movements. Do they have any idea they’re

clones of each other?

Beth sinks onto the bed and turns her head toward me. I don’t like how she looks. Beyond the cuts on her face and head, plus the bruises, she’s too pale and dark circles outline the bottom of her eyes. Wondering if I’m

dreaming, I reach over and rub her hair

between my fingers. It’s silky and real. I let the strands fall and meet her gaze. “How are you?”

I hate the way her forehead crinkles and the pain weighing her features. She closes her eyes briefly. “I’m so sorry. It’s my fault he hurt you.”

“Nope, not going to hear it.” I grab Beth’s hand and coax her to lie with me on the bed.

She resists. “But your mom—”

“What’s she going to say? I’m hurt. You’re hurt. We got tired and lay down. I want to hold you so for once in your life can you not fight me?”

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“Wow. Someone’s cranky.”

“Damn right I am.” But the knots twisting my gut begin to unravel when I lie back and Beth wraps her body gingerly around mine.

She’s hesitant, testing areas first to confirm the contact won’t make me sore, and I’m gentle when placing an arm around her so that I don’t jostle her arm.

When we’re settled, I exhale and close my eyes. I’ve dreamed of this for seven days. Who knows, I’m probably dreaming now. If I am, maybe Beth will do something that’s hard for her; maybe she’ll give me answers. “Why did you believe Gwen over me?”

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Beth

I READJUST, SNUGGLING CLOSER to Ryan, but braced for signs that I’ve hurt him. I can hear his heart now and the inhale and exhale of air through his lungs. If I weren’t so damn tired, I could possibly cry. I thought I lost him at my mom’s apartment.

Ryan runs a hand through my hair and I lick my lips, searching for courage. He deserves an answer. If not because he risked his life to save me, then because I love him. “I didn’t trust you.”

His heart beats several times before he

speaks again. “Why?”

Because I was stupid. “I don’t know.…” I

don’t have Ryan’s way with words. They’re hard for me. Difficult. At least words that have emotion. “I guess it was easier to believe that you used me rather than loved me. To be

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honest…I don’t get it. Why would someone

like you want to be with someone like me?”

Ryan tips my chin up so that I have to look him in the eye. “Because I love you. Beth—

you’re everything I want to be. You’re alive and live without apology. I never would have made love to you if I thought you didn’t trust me…or love me. And I never would have done it if I didn’t trust and love you.”

I lean up on my elbow and my heart is

practically yanked out of my chest by the hurt in his eyes. “I do love you, and I want to trust you.…It’s just that…I try.…And…”

Just damn. I slam my good hand on the bed.

Why can’t I explain it? Why am I so impaired?

“Hey.” The authority in his tone causes me to meet his gaze. My heart stalls when Ryan caresses my cheek with one finger and, under his touch, my skin turns red. I miss this. I’ve missed him. Maybe I’m not fucking this all up.

“Breathe,” he instructs. “It’s okay. Take your time, but just keep talking.”

Keep talking. I actually stick out my tongue in disgust and Ryan fights a smile. If he weren’t so battered already I’d sock his arm. I blow out a rush of air and try again.

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“I don’t know.…I just

don’t…trust…me.” I blink and so does Ryan and it feels sort of scary and exposing to have said something so raw. He rubs my arm, urging me to continue, and I don’t know how to

continue. That’s bull. I just don’t want to continue. But this is beyond what I want. This is about me and Ryan.

“I don’t want to make bad choices

anymore.” I glance at him, hoping I’m making sense, because I’m not sure that I am. “And I sort of think that any choice is bad because I’m making it and then I meet you and you’re great and you’re wonderful and you love me and I love you and I’m just so damned scared I’m going to screw it all up.…”

I slam my eyes shut and my lower lip

trembles. “And I did. I messed it all up again.”

Ryan cups my cheek with his palm. I lean

into it and open my eyes. “I’m glad it

happened,” he says.

“I thought they ran an MRI on your head.”

His eyes laugh. “They did. Just answer me this—before Trent arrived, were you going to leave with me?”

I swallow and I’m nodding before I answer.

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“Yes.”

“Why?”

My eyes narrow as I try to understand the question.

“No, Beth. Don’t think about it. Just give me the first answer that comes to mind. Why were you going to leave with me?”

My eyes flash to his and my mouth pops

open. No, it’s not possible, because if it is, then it’s a first for me.

The same hope I’ve seen a million times

from Ryan builds on his face. Is it possible he’s known all along? “Say it, Beth.”

“I love you.” Those used to be the hard

words, but now they’re easier. I exhale and the air shakes as it comes out of my mouth.

“Nice try,” he says. “The other thing. Say that.”

“Ryan…” My throat dries out and sweat

forms along my hairline. “I’m scared.”

“I know.” He tucks my hair behind my ear.

“But it’s okay.”

His fingers slowly trail down my arm, over my sling and he rests his fingertips against mine. A warmth unfurls within me, starting in my heart and flowing through my bloodstream.

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It creates a weird sensation of chains

unlocking and breaking free. It’s almost as if I’m floating.

“I trust you,” I say. “I was going to leave with you because I trust you.”

Ryan’s silent, but the small, peaceful smile on his face causes me to smile in return. I wonder if my smile looks like his. I trust him.

Ryan. It’s a little scary, but not as much as I thought it would be. Maybe this is it; maybe this is the beginning Scott’s talked about for months—the clean slate.

“Was that so hard?” he asks.

“Yes.”

Ryan touches my hair again. It’s like he

requires the contact to confirm I’m not a ghost.

“You need to learn how to start trusting

yourself.”

I flop down so that my head rests on the

pillow beside him. Ryan’s slow as he shifts.

Our faces are so close that our noses almost touch. My arm begins to ache and I have a feeling Scott will show soon because he’s timed my pain med schedule into his phone.

“Do you mind if I heal first before I tackle anymore long-lost resurfacing emotional

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issues?”

Ryan tilts his head and I silently swear.

Apparently we’re not done yet. “You’re

kidding me, right?”

“Scott said Isaiah came to the hospital,” he begins.

I nod, preferring not to go into this now…or ever. Noah visited me several times while I was in the hospital—once with Echo, and

twice on his own. He told me that Isaiah paced the waiting room until he heard I was going to be okay, then he left. My best friend left.

“I think we should talk about it.”

The fingers of my left hand try to tighten, but the blast of pain keeps me from making a fist. I hiss at the sting and Ryan edges closer.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I bite out. “It’s just…I already told you that it’s not like that for me with him.”

“I believe you.”

My brow begins to lift and I stop when the stitches on my forehead pull. Dammit, I’m never going to be able to move again. “Then why bring it up?”

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