“That’s not an easy thing to do.” My stomach twisted as I thought about Skylar and the burden I carried around with me every day.

“It’s not easy, but sometimes letting go and forgiving others and yourself is the only way to move forward in life.” Sidney stared into my eyes. “There’s always more life to live, and sometimes you just have to live it. You don’t want to wake up and be eighty years old and regretting the path you took.”

“Yeah.” I nodded and looked down. “It’s just not that easy to move on. Especially when you know the other person is still living in that place, in that pain, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.”

“There’s never nothing you can do.” Sidney looked up and stared at me. “You just have to think it through a little bit harder. But there’s never nothing you can do.”

“That’s true.” I nodded at him and sighed. There was one thing I could do, but if I did it, there was a possibility I could go to jail for the rest of my life. And even worse than that was the possibility that I could put Skylar in even more harm.

Chapter 5

“Aren’t you going to kiss me?” She grinned up at me, with a devilish glint in her blue eyes. “We’ve been on two dates now.”

“I didn’t want to assume anything.” I smiled at her and studied her pouty bright red lips. “Though I suppose I should have read the signs a bit better.”

“The signs?”

“Your hooker red lipstick.” I laughed.

“Hooker red?” She leaned in closer to me and ran her fingers down my chest.

“Not that I’m calling you a hooker.”

“Of course not.” She pressed her breasts against my chest lightly. “You’d be paying me if I was a hooker, and I would be demanding payment upfront.”

“Payment upfront, huh?” I laughed. “Are you trying to take me for all my money?”

“It depends on how much money you have.” She whispered against my lips. “I’m still waiting, by the way.”

“I suppose if you want a kiss, I shouldn’t disappoint you.”

“I don’t suggest that at all.” Her arms encircled my waist and she pulled me towards her. I felt the bulge in my pants hardening against her stomach, and I guess she felt it as well because I saw her grin and lick her lips.

“Hopefully the kiss doesn’t disappoint you, though,” I teased her before leaning down and tracing my tongue along her lower lip, before sinking my teeth into it.

“I don’t think you’ll disappoint me.” She breathed out huskily before raising her hands to my face and running her hands through my hair. “Not at all.” She breathed against my lips before reaching up and pressing her breasts against my chest and kissing me passionately. Her tongue was in my mouth before I even knew what was happening, and she tasted like a minty, mysterious paradise. I kissed her back with fervor, nibbling on her tongue as my hands explored her back. I felt her hands reach under my shirt, and she scratched my back as she sunk into me. My hands found their way to the front of her top, and I gently caressed her stomach as my fingers worked their way up to her bra. She gasped as I gently squeezed her nipple, and I felt her fingers work their way to my belt, which she promptly unbuckled. Her lips encircled my tongue and sucked tightly as her fingers encircled my now extremely hard erection. I pulled her towards me tightly as I felt the thrill of sex coursing through my body. My fingers slipped up under her bra, and I felt her body melting into mine as they traced the curve of her breast.

“Come back inside.” She purred as she looked up at me.

“Are you sure?” I held her arms up and pressed her against the door, so she could feel the full length of my hardness against her.

“I want you inside of me, so yes, I’m sure.” She licked her lips slowly and seductively.

“I see.” I laughed, suddenly feeling a bit like a fish out of water.

“I don’t play games, Noah. I know what I want and I want you.” Her face hardened a little bit. “The question is, are you up for it?”

“I’m always up for it.” I growled back at her, not liking how she was challenging my masculinity. There was something about her that put me on edge. I was attracted and intrigued by her, but a part of me didn’t even like her.

“Then come inside.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me back into the apartment. “I told you to be careful of the big bad wolf.”

“I’m no piggy.” I stared back at her. “You’re not going to blow my house down.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that.” She laughed as she drew me into her bedroom and pulled her top off. I stared at her as she casually slipped her bra off and flung it into my face. “Don’t play with fire unless you’re prepared to be burned.” She fell back on the bed and stared up at me through veiled eyes. I ignored her words and jumped onto the bed, yanking my shirt off and throwing it on the ground. She grabbed a hold of me and pushed me onto my back, before pulling my pants and hers off in a quick movement. Her mouth was bobbing up and down on my erection within moments and I grunted as I pulled her hair, not feeling anything but the wanton pull of a near-orgasm. My eyes popped open as I heard the sound of footsteps, and I gasped as I saw the eyes of someone watching us through the doorway.

“Wait.” I pulled her away from me in a panic. “I think I just saw someone.”

“Oh.” She looked at me in surprise. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure?” I frowned at her. “There was someone watching us.”

“She’s a freak.” She shrugged before going back down on me. “I’ll be rid of her soon.”

“Who is—” I started but stopped as I felt myself coming close to a climax. I lay back on the bed, enjoying the sweet feeling of my release, but I couldn’t stop the uncomfortable feeling that was spreading through my body. Who was the girl who had been watching us through the door, and why was I feeling as if I was making the biggest mistake of my life?

Running helps me to clear my mind. I like to run for miles and miles and jam to hip hop music while I think through whatever is on my mind. Many people run to lose weight or to train for a marathon to raise money for some good cause. I run for me. I run to clear my mind from all my unanswered questions. I run to speak to God. I’m not sure when I started having conversations with Him. I’ve never been particularly religious. I didn’t grow up going to church or reading the Bible. I couldn’t tell you the names of the apostles or the gospels, but somehow I had developed a relationship with God. I think my conversations started my first night in Palm Bonita. And while I never heard a voice speaking back to me, I did always feel like I had been heard after my runs. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Sidney had said to me yesterday. I knew, in my heart of hearts, that I needed to stop letting the guilt weigh me down. But it consumed me when the lights went out and I was alone in my bed, all alone. All I could think about was Skylar and the look in her eyes when she realized that I wasn’t her savior. She had begged me to take her away from Palm Bonita, and I had said no. She didn’t know that I had tried. That I had wracked my brain trying to think of a way to save her from the life she found herself in. She’d cried. Big tears filled with sadness and fear. I could still see the look in her eyes when we’d had that last conversation. It was exactly the same as the first time I had seen her. That haunted wide-eyed look was imprinted in my mind. Now when I run, my conversations with God are angry ones, and no matter how many miles I run, I still never feel like I’ve totally cleared my mind.

“Well, hey, there, stalker.” A voice cut into my thoughts and I looked to the side in irritation. I was surprised to see a familiar face next to me. It was the snotty girl from the restaurant. I groaned inside as I nodded at her. I really didn’t want to deal with the waitress and her issues right now. I also didn’t want to think about the spark I felt when I looked in her eyes. “No hello?” She smiled at me teasingly and I gave her a weak smile back.