“I am not going to be doing it with Danny.”
I don't think.
But I'll admit this. I feel like I could.
“I probably shouldn't even be kissing him, but I am glad that I didn't do it with Jake. I knew it wasn't right with him. Not enough sparks.”
How did I date him for over a year? Well off and on, anyways.
Lisa nudges my elbow and raises her eyebrows, grinning at me like a Cheshire cat, “Any sparks with Danny?”
“Lisa, with Danny, I may very well burst into flames.”
“Well, the way he was drooling over you, I'm thinking it's way more than a friend thing. And it's about freaking time!”
“So what's up with you and John? You two are looking friendly.” I nudge her back. “He's very cute.”
“He is adorable. Did you see the muscles on him? I just want to squeeze them all. And he wants us to come down to Lincoln before school gets out and party with them.”
“Just be careful, he is a college boy,” I warn. Not that it will make a bit of difference.
“Okay,” she wiggles, “now I really do have to pee. See you back there.”
I'm walking by myself back toward the party when Phillip steps out of, what I think is, thin air. “JJ,” he says.
Ooohh, I'm in trouble when I'm JJ, not Princess.
“How 'bout I take you home? You've had a rough night with Jake and all and, well, you're starting to drink a lot.” I start to speak, but he holds his hand up in the halt position and finishes. “And you know Danny is one of my best friends, but I'm not sure I trust you with him tonight.”
“What? You think I might damage his reputation? That big stud Danny has to stoop to dating useless virgins?”
“That's not what I meant.”
“Phillip,” I say exasperated, “can you PLEASE let me scrape a little fun out of what is left of my night? Danny is a good guy and you know it.”
“Yeah, well tonight he looks like he could eat you alive. I'm not sure I like it, and I'm REALLY not sure you can handle it.”
“Phillip, I'm fine, and I haven't been drinking a lot. I've had two tiny sips of Jack, but I didn't drive, and I'll get drunk if I want to.” Of course I don't want to, but he doesn't need to know that. “And anyway, what's so wrong with having someone look at me like that? Maybe I want to be wanted.”
Phillip is getting really bossy and I hate that, so I say, just to spite him. “You know how I told you tonight was THE night.” Okay, I know what I'm about to say is not even close to being true, but I say it anyway, just to give him something to think about and because honestly, I have been thinking about it too. “Hell, maybe it still is.” I shrug my shoulders, like my virginity is something that requires very little thought. “Who knows, Phillip, maybe I'll just switch the guy.”
Phillip's eyes get huge at that comment. I know I'm not being very nice to him, but he's pissing me off. I turn on my heels. They've sunken into the dirt and I nearly trip, but I maintain control and start to walk away.
Then I stop, turn around, and continue. “And stop scowling at me every time I take a drink. I'm a big girl, Phillip. I can take care of myself.”
I march off in the direction of the keg.
When I get there, Danny runs his hand across the bare skin at my waist, giving me instant goose bumps across my entire body. He hands me the bottle. I take another sip and pass it on to John, as Danny whispers in my ear, “So tell me about this great underwear.”
Which gives me goose bumps all over again.
I don't get to respond because our conversation is interrupted by Lisa complaining, “I'm cold. Let's go warm up by the fire.”
Danny looks at me seriously, “Jake's over there. Can you deal with that?”
I think.
Uh, no.
Yes.
Maybe.
“Uh yeah,” I say, as we walk to the bonfire, “although I'm really not cold.”
“Yeah, me neither.” He throws his arm around my shoulder, winks at me, and smiles a devious grin.
Uh, oh. He's got a wild idea, I can tell. He's given me the look. The look he's given me on so many other trouble making occasions.
“What?” I say knowingly.
“Ya know, maybe it'd be good for Jake to think there's a reason you never did it with him.”
I squint my eyes trying to understand what he's getting at.
“Like maybe you were doing it with, oh say, someone older. Someone you may have gone to visit often at college.”
“Someone like you?” I say, getting it.
Danny grins conspiratorially.
Hmm. Nice idea, but I'm not sure Jake will believe it. Well, actually he might believe it, cuz he's jealous as hell of Danny. And I did kinda lie to Jake about my trips to Lincoln all year. In fact, I may have led him to believe I rarely saw Danny - that I spent most of my time partying with Lindsay, a girl from my volleyball team, who honestly, I never saw even once.
Jeez, Jake and my's relationship has obviously been of the Don't ask, don't tell variety.
Nice.
I study Danny carefully. “You know, I'm not so sure we should mess with Jake's temper.”
“Don't worry, Jay, I'd love for him to make a move. Most of the guys on the team would've beaten the shit out of him years ago, but Coach would've killed us. But for him to believe it,” he stops, pulls me close, kisses me, and then says, “I might have to do a little more than kiss you.”
Sorry, I'm a bit foggy. What were you saying before your kisses wiped all rational thoughts from my mind? Oh yeah, doing more.
“Whatever.”
“So don't freak out and slug me or anything. Deal?”
“When was the last time I slugged you?”
“Uh, eighth grade. Phillip convinced me I should try to look up your skirt.”
“Oh, yeah. Well, you deserved it, and it worked. You haven't done it since.”
“Not that you know about anyway,” he smirks.
“So what kind of things are we talking about?” I coo.
“You'll see, or maybe I should say feel,” he answers cryptically, then slides his warm hands up the back of my sweater.
He grins, which melts my heart and numbs my brain, then drags me over to join everyone by the fire.
I swear, if he keeps kissing me there will be nothing left of me but one big puddle. I'm not exactly sure what we're getting ourselves into, but Danny always has great ideas and, well, I'm having fun.
I once read a quote from Marilyn Monroe. She said, “Ever notice how what the hell is always the right answer?”
I think that should be my theme song for tonight.
I wonder if anyone's ever set it to music?
But hey, as long as I'm warm and Danny keeps kissing me, lets throw caution into the wind.
What the hell.
Right?
And speaking of kissing Danny, did I mention how wonderful it is? About how I can feel it all the way down to my toes?
Oh yeah, I think I did.
Did I mention that I feel a little dizzy?
Maybe that's more the whiskey.
No, it's not. I mean, I've only had a couple little sips.
I think I'm just intoxicated by Danny.
I mean, what girl wouldn't be?
And what exactly did Phillip mean by he looks like he could eat you alive anyway? Does he think Danny might actually WANT ME? Like more than just kissing me and trying to make Jake jealous, so I will feel better?
Me?
I'm not even a cheerleader.
And definitely not a C-cup!
He'd be breaking way out of his comfort zone.
What about the fact that I'm having conflicting thoughts about him? I mean he's a great guy and he is older and has more experience than a high school boy, and if the kissing is any indication, then I think we could have a winner!
Shit.
Unfortunately, he is also my friend.
My Good Friend.
Would I want him to be more than that?
Uh, yeah! Right?
But I don't really have time to contemplate that thought because as Danny and I slide to the front of the group, the bottle of Jack is passed around again. I put it up to my mouth for another sip, when I notice Phillip out of the corner of my eye. He's giving me the eye, and ever so slightly shaking his head no.