“Mom.” Matt stood just outside her room. “What are you doing?”

“What is it, Matthew?” Erin didn’t bother to look his way, but kept her eyes glued to the view of the street through the window.

He stepped closer and moved in front of her. “Mom.” He could see that her eyes were slightly puffy.

“Hi, honey.” She sniffed. “Is everything okay?”

While he hated her drinking, it was the one thing that seemed to make Erin at all motherly. “Yeah, everything is fine. Where’s Dad? What are you doing?”

“Roger is up on the third floor in the guest room. He’s got that dreadful cold that’s been making him snore.” She took a long drink from her glass. “I was just looking out at the snow. The streets haven’t been plowed well, have they? It looks icy.”

“They’re okay, Mom.”

“Maybe not. People shouldn’t be driving tonight.” She paused and Matt could see her hold on the wine glass tighten. Gently, he took the stem of the glass in one hand and peeled her fingers from the globe.

“The streets aren’t bad at all. It just looks like it from here.”

“Julie is out with the car, isn’t she?” Erin looked directly at Matt. “Oh, have you heard from her? Oh, no, Matthew.” Her eyes filled with tears.

“She’s just fine. I promise. Please don’t worry.”

“You won’t let anything happen to her, will you?” Erin touched her hand to his cheek, a small smile coming through the haze of alcohol and pain. “She’s quite special to you, to all of us, isn’t she?”

Matt nodded, but he couldn’t say anything. He felt near tears himself.

Erin leaned into him, wrapping her arms over his shoulder and rubbing his back. This was so unlike Erin, that for a moment Matt just stood still, unsure what to do. Eventually he leaned in and rested his head on his mother’s shoulder. His free arm moved to hug her back.

“You won’t tell her, Matthew, will you? Julie? Not yet.”

“Mom….”

“Please.”

Matt sniffed. “This isn’t fair to her.”

“Things feel better with her here, though, don’t they? Like this? She makes things easier. Don’t take that away. I miss him still, and now it’s easier.” Her hold around him grew tighter and Matt’s resolve began to weaken.

“We can’t keep doing this,” he said softly.

“Just for a while. Let her figure it out in her own time. When she’s ready, when she sees, it will be okay. I really believe that.” He felt his mother’s tears dampen his shirt and her fingers dug into him as she held on. “Please, Matthew. I am begging you. Let it come out in its own time.”

“Okay.” He nodded against her. “Okay.”

“Thank you.” He felt her relax a bit.

“You can’t drink, Mom. You know that. No more?”

“No more,” she agreed. “After tonight, no more. The snow, this time of year…. It triggers me. I think that your father and I will go out of town for New Year’s. You can stay with Celeste, right?”

Matt dropped his hand and eased back. “Sure. I guess so.”

“I think that I’ll take a bath now. Relax.”

“That’s a good idea.” Matt walked to the door, discouraged. Resigned. He almost turned back, but he knew that there was little chance she would say something to make this better, to make him feel loved.

He took a deep breath and knocked on Celeste’s door. “Hey. I came to say good night.”

“Good night, Matty.” Celeste smiled as he sat down on her bed. “I am exceptionally tired this evening. The print in my thesaurus is obnoxiously small and my eyes suffered significant strain.”

“I hope that you and your strained eyes rest well.” He reached to turn off the small light on her nightstand that was aimed directly at nearby Flat Finn. A spotlight on a star.

“Julie said that after she helps me with my project tomorrow that she will teach me to make bouillabaisse. I have some reservations about her chosen assortment of seafood, notably the calamari tentacles, but I have agreed to be brave.”

Matt patted her hand. “You are very brave.”

“Will you come with us to the seafood market?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes, very much.”

“Then I will.”

“You should get your rest, too. Matthew, you look unusually exhausted tonight. I saw the recipe, and it requires a multitude of complicated steps, particularly the aioli which is composed of nineteen ingredients. Your assistance will be crucial to our success.”

“Understood. Sleep well.”

“Would you please set Flat Finn outside my door tonight? I would like him there for the benefit of his protection, but I will also be maintaining necessary space.”

“Sure thing.” He turned off the Flat Finn spotlight and retrieved their cardboard brother. “Good night, Celeste.”

Matt shut the door to his room and pulled off his shirt. He was most definitely exhausted and wanted nothing more than to fall sleep and end this day. However, he held his phone when he crawled into bed. Matt lay on his back and stared into the darkness for forty-five minutes. He heard the creak of the stairs as Julie came home, and then he put in his earphones to try and block out the noise in his head. Then his e-mail sounded.

 

I think I’m falling for you.

Matt looked at the screen for a long time. “Julie,” he whispered aloud. For a moment he debated about what to do. Then he sent his reply.

Good. I think I’m falling for you too. Let’s not pull this chute.

Under The Christmas Tree

Flat-Out Love, Chapter 21, MPOV

Matt Watkins This season always brings back warm memories of peeing in terror on Santa's lap. Warm, wet memories.

 

Finn is God This is the season I always mix up “mistletoe” and “cameltoe.” Either way, I'm getting slapped.

 

Julie Seagle The only thing that stands between you and your dreams is the fact that they are all illegal, immoral, and disgusting. Dream on, you little pervert!

This was probably a stupid idea. He'd probably gotten everything wrong, and Julie would think this was incredibly dopey. Nonetheless, Matt continued lighting the candles on the Christmas tree. Even as tall as he was, Matt still needed to stand on a step stool to reach the top of the enormous tree that he'd picked out. It had been a nightmare trying to find candleholders that could be attached to the branches, but that's what Julie described in her Thanksgiving chat with Finn, and Matt wanted to give her the Christmas setup that would make her happy. As much as she seemed quite comfortable here, this was her first year away from home, and she must be missing the familiarity and routine of the holiday at her house in Ohio. California certainly couldn't be the same, although he was sure that she would have a good time with her father.

Matt flinched as he burned his finger on a flame. Julie said this whole candles-on-the-tree thing could be dangerous, and she was right. He stepped back and surveyed the room. Okay, maybe she would like it. All of the house lights were off downstairs, but between the hundreds of twinkle lights on the ceiling and the candles on the tree and the ones nesting in green garlands, the room glowed warmly on this dark December night.

His e-mail alert sounded, and Matt checked his laptop.

Finn—

Thinking about you. That's all.

—Julie

Matt bit his lip. He was lucky that she'd been holed up in her room for so long, probably about to go to sleep, and that he'd been able to get this all done. But now that he had, he was feeling embarrassed. What was the point? All he was doing was adding to Julie's feelings for Finn. This love triangle had reached new heights, and as much as Matt loved geometry, this was not the sort of triangle he wanted anything to do with.