might still be there. have enough imagined pictures of

him with Holly floating round my head without risking

adding real ones by returning too soon.

hug my hoodie closer, Holly’s money tucked safely

inside. It’s still hers, after all—she deserves it, whatever’s

happening with Andy. From the sounds of it, she wouldn’t

even take his calls—his “million voice mails,” remember

bitterly.

realize I’m fiddling with the birthstone necklace

and pull my hand away sharply, staring at the lights until

they splinter and blur like reflections on the tide.

Suddenly they’re blotted out.

“Hey,” Andy says quietly.

look away. “How’d you know I’d be here?”

406

“I didn’t.”

“Oh.”

flinch, hating my heart for leaping at his

arrival, only to be crushed yet again. He hasn’t come to see

me. It’s just coincidence. It’s only small town, after all.

“I looked everywhere else,” Andy explains, sinking

down next to me on the bench. “There’s not that many

places to search. Especially in off-season.” He smiles wryly

but don’t look up.

“And remembered how much you loved this tree

when we found it.”

stare up at it, at the cheerful red plastic lobster,

king for once, high above the beribboned pots, trying to

ignore the heat feel from Andy’s body close to mine.

“Rosie,” he sighs. “I’m sorry about what said. was

wrong.” He looks at me. “You were right to come here, to

tell them …” He takes deep breath. “Holly had to know.”

stare at my feet.

“What she’s going through, what’s happened—it’s

not your fault

None of it is.” He shakes his head. “And

it’s really brave of you to stay, to face up to the

consequences, take responsibility

I’m not so great at

that.” He smiles ruefully. “But I’ve come back to give it

go.”

He covers my hand gently with his.

“I’m proud of you, Rose. You’re so strong. When

think of everything you’ve been through

You’re the

strongest girl I’ve ever met.”

He squeezes my hand tight, his warm palm

enclosing mine.

407

squeeze back. “Thank you, Andy.”

“And Holly needs that strength—needs you—even

if she doesn’t always like to admit it.”

look away, suddenly cold again despite his hand

clutching mine.

“Holly.” nod. “You came back to be with Holly.”

“Don’t be an idiot, Rose.” He sighs, smoothing my

hair as it tangles in the wind. “I’m just

helping her with

something, trying to follow your example.” He cups my

face, his eyes deep in mine. “There’s nothing between me

and Holly.” He brushes my cheek tenderly. “There’s only

you. There’s only ever been you.”

look at him, his eyes fathomless in the dark,

glittering with the reflections of the tiny lights.

“I thought you’d gone for good,” whisper.

“I promised I’d come back,” he reminds me. “I

couldn’t leave things the way they ended—I had to

apologize, tell you you were right.” He smiles. “You seem

to be making real progress with Jack—with Holly …”

nod. “I hope so.”

“And believe me, you didn’t miss anything in

Washington. didn’t even get to the Smithsonian—Aunt

Patty was on overdrive, dragging me round town to meet

all her friends and neighbors—you had

lucky escape.”

He grins.

smile faintly.

“You were right to stay,” he says gently. “You’re

needed here.”

search his eyes. “And you …?” ask tentatively.

408

“I’ll stay if you want me to,” he promises. “But you

don’t need me, Rose—look how far you’ve come on your

own. You’re really building bridges here, and really don’t want to get in the way of that.” He strokes my face.

“They’re your family, Rose, there’s nothing more

important. They have to come first. They need you— all of you—as long as it takes.” He squeezes my hand.

nod slowly, staring at our hands, trying to work

out whose fingers are whose.

“Where does that leave us?”

“I don’t know,” he sighs. “I love you, Rosie Kenning.”

He grips my hand tight, and my heart aches. “And I’m so

glad everything’s working out for you—with Kitty, with

Jack, with Holly

I’m so happy for you.” He looks at me,

his eyes shining. “But right now

it seems like we’re just

on different paths.” He sighs.

swallow hard, my insides twisting as he lifts my

chin.

“Once everything’s settled down—when the

moment’s right, when we’re both ready

that’s when our

paths will come together—that’ll be our time …” His eyes

swim as he cups my face. “We’ll have our time. know it.”

He smiles fiercely and my throat swells. “And we’ll finally

go traveling together. Just you, me, the beach and the

sea—no stress

no worries

and it will be

incredible.”

He grins. “If our week in New York’s anything to go by,

can’t wait!”

His eyes sparkle and giggle weakly.

409

“I love you, Rosie,” he tells me, his voice husky as he

kisses tear from my cheek. “But for now—just for now—

they need you more.”

nod painfully, his face blurring in the dark.

He pulls me close and

shut my eyes, trying to

memorize the feel of his body against mine, every

centimeter his warmth touches

until finally he breaks

away.

“Au revoir.” He smiles, kisses me softly before

slowly walking away.

And although

feel cold without him, shivering

violently in the empty square, watching him disappear

into the night—though the future’s dark, and don’t know

when I’ll see him again—deep inside me, flame burns on.

410

Holly

The burning sun is just starting to creep over the

neighbors’ houses, gilding the roofs and chasing away the

shadows, as brush the dirt off my knees and wriggle into

the dusty corner. It’s smaller than remember up here,

darker, damper. But then, it would be; haven’t been up to

my tree house in about eight years.

pull my jacket tighter against the chilly morning

air as gaze around at the peeling pictures and discarded

toys.

long-forgotten treasure chest sits rotting in the

corner, the bright paint faded, like the old scrap of damp

carpet beneath me. It’s been long time—a lifetime—but

it’s still my place. The playroom Dad built for me; the den

where Melissa and shared our secrets and spied on the

neighborhood boys, watching for hours as they lay

bronzing in the sun, imagining our first kisses.

lean back and my hand rests on something soft.

pick it up and dust it off, surprised. His fur is coarse,

roughened with age and adventures, but the teddy bear’s

deep chocolaty eyes smile at me knowingly, his scent

wonderfully familiar. Mr. Brown. My favorite toy since

was baby.

baby hug my stomach, which is just beginning to

swell against my waistband.

411

Will you play up here someday, baby? Will you cuddle

Mr. Brown, read these books, climb that rope- ladder …?

Suddenly the ladder pulls tight, and spring back,

startled, as Dad’s head pops up above the floorboards.

“Hey.” He smiles, wobbling on the rungs. “Sorry,

didn’t mean to scare you. Your mobile was ringing.” He

tosses me Andy’s cell phone and glance at it quickly—it

could be the clinic. forgot to check the voice mail.