My mind was racing; I was pissed and confused.

And why did it suddenly piss me off that he was going to meet up with Donna? I banged my head against the door as if I were trying to knock some clarity into my mind, and the sound seemed to bring Derek back to life.

“What’s up?” Derek groaned as he stretched across the bed.

“Nothing. I just don’t feel well. I think I drank too much last night.”

He laughed and patted a spot next to him on the bed. I pushed to my feet and slowly made my way over to him. His one eye was completely swollen shut, his cheekbone bruised and split open.

I sat down next to him and ran my fingertips over his cheek. “They got you good.”

He rolled over and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Yeah, but I won.” He let out a low laugh and coughed.

“Let me get you some water.” I went to stand but Derek’s grip tightened around my waist, holding me next to him.

“I’m fine. I just need some more sleep. Have you seen any of the guys?”

My heart began to race as I thought of what to say. Derek had been right about E, and telling him that would only cause a fight. “Not since last night. E went back in the club to look for you for me, but the cops came before he could find you.”

Derek smiled and nodded his head. “I’ll have to thank him later.”

I smiled down at him, glad that maybe he and E might finally be able to put some of their differences behind them and be friends.

“Come here.” He pulled me down so I was lying with my back to him as he snuggled against me. “Wake me up in an hour.” He yawned and laid his head against my back. I tried to relax against him, but I felt as if everything had changed in just a few short hours. It was killing me inside. Derek was finally trying. He was coming around and doing the right thing, but all I could think about was E. I closed my eyes as a tear slid onto the sheet below and prayed that sleep would take away my guilt, even if just for an hour.

WHEN I FINALLY woke, I didn’t feel any better. I wished I had someone I could talk to, but E was definitely not a good choice and Cass was still off celebrating her marriage. I felt so alone, even with my boyfriend’s arms locked around my body. I glanced at the alarm clock next to the bed. It was almost dinnertime and I had slept a lot longer than I intended. I pulled Derek’s arm off me and slowly slid out of bed to use the bathroom. I knew I should wake him, but I needed a few more minutes to myself.

I ran a hot bath and slid into the tub, my hair piled on top of my head with a clip. I wanted to disappear underneath the bubbles so I didn’t have to face the world again. I closed my eyes, getting lost in the warmth.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Derek’s voice startled me.

I jumped, splashing water over the edge of the tub. I tried not to let the fear from memories of my past show on my face. “You looked so peaceful. I figured you could use a little more sleep.”

He lifted the lid to the toilet and peed.

I gave him a look of disgust as I pushed myself up and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around myself. The bubbles still clung to my skin, but I needed to get out of there. The room was closing in on me. Derek zipped up his pants and grabbed my arm as I tried to walk by him and out the door. His nose skimmed along my jawline up to my ear.

“I know how you could make me feel better.” His teeth nipped gently on my earlobe, and his hand trailed down my arm and gripped the towel in his hand, pulling it from my body and letting it fall to the floor. “It killed me not being here with you last night.”

He turned toward me, lacing his hands behind my neck and pulling my mouth to his, reminding me of what had drawn us together in the first place—that magnetic pull that was impossible to deny. Those strong arms that had always made me feel so protected.

Derek’s kisses were hungry and he grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head and dropping it on the towel. My eyes danced over his tattooed chest before he pulled me back against him, needing to feel his skin on mine. His palm ran roughly over my breast as his lips moved over my jaw and down my throat.

The memories of kissing E flooded me, and my head began to swim with regret as I pushed against his chest to get away from his touch. I wasn’t feeling guilty for keeping it a secret. I felt guilty because I’d liked it.

“What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing. I just want to take it slow.” I pressed my lips against his, desperate to ignite the fire that had nearly flickered out. Derek backed me up against the bathroom wall, his body slamming hard against mine as he undid his pants and shoved them down his hips. Slow wasn’t an option and I squeezed my eyes closed, hoping he couldn’t feel how fast my heart was racing. I begged my brain to focus on the now.

The opening notes to “Free Bird” began to play in my mind, and I focused on the song as I let my mind detach from my body. I’d never enjoyed sex, but how do you explain that to your boyfriend? How do you even begin to tell the rock god you’re dating that you don’t feel like making love?

The lyrics grew louder in my subconscious as I let my imagination wander. Unfortunately, it went to the one thought I wished I could forget: kissing E.

Chapter Nine

ERIC

I COULDN’T GET MY mind off Sarah as I spun a beer bottle in my hand.

“Shit, you’ve got it fucking bad.” Chris laughed and took a drink from his bottle as he motioned for the bartender to bring another round.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The fuck you don’t, man. You nearly killed Derek last night.”

“I was being a good friend. You would have done the same.”

“Maybe. But I would have told her what he did. Why wouldn’t you dime him out? She would have ran right into your arms.”

“Because I want her to want me, not settle for me.”

“That’s fucking deep. You’re starting to sound like Tuck.”

“That’s what scares me.”

The bartender brought our drinks and I picked mine up. Nodding to Chris, I slowly nursed it. “She won’t leave him. She thinks he’s changed.” I stared ahead at the half-empty bottles of beer.

“She say that?”

I nodded, hating how my chest tightened when I thought of her.

“What does Donna think about all this?”

“She knows we are just friends. We’re just having some fun.”

“Like when you nearly fucked her on the dance floor last night? You’re treading in dangerous territory, man. Women don’t ever just want to be friends with benefits. They catch feelings faster than my brother gets STDs.”

I chuckled and shook my head as Chris pulled his phone from his pocket and typed out a message.

“What’s up?”

“Letting Terry know where we’re at.”

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and sent a text to Donna so she could come out with Terry and not have to walk alone. After we’d had a late lunch at the diner, she went back to her room to get some work done and set up dates and locations for our next tour.

Chris leaned over my shoulder to read my message.

“Get the fuck out of here, man.” I used my elbow to block him from reading over my shoulder.

“I can’t wait to watch this train wreck.”

TERRY SHOWED UP at the bar an hour later with Donna, who was wearing tight jeans and a black tank top that read DAMAGED across her chest. Unfortunately, he also brought Sarah and Derek. I downed the rest of my beer and ordered another as I prepared for a fight. I wasn’t sure Derek was stupid enough to say who fucked up his face just to keep me from Sarah, but he had been known to make worse decisions.

The bar was smaller than the club we hit last night, but just as crowded. Donna sat on my knee and I looped my arm loosely around her waist as I absentmindedly pulled at a loose thread on the thigh of her jeans. I owed her big-time for playing the perfect girlfriend role, although I’m sure she was enjoying being included in the group. It had to be miserable always pushing everyone away.