him. You’re doomed, Colin. You are turning into your father.” Danny kicks me yet again, straight in the gut this time, and I keel over, clutching my ribs. “And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

I wake up with a jolt, my eyes flashing open, seeing nothing but darkness. My lungs ache with my labored breathing and my entire body is shaking.

Fuck. What a dream! Like nothing I’ve ever had before.

“Sshh.” A soft, sweetly familiar voice breaks the silence and then I feel her. Her hands slide soothingly over my body, down my chest, pressing against my heart. “You’re okay. It was just a dream.”

Fuck. It’s Jen. After everything I said and did to her, that she would still come to my bed and try to comfort me is . . . overwhelming.

I’m nothing but a selfish asshole, while she constantly gives and gives and gives. And all I do is take.

You give to her too, jackass. You might not let her know exactly how you feel about her but you’re always there. You always want to take care of her.

Yeah, I need to work on that—if she’ll still let me.

I slip my arms around her waist before she can make her escape. I’ve never been more grateful to find her in my bed. She feels damn good, her long, bare legs tangling with mine, her hair brushing against my chin. I breathe deep her scent, holding it, wishing I could keep it with me at all times.

“Was it a bad one?” she asks as she wraps her arms around me and hauls me in close. “You called out my name.”

“I did?” I don’t remember doing that in the dream, but hell. It was all happening so fast, Danny’s words coming at me, carving me up and destroying me like lethal weapons.

“Yeah.” She sighs against my bare chest, I feel the gust of warm breath, and like a bastard, my body tightens in response. “You sounded angry. And sad.”

I definitely experienced both emotions in my dream. But I want to forget them, push them aside and focus on the woman I have in my arms at this very moment.

The woman I love.

“Jen, I need to say something to you.” I take a deep breath, ready to launch into an apology, a plea, to offer her whatever words I can to convince her to stay and never leave me again.

“Don’t. Please.” She shifts up, her fingers pressing against my mouth to silence me. “There’s no need to say anything. I know how you feel.”

The hell she does. I part my lips, fully intending to forge on, but before I can get a word out she replaces her fingers with her mouth and kisses me.

Just like that, I’m lost. In the taste of her soft, hungry mouth, in the feel of her warm, slender body. I roll over onto my back and she follows, lying on top of me, our mouths searching, our tongues seeking.

“Make love to me,” she whispers against my lips. “One last time, Colin. Please.”

One last time? If I have anything to say about it, this is just the beginning. I want to tell her that. I need to tell her how I feel but she’s kissing me again, long, hot, drugging kisses that push all rational thought out of my brain, and I’m done for.

Jen

I know I shouldn’t do this, but I want just one more chance with him before I go. That’s all I’m asking for. I know that together, we’re not going to work. He can’t deal with my past and what I’ve done. I can barely deal with it, so how can I expect acceptance from him?

I’d lain awake forever, unable to sleep, my body too restless, my brain too busy with my thoughts, my worries. I heard him yell, though I couldn’t understand what he’d said. He sounded so angry, though. Until I heard him call my name.

And then he just sounded sad. Pitiful.

Unable to resist, I’d gone to him just like all the other nights I snuck into his room. He lay in bed clad in just his underwear, the sheets twisted around his legs, baring him to my gaze. His golden hair an absolute mess, the strain and worry his dream was causing him written all over his gorgeous face.

Without thought I slipped into bed with him, untangling the sheet and pulling it over the both of us. He turned to me in his sleep, as if he knew I was there and sought me out. My heart flipped over in my chest and I snuggled close to him, desperate to offer him the comfort he needs one last time.