I needed a break from all of this.

We took our seats along the stage as Tuck ordered us a round of beers.

“What happened to your face, man?” Tuck asked Derek, and I laughed, clearing my throat to try to cover my reaction.

“Bar fight.” Derek’s eyes drifted to me.

I just shook my head, looking up the dancer on the stage. She was blond and curvy and her eyes were locked on mine as she walked around the pole and sank down to her knees. I grinned up at her as I relaxed back in my seat, my eyes looking over her tramp stamp as she spun around.

Our drinks arrived and I was thankful to have something to help cloud my conscience so I could feel a little less of everything.

“We should get you a lap dance,” Terry called out to Tucker.

He shook his head. “I don’t think my wife would like that.” He grinned as he called her “wife” and I couldn’t help but smile. Cass and I had had our issues in the past, but I loved her like a sister and I was glad that she had found her happy ending.

“Whipped already. That’s why I stay single,” Chris chimed in.

“Yeah, that’s why,” I spoke up.

He hit my chest with the back of his hand. “Bitches can’t handle this.”

I just shook my head and laughed as I drank my beer.

One became ten and I lost count as an endless parade of strippers took the stage. I wanted to go back to my room and pass out.

“You in the band, too?” a voice purred from beside me as she trailed her hand across my shoulders and walked to the front of me.

“Drummer.” I nodded.

She straddled my legs and began to dance suggestively. “Little drummer boy.”

“Nothing little about me, sweetheart.” I smiled at her and she giggled. Her hands slid through my hair, pulling my head back as she pressed her body against mine. Her smile never reached her eyes, and it turned my stomach to have her grinding on me when I knew it wasn’t what she wanted.

I grabbed her wrists and gently pulled them back so she wasn’t touching me.

“You don’t like it?” She stuck her lip out as if she were pouting.

“It’s not you. My mind is . . . elsewhere.” I grabbed a fifty from my wallet and gave it to her. I just wanted to nurse my beer and get this night over with as soon as possible.

She didn’t look happy but she walked over to another patron and offered him a dance. I stared off at the flashing lights over the stage wondering what the girls were up to.

“What did you do?” Tuck asked as he sank down in the seat next to me. He was the only other guy not getting a private dance.

“I’m just not in the mood.”

Tucker made a face as if I were fucking crazy and I just shook my head. “Only you can piss off a woman whose job it is to like you.”

“It’s a gift,” I joked. “Nothing is right. Everything I touch I fuck up.”

“Like Derek’s face?” Tucker cocked his eyebrow, a smile playing on his lips.

“Among other things.” I took another drink.

“Right.” Tucker set his bottle down and spun it in his hand. “I know I was kind of a dick when you were trying to get with Sarah on tour. I just didn’t want everything to get fucked-up for us.”

“It doesn’t really matter. I could never get her alone long enough to give us a chance. Now I can’t even make things right. Derek won’t let me near her.” I nodded my head toward Derek, who was fully engrossed in the woman grinding against his crotch. “And now I’ve totally fucked up our friendship. I feel like I’m losing her completely . . . if I haven’t already. Derek just doesn’t deserve her.”

“Agreed.”

“Why does that fuckstick get the girl? When do I get my shot?”

“Why was it so hard for Cass to leave Jax? She’s probably scared, man. You need to show her she deserves better, but she isn’t going to make that decision until she is ready. You’re asking for her to change her entire life and take a chance on the unknown.”

“I get two weeks, Tuck. Two fucking weeks or I lose her for good.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Tucker stood, patting me on the shoulder as he went up to Chris and said something quietly to him. Chris looked over at me and back at Tuck before he nodded. Then he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and walked toward the exit with his finger in his ear so he could hear.

I tapped my finger on the table to the sound of the drums in the song. Tucker came back a few minutes later and nodded as he sat down across from me.

“You want your chance? We’ll keep that douche bag out here for a few more hours. The club closes at three.”

“It doesn’t matter. Things with Donna are weird now.”

“Yeah, that’s what Cass said on the phone. She is handling that. Just go hang out with her. Get your closure so you can stop with this brooding bullshit.” He smiled as he peeled the label from his bottle.

“I owe you one, man.” I stood, glancing around at the guys, who seemed oblivious to what I was doing. I slipped out of the club and hailed a taxi to take me back to the hotel.

I was nervous the entire trip back. I didn’t want to put Sarah behind me, but I knew that was probably how this night would end.

I paid the cabdriver as we pulled up out front, and my eyes scanned the tall building. I didn’t know if Sarah was already in her room, and I wasn’t even sure she would answer if she was.

I rode up to our floor as my mind raced. I contemplated just going to my room and lying down, but as I passed by her door, I could hear her softly singing to herself. I couldn’t help but smile as I stepped closer.

I knocked lightly and her voice abruptly cut off. I took a step back and waited for her to pull open the door.

She looked surprised as she scanned the hall to see if I was alone. “What are you doing here? I thought you guys were shuttin’ down the club.” Her lips quirked in a smile and I relaxed.

“Headache. I just needed to relax a little.” I cocked my head to the side as I took in that she was wearing only an oversize T-shirt. My eyes rested on the thin, pink scar that was on the top of her thigh about the size of the scars that covered her arm, and my heart hurt. I knew I couldn’t turn back now. I couldn’t live with myself if she felt that being with Derek was her only option. I’d put everything on the line for her.

“Cass wasn’t feeling well.” We looked at each other for a moment. “I think Donna is up with her going over the scheduling.”

“You want to hang out for a few?”

“Oh . . . I don’t know if that is a good idea.”

“I’d love to hear what you were singing.”

Her cheeks turned pink and she smiled, embarrassed. “You heard that?”

“Was I not supposed to? You sing onstage in front of hundreds of people for a living.”

“This was just . . . I was just trying to flesh out some lyrics. It’s not really ready yet.”

“Let’s hear what you got. Maybe I can help.” I took a step forward and she worried her lip but stepped back so I could enter.

I looked around the room that was identical to mine but flipped.

“You can”—she gestured toward the bed—“uh . . . sit if you want.”

She grabbed a pair of shorts from her bag and went into the bathroom to pull them on. When she came back out, my eyes automatically went to her.

“Derek is going to freak if he comes back and you’re in here.”

“He won’t be back for hours. The club doesn’t close until three. If you want, we can go to my room. I have a bottle.”

“Okay.” We grabbed her lyrics and her guitar and snuck up the hall to my room.

She pulled open my fridge and grabbed the bottle of Jack.

“I stopped on the way home. I figured it would be a late night. I’ll pour the shots. I want you to sing to me.” I took the bottle from her hand. My fingers wrapped around hers.

“Okay.” She was so much more timid than her normal self. She set her guitar down against the counter.

I grabbed two cups from the cupboard and filled them each with a double shot. Sarah came to my side with a paper in her hand, and I could see it vibrate slightly as her hand shook.