“Wow, you’re good.” I said slightly uncomfortable at how easily he had been able to read me. I looked to the side of the room and studied the family photographs on the table. “You never told me you were a psychic.”

“I’ve gone through unspeakable pain. I don’t talk about it much because the past is the past, but real pain. Gut wrenching pain, it never leaves you. And once you’ve been through it, you can tell when someone else has.” His voice was light, but intense. “Did you know that when I was fifteen, my brother dated a white girl? A pretty young blonde girl. She was a nice girl. Very sweet. They used to go to the movies. Well, one day some neighborhood boys from her school found out and they told my brother to stay away from her. My brother, he didn’t listen. We were in the North, you know. We didn’t think we had to worry like in the South. In the South, we wouldn’t have even looked at a white girl. Well, those boys, they didn’t like my brother’s answer. One night after he walked Ellen, that was her name, home, he got jumped by about five boys. Beat him black and blue. His nose was bleeding, his lip was cracked, and we come to find out later that he had a few cracked ribs. Well, my brother didn’t want to make no fuss. He didn’t want to get anyone into any trouble. We found out later that Ellen’s brother was involved in the jumping.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. That’s awful.”

“My brother lost sight in his left eye, and Ellen went on to marry one of the boys that beat my brother up.” Sidney’s voice was sad. “I never could understand how people could be so hateful and vile. That was the incident that broke my trust in humans and their innate goodness. People ain’t all good. That’s what you got to understand. Some people are just evil. There is no reason to it. It’ll break your heart once you realize that. You’ve realized that now. You’ve witnessed the cruelty that exists in some human beings. I can see it in your soul.”

“I have.” I nodded slowly and realized how aptly he had voiced the pain I know felt. Once again I was blown away by how accurate Sidney was in his evaluation of me and his ability to see into my soul and heart. “You’re good.”

“I wish I wasn’t.” He smiled at me sadly. “If there was one person I wished would never experience the cruelty of humans to one another, it would be you, my son. You more than anyone shouldn’t have to feel and witness the evil in the world. For you are all light, my boy. You were the one that made me believe in goodness again.”

“And I’m a good ol’ white boy.” I grinned at him, touched by his words and he laughed.

“Ain’t nothing about color. There be good white men and good black men. And there be bad white men and bad black men. It’s about the person inside. Can’t judge on the exterior.” He looked me in the eyes. “But I know you know that.”

“I wish everyone did.”

“It comes to most of us sooner or later.” Sidney shrugged. “To some it comes on the deathbed. But it comes. I’m lucky I met you. Or I could have spent the rest of my days thinking that all white men be the devil.”

“Or the devil incarnate.” I grinned at him, and he chuckled.

“So tell me what got you looking like your whole world ended.”

“I don’t look that bad, do I?” I made a face, and he shook his head.

“To most of the world, I’m sure you look just fine. Maybe better than fine. But to those of us who love you, you look lost.”

“I met someone in Palm Bonita.” I made a face. “Crazy, right? She was beautiful and sassy and we started dating and at first everything was perfect.”

“What changed?”

“She wasn’t the person I thought she was.”

“She broke your heart?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Not in the way that you think, though.” I sighed and bit my lip before continuing. “I’ve never really been in love. Or I should say, felt love. I’ve always had Zane and loved him, but I’ve never had another person reach that spot in my heart. And in Palm Bonita that changed. I felt an overwhelming and heart-stopping love, and I had to walk away from it, and I’m crushed. And there was nothing I could do. I’ve never felt so hopeless.”

“There’s nothing you can do?”

“Not legally.”

“That’s why you wanted me to contact my son, huh? You’ve got a big heart.” Sidney stared at me, and he looked thoughtful. I had a feeling he understood my vague comments better than I did. It was uncanny how he always seemed to understand what I was thinking or saying without me being very clear.

“Big hearts don’t always get you everywhere.”

“Everyone’s not perfect, Noah.” He leaned towards me. “And not everyone has a big heart. You’re the exception and not the rule, even though I wish that wasn’t true.” He paused, and gave me a look. “But you’re not God, Noah. You can’t protect everyone.”

“You want me to tell Zane.” I sighed.

“He has a right to know. You can’t just hide that from him.”

“You just don’t understand. I think he’ll be devastated if he learns the truth. Growing up, he had so many issues and so much hatred towards our mom. And I just don’t want to see him go through any more unnecessary pain.”

“You can’t not tell him because you’re afraid of how it will affect him. He’s a big boy.”

“I don’t want him to feel any differently about me, either.” I made a face. “I know I’m being selfish, but I don’t want our relationship to change.”

“It’s not your fault, Noah. He’s not going to blame you.”

“It changes everything.”

“It changes nothing.”

“It’s a life-changing piece of information.” I took a deep breath.

“Have you spoken to your mom?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I can’t respect her for what she did.”

“Can’t you forgive her?”

“She wants nothing to do with Zane.” I almost whispered the words. “I don’t know how she can distance herself like that.”

“Love is a funny thing.”

“I can’t accept it.” I shook my head vehemently. “I’ve witnessed first-hand the devastation that comes from not being wanted.”

“It’s a cruel thing to do to a child.”

“I won’t lose two people to that sort of devastation. I don’t want be a witness to two people being heartbroken from the pain and rejection of two people that should love them.” I jumped up as I saw Lucky and Betty approaching the door. “Need any help, ladies?”

“We’re fine, thank you.” Lucky smiled at me gratefully as she walked into the room. She placed the teapot on the table and Betty followed behind her with a tray of cups and saucers. She gasped quickly and rubbed her belly in amazement and I stared at her with a worried expression.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes, it’s great. I think I just felt the babies kick for the first time. Come.” She motioned me over to her and grabbed my hand and placed it on her stomach. “Let’s see if they do it again.” I stood there waiting for a few moments, but nothing happened. I let go of her stomach, slightly disappointed, and Sidney gave me a look.

“It’s a good thing them babies didn’t kick again, you know how disappointed their papa would have been if he would have heard that news.”

“He’d kill me.” I laughed. “After everything that has happened, this would be the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

“You don’t want to break the camel’s back.” Betty poured the tea and handed me a cup. “Not when the camel just started walking again.”

“Zane’s not that crazy.” Lucky shook her head at the offer of a teacup. “I’ll just have water, thanks, Betty.”

“He’s not. But it’s a special moment. I’m sure he’d like to be the first to feel his babies kick.”

“Yeah.” Lucky blushed. “About that, I think I was mistaken.” She giggled. “I think I had gas.”

“Really?” I laughed as a tide of red covered her face.

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I think it’s too early for the babies to be kicking. I’ll have to check with the doctor. I’m pretty sure what I felt wasn’t a kick.” She groaned. “Do not tell Zane, please. He’ll never let me live this down.”